Bittersweet Irony You Betrayed My Heart
by Kiheada.Ray.T
Summary: Kira and Shinn met by accident 1 day at the beach, and decided to take a chance. However, with Kira knowing Shinn's true identity but Shinn knowing only Kira's lie, what will happen when Shinn finds out the truth? KiraxShinn yaoui, no like, no read
1. Chapter 1: The Meeting

**Bittersweet Irony-You Betrayed My heart!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any GSD characters even though I would like to, he he. But I do own this story and its plot and if anyone tries to steal it they shall face brutal court hearings, along with being sued by the creators of Gundam Seed and Gundam Seed Destiny.**

**WARNING: This is a KiraxShinn fic, a.k.a yaoui, don't like, too bad, just don't complain! Please review as it would be very much appreciated, flames are accepted if it is respected criticism and not just burnage of my fic, as that's just not nice, especially since I worked so hard on it!**

**Chapter 1: The Meeting**

He lay on his soft towel, closing his eyes to the brightness of the sun and resting his head on his hands. The war was taking a toll on him as his free days grew short. _'Why do people always fight? Why can't they accept peace?' _He always wondered. He never wanted to fight, not even in the 1st war when he was taken hostage and betrayed by his best friend, Athrun. No, he only fought to protect, to protect his friends and the other innocent lives that shouldn't have to fight and leave their family behind.

But now there's a 2nd war, and once again he must fight to protect the ones he loves.

He sighed but was interrupted as someone fell on him. He opened his eyes and sat up to see a young boy lying across his torso. "Uh, sorry 'bout that, I didn't see you there." The boy apologized as he got up with a Frisbee in his hands. "No problem, I'm alright." Kira replied. "Well, um, bye, I guess." The other coordinator stammered as he ran back to his friends who were waiting to continue their game.

Kira watched as the boy took off to his friends. _'I fight to protect people like him as well' _he thought and smiled to himself. Little did he know that the boy who landed on him was Shinn Asuka, pilot of the Impulse Gundam, who would soon become his lover, and his enemy.

He continued to watch as Shinn, Luna, Meyrin, and Rey played Frisbee and splashed around in the cool ocean. _'They act like they have no worries, I wish I could act and feel like that.'_ He sighed again and decided to head home.

However, on his way he stopped at Subways to get the Sweet Onion Chicken Teriyaki he's been craving, and just happened to see the same boy who landed on him earlier. "Hi, I guess we meet again." Kira said to the boy. "Oh, hi, look, I'm really sorry about what happened." Shinn said. "It's ok, it didn't hurt much, besides, I've been hurt worse." Kira assured him with a smile.

"Oh, well, my name's Shinn, Shinn Asuka." He said as he stuck out his hand. "Kira Yamato." Kira replied and shook Shinn's hand. "So, are you a coordinator?" Shinn asked. "Yeah, are you?" Kira asked also. "Yeah, I'm with Zaft." Shinn said casually. Kira froze, _'Zaft? But he's so young!'_ "Is something wrong?" Shinn asked. "Oh, um, it's just, you seem so, young." Kira said cautiously. "Oh, well, I am 16; I just wanted to help Zaft make peace ya know? I couldn't just sit there and watch as innocent people die." Shinn lied.

The real reason he joined Zaft was because he had no where else to go. He had no family left, and an offer from a friend made him decide to join the military. But he still felt lonely and abandoned inside, and he wanted desperately to destroy the Freedom along with its pilot. How ironic that he was actually talking to the pilot himself and had no idea!

That's how Destiny works. It makes the most unlikely people cross paths ironically, and intertwines their souls to make them test the world around them and to judge what they truly believe as right and wrong. It's what Destiny was doing to Shinn and Kira right now.

"Oh, yeah, I know exactly what you mean." Kira said. "So, what do you do for a living?" Shinn asked taking a bite into his sandwich. "Um, I'm, uh, a reporter." Kira lied. He knew he couldn't trust the younger Zaft soldier with who he really was. _'Besides, it's only a little lie, it's not like we'll ever meet again, right?' _Wrong. Oh so very wrong.

"Hm, a reporter, for which company?" Shinn asked. "Um, The Daily News." Kira lied again and took a bite out of the goodness of the Sweet Onion Chicken Teriyaki Sub. "Cool" Shinn replied. Kira inwardly thanked God that his lie worked. "Well, see ya around!" Shinn said as he threw away his trash and left. "Yeah, bye." Kira waved. _'You have no idea'_ he thought.

(Author's note: Yes, 'tis a bit short, but the chapters will get longer, so, what'd ya think eh? You like? Please review! He he!)


	2. Chapter 2: Love or Lust?

**Chapter 2: Love, or lust?**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any GSD characters even though I want to, yada yada yada, same as in the first chappy! Same warning as well.**

_2 months later….._

He awoke in the middle of the night because of another bad dream. His skin dripping with sweat, he looked at the older coordinator sleeping soundlessly beside him, silently cursing him for getting better sleep than him.

"Another bad dream?" Kira asked as he turned to the younger boy sitting up beside him. Shinn blushed slightly and took back the silent curse he just said moments before. "Yeah." Was all he could say. "I'm sorry, Shinn." Kira said. "What? It's not your fault." Shinn said, caught off guard. "Still, do you wanna do something or just talk?" Kira said sitting up.

"You should get some sleep, Kira; you haven't gotten much yourself the past few days." Shinn said. "Nope, can't, I'm wide awake now." Kira grinned. Shinn blushed more and bit his lip. Suddenly, he felt Kira pull him towards himself and kiss him softly. As Kira drew back Shinn couldn't contain himself any longer and kissed him back, lustfully. He lowered Kira to the bed and pinned him down. Taken aback, the other coordinator tensed as he was being pinned.

"Relax, sheesh." Shinn whispered, grinning. Now it was Kira's turn to blush. "Sorry." He said. Shinn always wanted to be the dominant one, even if he was younger. Kira guessed it was because he was resentful and didn't like to be taken advantage of, so he made it very clear to everyone that he wouldn't. (A/N: Hear comes some grossness, if you couldn't tell,….I guess it's the poet in me…..)

The irony was that he was being taken advantage of anyways, by Dullindal himself; of course, he was just fooling everyone now wasn't he?

Despite that fact Kira often wondered how Shinn could be so resentful and angry at the world, and then take it out on him. It wasn't on purpose, but Shinn sometimes took the dominance thing too far, thus, Kira tensed up when he sensed that Shinn was in that mode again. Amazing, Kira, the Ultimate Coordinator, was being –abused- by an almost –innocent- boy like Shinn. If he knew who Kira really was, Shinn would most likely brag about it.

Shinn shrugged and kissed Kira again, more forcefully as he opened Kira's mouth and slid his tongue in. Kira moaned and wondered how much his body will be able to take tonight as Shinn started a trail of kisses down his neck.

"Shinn." Kira murmured as Shinn got more out of control. "Shhh, relax." Shinn whispered in his ear and stared into his eyes. Kira did as he was told, knowing full well what could (and would) happen if he didn't let Shinn have his way when he was like this. Their breathing fell heavier as Shinn unknowingly pushed Kira beyond his limits, and eventually fell asleep in the Ultimate Coordinators arms.

Wincing, Kira got out of bed as soon as he was sure that the younger coordinator was asleep, He threw on his briefs, (yes, I said briefs people, IT'S WHAT REAL MEN WEAR!) and trudged into the kitchen to get a drink. _'Shinn, what did you do to me?' _He thought as he leaned against the wall. _'I guess it's almost pay-back for lying to him'_ He smirked inwardly. _'I wonder what he'll do when he finds out who I really am' _the thought made him shudder.

He trudged back to his room, hoping Shinn was still asleep, which thankfully he was. As he –painfully- got back in bed he brushed some raven-black hair out of the younger boy's face, his hand resting on his cheek. "He looks so innocent when he sleeps." He said out loud to himself.

A smile crept across Shinn's face. Kira froze, thinking he was awake and heard what he just said. "Kira." Shinn murmured as a troubled look came across his face. "I'm here." Kira said, taking Shinn into his arms. _'Not another nightmare'_ he thought, but Shinn's smile returned as he snuggled against his lover. Kira chuckled to himself and fell asleep, finally.

He finally awoke in an odd position. He was on his back with 1 arm on his stomach and the other above his head. As he looked around he saw Shinn staring at him through his crimson eyes, with his hand on the older boy's cheek. "Good morning." He greeted with a smile. Kira groaned as he stretched and rolled over on his side, facing Shinn. "Mm." he let out while closing his eyes. "See, I told you you needed some sleep, now you'll never wanna get up." Shinn pouted.

Kira smirked but kept his eyes closed. "Fine then, I'll just have to wake you up." Shinn said darkly, intending to scare Kira, which he did. "I'm up, I'm up." Kira mumbled as he yawned and sat up. Why would Kira be intimidated so easily? Because Shinn's way of waking someone up was a –twister- (if ya know what I mean), and that was something Kira didn't want to experience after the night they shared.

"Halfway! C'mon, Kira, you're barely awake! You'll probably fall back asleep once I leave!" Shinn stated. "So." Kira replied with a smile, groggily while rubbing his eyes. Shinn made a move and Kira dodged, "Shinn! Stop!" he said sleepily trying to get the Impulse pilot to leave him alone. Shinn snickered as he tried again by pouncing on Kira and making him fall down. "Shinn, don't!" Kira warned. "I was just having fun!" Shinn whined.

"I'm too tired." Kira moaned and closed his eyes. Shinn ran his hand down Kira's neck and onto his chest, giving him goose bumps as he grinned almost –evilly- . "Don't" Kira whispered. Shinn finally gave in and got up to get some breakfast.

When Kira finally trudged into the kitchen Shinn was almost done with his cereal. "Took you long enough." He commented, following Kira's every move out of the corner of his eye. "Yeah, well thanks to you I couldn't sleep! At least not for long." Kira mumbled. As Shinn put his bowl up he "accidentally" bumped into Kira. "Oops, sorry." He said trying not to laugh.

Kira sighed as he poured the cereal into his bowl. Shinn sat on the couch and turned on the T.V. After Kira poured the milk he walked over and sat in Shinn's lap. "Ow! Kira! Get off, you're heavy!" Shinn whined. "Make me." Kira smiled and looked straight into Shinn's eyes. He gave in as Kira leaned against him, eating the cereal and wrapped his arms around him.

"Hey Kira?" he said after a long silence. "Hm?" Kira responded still eating and watching T.V. "I'm sorry about last night, I guess I couldn't control myself, again." Shinn confessed. "It's ok." Kira said softly. "No it's not, I hurt you." Shinn stated. "Naw, I've been hurt worse." Kira said. "Kira…" "Shinn, I'm ok, don't worry about it, alright?" Kira said trying to comfort the other boy. "Why didn't you stop me?" Shinn asked. "I couldn't" Kira told him.

"You could've told me to stop." Shinn said. "I did." Kira told him again. "I didn't hear you?" the young boy asked. "Nope." Kira said as he finished his cereal and got up. Shinn sat there, feeling sad that he hurt the 1 person who he trusted and found comfort in. He never meant to hurt Kira when he was like that; he just pushed too hard, went too long, and lost himself in the feeling. He really couldn't control himself and always woke up to a bruised Kira, wondering what happened and realizing it was himself that caused the pain.

But Kira would never let Shinn broad over it because he knew it wasn't the young coordinator's fault. _'He just doesn't know his own strength, that's all, or does he?' _He often thought. So it cam as a surprise to him when he felt 2 arms wrap tightly around him, and when he turned Shinn rested his head on Kira's chest and tried to keep himself from crying.

"Shh, it's ok, I'm here." Kira whispered softly into Shinn's ear and carried him back to bed. "What are you doing?" Shinn asked. "Roll over." Kira told him. Shinn did as he was told and rolled over onto his stomach and Kira started to give him a massage. Shinn groaned and closed his eyes. Kira was a good massager; Shinn often said he should become a licensed professional.

"Fell better?" Kira asked after a while. "Don't stop." Shinn murmured. Kira smiled and continued.

(A/N: yes I know this chapter was,…detailed….but it was still good right? Please review and tell me what you think! Thanks!)


	3. Chapter 3: Enemies in Battle

**Chapter 3: Enemies in Battle!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own GSD or the characters, blah, blah, blah, I do own the plot but I must admit that I got some ideas from Pillow Talk by: teno-hikari and I must give props to him and hope he updates soon!(starts laughing bcuz I just read the last chappy of Pillow Talk….again……)**

_2 days later…_

The siren went off and everyone started running for their battle stations. Shinn growled as he threw the rest of his lunch away and headed for the Impulse in the hangar.

"Shinn!" Athrun called after him. "What?" Shinn replied nastily. Now, everyone knows that Shinn absolutely can't stand Athrun, and that Athrun secretly wishes that he could tear Shinn limb from limb, but, as the new Commanding Officer and Shinn as his subordinate, Athrun still stuck to his duties. "Be careful out there, the Earth Alliance has some new Gundams and we still don't know everything about them yet." Athrun told him. "Then I'll find out how to destroy them!" Shinn said and took off.

Athrun shook his head slowly. _'That kid's gonna get killed 1 day' _He thought. _'He always rushes in, thirsty for bloodshed; he makes irrational moves and doesn't even think!' _He sighed and headed for the hangar as well. His Gundam's name suits him, yes indeed.

"Impulse, ready to launch!" Shinn called. "Right, Impulse, you're all clear!" Meyrin called back from the deck. As Shinn launched into battle there was only 1 thing on his mind: Destroying the Freedom Gundam and its pilot.

Kira sighed as the alarm went off indicating that EA was making another attack on Zaft. "Kira, are you sure you're ready?" Lacus asked beside him. "As ready as I'll ever be I guess." He said and headed for the hangar. "I want to go with you!" Cagalli shouted after him. "What! NO! That's crazy Cagalli!" Kira shouted back. "I can't just sit here and do nothing! I have to help!" she persisted. "You'll get yourself killed, look we don't know what we're gonna be up against so just sit tight!" he told her.

"You'll get killed too!" Cagalli burst into tears. Kira stopped running and looked back at his twin sister. "Kira, please watch out for the Impulse Gundam." She warned. "I will, sis, don't worry about me." He said softly with a smile and went into the hangar. _'Please don't get killed baby brother, you're the only thing left of a family for me, I need you' _Cagalli thought as she went on deck.

"Freedom, ready for launch!" Kira said. "Gotcha, you're all clear Freedom, be careful Kira!" Mirallia called back to him from the controls. He launched as Lacus and Cagalli held their breath, wishing for him to come out of this alive like he always does.

_'Where is he?' _Shinn thought angrily as he tried to find Freedom. Unexpectedly, a blast hit him on his right side. "What the?" he shouted. He looked around and saw a Gundam he's never seen before, it was the Gaia, Stellar's Gundam, whom he hasn't met yet. "I'll show you!" he yelled and shot at her with his gun rifles.

She dodged quickly. _'Wow, it's fast!'_ Shinn thought battling it some more. All thoughts of Freedom vanished for now as he tried to get Stellar off of him. "Shinn be careful!" he heard Athrun warn. "Whatever." He muttered and turned off the dialogue so he could fight without Athrun barking orders in his ears.

Athrun glared at the Impulse Gundam as 1 word floated into his mind: Stubborn. And then another 1: Cocky. And more: Irrationally impaired idiot! I could go on but there's no need.

Kira spotted Impulse fighting with an EA Gundam. _'Good, maybe I can actually try to end this without him trying to kill me for once' _he thought. How ironic, they were lovers outside of battle, but enemies in battle. Shinn still obviously didn't know who Kira really was, and ironically told Kira how much he loathed the Freedom and its pilot. Kira only wished that he could just tell him who he was, but then he didn't know what Shinn would do. _'If he can get that rough in bed, I wonder what he'll do when he finds out' _he thought again. A million scenarios flooded through his head, all with ways of Shinn killing him not so pleasantly. He gulped, _'Stay focused!' _he told himself.

"Kira, is that you?" he heard Athrun ask. "Yeah." He replied. "What are you doing put here?" You're gonna get yourself killed!" Athrun yelled at him. "Athrun, I have to end this war! It's pointless! I can't believe you're not with ORB! What about Cagalli?" Kira yelled back. Silence. "Kira.." came the weak reply. "No, I have to stop this Athrun, whether you like it or not!" Kira said and attacked a nearby GOUF.

Athrun once again sighed. Why was everyone always getting mad at him? There was not time to contemplate this answer, however, because another EA Gundam was attacking him.

"Athrun! Stay focused!" Talia also yelled at him. "I know, I know!" he growled and continued to battle with the enemy. _'He's good, I can't seem to shake him' _he thought. He then saw that Shinn finally shook his Gundam off, and was headed straight for Kira. "Kira! Look out!" he yelled along with Cagalli and Lacus.

Kira saw Impulse making a beeline for him and tried to get out of dodge. _'Ok well, at least I could get a few out of the way before he saw me' _he thought. "Get back here you coward!" he heard Shinn yell. He unconsciously shivered and more unwanted thoughts of Shinn mutilating him appeared in his head.

_'Focus, focus!'_ "AHHHHHH!" he yelled as he got hit by 1 of Shinn's lasers. "Kira! I told you to look out!" Cagalli screamed. "I know, I know! Sheesh!" he said as he also turned off the dialogue. "Alright Shinn, you got me, now GET OFF MY TAIL!" he yelled at thin air. His response was Shinn ramming into him and more laser shots. Kira shot back and tried to dodge at the same time, something most coordinators couldn't even do, but then again, he wasn't just an ordinary coordinator.

"Argh! Stay still so I can kill you!" Shinn yelled again. The Freedom pilot just continued to dodge and shoot back. That was when Shinn finally realized something, _'Wait, it's like he's trying to get away from me' _he thought the obvious. _'But, it's like he doesn't want to fight me, I wonder why.' _He thought and suddenly stopped attacking.

_'What is he doing?' _Kira asked himself as he saw Impulse stop its bombardment upon him. "Alright Shinn, what are you up to?" he thought out loud. He waited a bit and then decided to move to another Gundam when Shinn didn't do anything. "Hey! He doesn't even wanna fight! What gives?" Shinn yelled. 'That's it, time to have a little talk with Mr. Freedom!" he said as he tried to contact him.

"Sorry Shinn, it's not time for you to know the truth." Kira said as he denied contact from Impulse. "Argh! Talk to me ya coward!" Shinn shrieked and went after Kira. "Crap!" Kira shouted as he started to fly as fast as he could. _'he is definitely not happy' _he thought the obvious. "Stop running away from me!" Shinn screamed.

"What just happened with Kira and Impulse? They were just sitting there and then Impulse started chasing him!" Cagalli almost yelled at Lacus. "I don't know Cagalli-sama, something's not right." Lacus replied. Both girls looked worried for Kira. _'Shinn better leave my brother alone!' _Cagalli thought. She had already met Shinn when she was with Athrun and knew he piloted Impulse, but couldn't figure out why he hated Freedom.

"Hey guys, Kira's not allowing anyone to contact him, what should we do?" Milly asked. 'I'm going out there." Cagalli declared. "What? No! You can't go out there it's too dangerous!" Lacus warned. 'I have to Lacus, Kira's in trouble and I need to help him!" Cagalli told her. "He'll be in more trouble if he has to try and protect you while he has Impulse on his tail!" Lacus pointed out. "Then what can I do?" Cagalli said almost in tears.

Nobody knew what to say. As the representative of ORB, Cagalli couldn't just go straight into a battle, nope, that only worked for Athrun because he was with Zaft during the 1st war and got promoted to FAITH, so he could do whatever he wanted. But everyone knew Cagalli's temper, and they knew how stubborn she was too.

"I can't just watch him be chased around like this and hope that each shot misses!" Cagalli shouted. "Ok, um, Charlie, are you ready for battle?" Lacus said to a nearby soldier. "As ready as I'll ever be Cap'n Clyne!" he said in a salute. 'Ok, get out there and protect the Freedom Gundam!" she ordered, and with a quick "Yes ma'am!" the soldier sprinted towards the hangar.

"Why isn't Athrun doing anything?" Cagalli asked. "He's too busy trying to fight off 1 of those new EA Gundams." Lacus told her. Which was true, Athrun barely even damaged the Gundam and he was already missing an arm and a leg. "Darn it!" he growled. "Athrun reporting back to the Minerva." He called in. "Ok, hurry up." Talia said. _'Why are these guys so strong?' _he wondered as he managed to escape the Gundam.

Kira saw another ORB Gundam come up beside him, _'Is that Cags? It better not be!' _he thought as the Gundam tried to contact him. Expecting to see a certain Blonde he allowed the Gundam to contact him, being surprised by a red-headed, freckle faced, ORB soldier. "Hi! I'm Charlie Naro! Cap'n Clyne sent me to protect you from Impulse." The eager young soldier said. "Oh, ok." Kira said, a little confused.

_'Do they not trust in my abilities?' _he thought. Charlie got in front of Impulse to try and block him. "Be careful! He's strong!" Kira warned. The soldier just barely dodged a shot by Impulse. _'Not bad.' _Kira thought.

"Get out of my way!" Shinn yelled at the ORB Gundam blocking him. 'Not a chance, I was ordered to protect Freedom and that's exactly what I'm gonna do!" Charlie said determinedly. Shinn growled as he bombarded the red-head mercilessly. Luckily, Charlie was an exceptional soldier and dodged all but a few.

"Is that your best shot?" he asked Shinn cockily. Shinn finally had enough and went into SEED mode, taking his beam saber and slicing straight through Charlie. "NOOOOOOOO!" Kira screamed as he watched Shinn kill an innocent mercilessly. "That's it!" he yelled and attacked Shinn. "Oh, now you wanna fight huh?" Shinn shouted and tried to slice Kira too.

Lacus and Cagalli saw Charlie go down. "He was a good soldier." Lacus said quietly. "Now you know why I can't let you out there, Cagalli, especially since Shinn hates you too, he'll only kill you both." She said softly. Cagalli looked away and ran out of the deck. She knew Lacus was right, and didn't want to watch anymore.

Kira dodged the saber easily and took out his own as he and Shinn began a "saber" fight. Only 1 thing was on their minds: Payback. Now, don't get me wrong, revenge can be sweet, but only sometimes, and this was obviously not 1 of those times.

"Take that!" Shinn yelled as he got Kira's arm. _'I guess I have to teach him a lesson' _Kira thought as he also went SEED and cut off Shinn's legs. "NO!" Shinn yelled again and growled. The fighting got more intense between them as the battle around them was slowly ebbing down, the Earth Alliance was retreating and Shinn was being called back, as well as Kira. But the 2 fighters ignored everyone else and focused on each other.

That is, until Cagalli was screaming at Kira and Athrun was yelling at Shinn, making them both lose their focus. "We'll continue this next time!" Shinn shouted as Kira went back to the ORB ship. _'And then I'll kill you' _he added in his head, smirking.

(A/N: Wowzer! Are these boyz mad or what? I know I know, DUDE! THAT WAS A LONG FREAKING CHAPTER! But that's how I wrote it so that's how I did it, I would like to thank: IX The Melodious Nocturne IX, KC-animeangel, & M () I think is who also reviewed for reviewing! I feel so loved and appreciated! And as long as I get reviews, the happier and more inclined to continue I'll be! WOOT!)


	4. Chapter 4: A Lover's Spat

**Chapter 4: A Lover's Spat**

**Disclaimer: I do not own but would like to XD. Thanx to everyone who reviewed, please keep them coming!**

_A week later..._

"I swear I'm going to kill him!" Shinn said the moment Kira opened the door. "Who?" he asked, a little confused and still angry at the young teen for the battle a week ago as Shinn stormed in. "That Freedom pilot! Every time I'm close to killing him we're always interrupted!" Shinn said. "Well, maybe you should focus on trying to stay alive in battle; there are other enemies ya know." Kira told him in a dark tone. "Yeah, yeah, yeah, you sound just like Athrun." Shinn said, ignoring Kira's dark tone. OHHHHHHHHH! (Lol)

"Ok, well, are you hungry, 'cause I made dinner." Kira asked. "No, not really." Shinn replied. "Are you sure?" Kira asked again. "Yeah, I'm fine." Came the answer. "Ok then, your loss." Kira said as he sat down to eat while Shinn turned on the T.V.

Kira sighed as he watched Shinn flip through the channels, knowing that the boy was probably thinking of ways to kill him. _'I should really tell him soon, before he kills me in battle.' _He thought. When he was finished eating he sat next to Shinn on the couch. "Anything good on?" he asked.

"No" Shinn said. "What do you wanna do then?" Kira asked. "You." He said, giving Kira a wicked grin. Kira gave him a weird look as he scooted away from him. The wicked grin vanished and was replaced also by a weird look, "What?" Shinn asked. Then Kira cracked up laughing and said, "I was just joking!" between laughs. Shinn crossed his arms and scowled at him as Kira's laughs turned to "Eh heh, don't hurt me!"

And then the wicked grin came back. "Don't hurt you huh? Hmmm," Shinn said as he crawled across the couch towards Kira. "Yeah, be nice this time." Kira joked as he got pinned. Another scowl, "Oh I'll be nice alright." Shinn said sarcastically, or so Kira thought. "Shinn I was just joking." Kira told him with a nervous smile. "I wasn't." Shinn said looking positively –bad-. Kira's smile vanished and he gulped. _'This is gonna be another long night' _he thought.

And so it was. Shinn's fury towards the Freedom pilot caused him much pain indeed, the funny part was that Shinn didn't even Kira was the pilot but still beat him up anyway. Poor, poor Kira Yamato, the ULTIMATE COORDINATOR, the lover of the most angsty Shinn Asuka, the Freedom Gundam's pilot, the Princess of ORB's brother, and the Prince of Zaft's best friend. Life must be harsh.

"Ow!" Kira cried out as Shinn "accidentally" hit his arm as he rolled over. "Oops, sorry." Shinn replied with a look that said he wasn't. "Sheesh, what'd I ever do to you!" Kira whined to the young, angsty coordinator. "You stole my heart." He replied and brushed some hair off of Kira's cheek. Kira sat silent for a moment. "I love you, ya know, even if I don't show it." Shinn said still rubbing Kira's cheek. Kira closed his eyes.

Shinn then kissed him on the cheek, and down his neck, and was about to get on top again when Kira stopped him. "Shinn, no more." He said. "What's the matter?" Shinn asked. "I'm just, tired, that's all." Kira half-lied. Shinn propped up on his elbow and cocked his head to the side, looking Kira over. "I didn't hurt you that bad did I?" he asked, smiling. Kira just looked away from him to stare at his now swollen wrists.

"Kira, I'm sorry." Shinn said softly. "You always hurt the ones you love?" Kira asked, still not looking at him. "I don't mean to." Shinn said and sniffed as his eyes started tearing up. He wiped his eyes as Kira said, "It's ok." "No it's not; you're internally bleeding because of me!" Shinn blurted, crying. "What?" Kira said jumping up and looking straight at him. The ferocity in his amethyst eyes made Shinn flinch as he stammered, "I-I saw your d-doctor's report." Still crying and looking very much afraid of the older teen.

"It's not all because of you, Shinn." Kira said. "Yes it is!" Shinn cried. "Listen, Shinn, I have to tell you something." Kira said. Just then Shinn's cell phone rang. "Sorry." He said as he answered it. "Hello?...Yes, this is him,…what?...but……oh, ok…..yeah,…do they need me right now?...Ok, um, yeah, I'll be there in about 20 minutes……ok, thanks, bye." And hung up.

"That was Zaft, they need me back at base a.s.a.p, so I gotta go." He told Kira as he got out of bed. "Oh, why, did they say?" he asked cautiously. "he said somethin' about EA movin' in on ORB, although I could care less, with that place run by the likes of Attha I'm glad the EA's attacking them." Shinn said rather nastily. Kira narrowed his eyes and was about to say something when he remembered who he was talking to. "Oh, ok then, well, good luck." He said instead.

"Yeah, I'll need it, that Freedom Gundam will be there too, 'cause he's with ORB, maybe I can finally get him!" Shinn said oblivious to the faces that Kira was making. "Well, see ya later, I guess, I'll call you when I can ok?" Shinn added and kissed him. Kira pulled him down and said, "You better." With a sly grin, Shinn again saw the ferocity in his eyes, along with something else, and grinned back, saying, "I will, promise." And went towards the door. "See ya, Shinn Asuka." Kira said. When Shinn left he thought, _'Crap!' _and sighed.

Then his cell phone rang, it was Cags. "Kira, we need you, the EA's attacking us and we don't know why! Hurry!" she pleaded. "Don't worry, I'm on my way." He said as he got dressed. 'Thanks, I'm sorry for ruining your time off." She said. 'It's not you, Cags, it's EA and this stupid war!" he said and headed out the door. "Ok, see you there then." She said and hung up after Kira said, "Yeah, bye."

'_I was seriously about to tell him too, but nooooo! Zaft had to call and tell him that EA was attacking ORB! Great! Just great! Why is the EA attacking ORB anyway? We were helping them!' _he thought and sped off towards the secret meeting place where he kept his Gundam and could get to ORB.

This was not his week. Definitely not his week.

_At ORB…_

"What's going on? Why is the EA attacking us?" Kira asked when he met up with Cagalli and Lacus. "We don't know exactly, they started attacking about an hour ago, all they keep saying is that we keep interrupting their battles with Zaft." Lacus replied. "Yeah, but we were helping them win! And besides, we helped them during the first war; you'd think they'd return the favor!" Cagalli snapped, not particularly at Lacus, she was just very angry.

"They are, kind of, because we have been interrupting their battles and attacking both them and Zaft. But if we just attack Zaft then they'll attack us back too, it's a no-win situation guys." Lacus said. Kira sighed and rubbed his temples. He was sore and had a pounding headache that would only get worse when he stepped in battle.

"Well, are we gonna fight back or just let them attack us?" Kira asked. "Fight back of course!" Cagalli yelled, making him wince. "Kira, are you ok, you don't look so good." Lacus said. "I'm ok, I just had a rough night." He said. _'Maybe a little too rough' _he thought. "Are you sure you're ready for battle?" she asked again. "Yeah, I can't just let EA attack us for no reason." He told her.

"And neither can I!" Cagalli said and tried to slip away with Kira. "Hold it! Cags, how many times must I tell you that you can't go out there?" Lacus asked. "How many times I gotta tell you I have to go out there?" Cagalli said. Kira slipped off towards his Gundam, not wanting to get into this again. _'I hope I make it out alive this time' _he thought as he prepared for launch.

"Hey! What do you think you're doing launching without telling me bye?" Cagalli yelled at him. "Sorry, I didn't want to get into that argument with you and I just want to get this over with." He told her. She sighed, her amber eyes looking tired and sad. "I know, just come out in 1 piece for me, please?" she asked of him. "I promise." He said hoping he wouldn't break it, for her sake. "Ok, good luck out there." She said. "Thanks." He said as he appeared on the battle field.

'_Shinn shouldn't be here quite yet, but I should still keep a look-out' _he thought. "Attention Freedom Gundam, if you've come out here to fight, we will shoot you down!" came the all-too familiar voice of Natarle Badgirul (sp?). "Why are you attacking ORB?" Kira asked her straight up. "You've been getting in our way and we need you to stop!" she replied. "We're only trying to help end this war as quickly as possible! Can't you see it's pointless?" Kira told her.

"Well, we don't need your help!" she said through gritted teeth. An alarm went off onboard the Archangel as they were told of incoming Zaft forces. "Great!" she yelled and turned her full attention towards Zaft. _'Well, here we go' _Kira thought as he spotted Impulse along with Athrun's repaired Justice and a fleet of Zaft GOUFs and ZAKUs. "Here they come, Kira." Lacus told him. "I see them." He said.

"Attention all Zaft and EA forces, if you wish to battle you must do it elsewhere, out of ORB Territory!" Lacus's voice went out to everyone. "Attention ORB, we have not come to attack you but to lead the EA away from you, with your permission." Came Athrun's voice. Cagalli teared up as she saw his face and heard his voice. "Lacus, what do I do?" Kira asked her. "Let them lead the EA off, and if you must, follow them, or should I say, 'escort' them." She responded. "Gotcha." he said.

"Athrun, I'm gonna follow you out, ok?" Kira told him. "Alright, just stick by me, Sh-I mean, Impulse Gundam, isn't really gonna be ok with this, so let me deal with it." Athrun informed him. _'If only he knew' _Kira thought as he flew beside Athrun. You see, no one knew about Shinn and Kira's relationship except Shinn and Kira themselves, at least not yet. (Spoiler).

"What's going on? Why is he with you, Athrun, and why aren't we fighting EA?" Shinn yelled. "We have to take this battle out of ORB territory, Shinn, the Freedom is just 'escorting' us all out to make sure we don't turn back and just start fighting each other and so the EA will stop attacking ORB." Athrun said rather calmly with a hint of, "If you complain further I'll have to hurt you." in his voice. Shinn growled and threw death glares at the cursed Gundam and its unyielding pilot.

'_Shinn better not try anything' _Cagalli thought, trying not to think of Athrun. As the war carried on their relationship grew more distant. Athrun was off with Zaft and Cagalli had business with ORB, and the war was definitely not helping. Somewhere, Cagalli knew that she didn't want to lose her beloved, Emerald-eyed, blue-haired, Prince of Zaft, hunk-of-a-man, Athrun. And he, in return, didn't want to lose her.

The same thing was happening with lacus and Kira. Lacus could sense that their relationship was dimming and didn't even know he was gay (well, actually, he's bi-sexual). And Kira knew that he couldn't keep his secret from her forever, he never was able to keep his secrets from someone anyways, or lie to someone for a long time. Cagalli also sensed something was up, and would soon ask her brother the big question: "Is there someone else?"

"Once they're beyond the perimeter, get out of there; let Zaft handle them for this one." Lacus told Kira and surprised everyone. "But, EA was attacking us; we can't just let them fight with Zaft! We've been trying to end this war!" Cagalli said as others agreed. "We can't risk it this time, some of our soldiers and Gundams are still damaged from the last battle, Kira's just about the only one left." Lacus said and didn't say anything else. Cagalli sighed, _'Darn you Kira! Why do you always have to be the hero?"' _she thought and left the bridge to wait for him in the hangar.

"Alright, I'll leave you here, are you sure you have this Athrun?" Kira asked his friend. "Yup, leave it to us." He replied. "Ok, they're beyond the perimeter, Lacus-san, I'm coming back." Kira said as he started back towards the ORB Base.

Shinn watched as his arch rival left with pure hatred in his heart. _'Why did he get let off that easily? He's our enemy too! Stupid Athrun, if only I could fight Freedom alone, with no one else, and no where to run, he'd be mine!' _he seethed. "Hey Shinn, why don't you take out your anger on the Earth Alliance?" Rey suggested. "Why not?" Shinn said as their battle began.

(A/N: Another long chapter, I know, I guess when I was writing it in my notebook I wasn't limiting myself to only 6 pages like I did near the end, so the next chapter will be long as well, again, thank you to all who reviewed, especially: IX The Melodious Nocturne IX, KC-animeangel, Maryam Khanoom! I hope you guys like this new chapter, chapter 5 is coming right up! He he XD)


	5. Chapter 5: Are These Feelings Real?

**Chapter 5: Are These Feelings Real?**

**Disclaimer: Blah blah blah ya'll now all that.**

**Kira: You know you have to actually say it**

**Me: Then why don't you say it?**

**Kira:….Kiheada does not own me, or any other character in this fic, she only provides the cough relationship cough and part of the plot as her own.**

**Shinn: XD rofl**

"So, were you talking about me?" Cagalli asked as Kira came down from his Gundam. "What?" he asked with a puzzled look. "Were you and Athrun talking about me when you were taking them out of ORB Territory?" she asked again, quietly, sadly. "No." Kira said softly. "Oh, ok then." She said in the same voice.

As she was about to walk away she felt herself being pulled into a strong embrace. "Wh-?" she began and then relaxed against Kira's warm and comforting chest. "It's ok, I'm sure it's not over between you two, in fact, I can just about guarantee it isn't." he said again softly as he hugged her protectively. "Are you sure? We don't really talk anymore, Athrun and I." she said as she began to weep. "Shh, I'm positive." Kira told his twin. "_You can't always be the strong one, there are times when you just have to let go, of everything._"

"Kira-san, Cagalli-san, do you want to get some sleep? It was pretty early when all this began." Lacus asked after they both ended their embrace. "Yeah, I'm pretty tired and have a pounding headache." Kira responded. Cagalli yawned. "Yep, I need my 6 hours of sleep and only got about 4, are you going back to bed, Lacus-sama?" she asked. "No, I was just asking if you two got enough sleep, I'm fine." She said. "Kira, why don't you stay here and rest instead of driving all the way back?" she asked. "Sure, that'll be great." He said.

"Ok, just follow me." Lacus said as she led the way. "Well, g'night ya'll!" Cags called as she headed back to her mansion to get a few more hours of shut-eye. "See ya sis, sleep well, and remember what I told you!" Kira called back. Lacus smiled, _'He's a good brother, older or younger, he is protective and caring of his sister' _she thought. _'But I'm losing him; he's growing more and more distant from me with each passing day. I don't know how much longer I'll have him, how much longer I'll have a protective and caring coordinator who loves me.' _She added with a frown.

"What's the matter?" Kira asked. Of course he was oblivious to Lacus's feelings, but he saw her frown and didn't like it when she frowned. "Nothing, I was just thinking of the war." She lied. Everyone seemed to lie now-a-days, about anything and everything, not seeming to care who it hurt. "Oh." He said. They continued to walk in silence, not knowing what to say, until they reached an unoccupied room.

"You can sleep in here, no one's using it so sleep as long as you like, just make the bed when you leave, please." Lacus told him with her usual cheerful smile. "Ok, thanks, for everything Lacus, you've been so nice to me, even during this harsh war." He said kindly with a charming smile. Lacus blushed, "Your welcome, Kira, it's really nothing, you're the one who has to go out and fight, I should really be thanking you." She said, returning the smile. "I have to protect the ones I love." He said and kissed her on the cheek. "Good night, Lacus-sama, you should get some sleep yourself." He said as he went into the room. "I'll try." Was all she could say before leaving.

Kira sat down on the bed and tried to make clear what his thoughts were at the moment. _'Do I still have feelings for her? Does she even know? I hope not, but she seems so distant.' _He thought. _'I wonder what Shinn is thinking right now, probably about why he didn't get the chance to kill me.' _he almost laughed at the idea. Life was so overrated and dramatic sometimes.

He lay down beneath the covers and drifted off to a dream-filled sleep that lasted for only a few hours.

"Argh!" Shinn shouted as he punched the wall. Zaft had suffered more casualties this time than expected, and basically everyone's Gundam was damaged, even Shinn's. The EA brought in another fleet in the middle of battle and practically stomped all over Zaft until Captain Talia finally decided to call a retreat. _'Darn it! I still didn't even get revenge!' _he thought as his face contorted with anger. _'Well, at least I rescued that girl, Stellar, I think her name is.' _He added.

"Pounding on the wall won't help ya know." Lunamaria Hawke said sarcastically as she came up to Shinn. "So." He growled. She sighed, "You have so much rage and resentment, why can't you just let it go?" she asked. "Let it go? LET IT GO? How can I just let it go after everything's that happened to me Luna?" he yelled at her, tears unsuspectingly forming in his crimson eyes.

"Calm down! Jeez, don't get so over-worked, just relax." She said as she went to rub his shoulders. He moved away before she could touch him and said in a dangerous tone, "Just leave me alone Luna, I'm not in the mood to deal with you right now." "Fine!" she said and walked away looking angry and hurt. All she wanted was for him to like her, but no, he was too involved with getting revenge to take notice of her feelings.

Shinn stormed off in the opposite direction, heading for his room, and wondering why he had to be such a jerk to her all the time, the tears stinging his eyes. Unfortunately, he bumped into Athrun himself. "Get out of my way, Zala!" he said moving to walk past him. "Excuse me? You know, Asuka, I really don't like your attitude towards me." Athrun said rather angrily. He was not a very happy camper, and Shinn was making it worse. "You know what? I don't care!" Shinn yelled and pushed him out of the way. Athrun was just about to punch him when Gilbert Dullindal came up beside him. "Now, now, Athrun, has Shinn been disobeying orders?" he asked stupidly. (I really don't like this guy).

"Yes, actually and it's really ticking me off." Athrun replied through clenched teeth. "Don't let him get to you, that's what he wants. I'll talk to him about respecting you more." Gilbert said, patting Athrun on the shoulder on the shoulder and then walked away. You see, with guys, it was always a big pissing contest to see which one had the biggest dick (sometimes literally O.O!). You know, which one was in control, it was all about dominance. All us girls can do is sit back and eat popcorn, sneakily trying to take over the world while we're at it, he he he.

So it was with Athrun and Shinn. Of course you know that Shinn wanted to always be the dominant one, but Athrun wasn't just gonna sit around and let him. Kira didn't really care because he knew if he ever actually got in a fight with Shinn he'd win, being the Ultimate Coordinator and all.

So, Athrun continued to glare until a certain annoying red-head tapped him on the shoulder, (and no it's not Fllay, she's dead, remember?). "Huh?" Athrun said as he spun around. "Whatcha doin'?" Meyrin asked him, fluttering her eyelashes. "Uh, nothing really." Athrun shrugged. "Are you still mad at Shinn?" she asked. "Yeah, he needs to learn his place." He said angrily. "He's just jealous 'cause you're better, you know that, right?" she said, clearly flirting with him. Athrun blushed, "Uh, I'm not so sure that's all." He said. "Well, it's at least part of his hatred for you." She said bluntly.

Yep, that's Meyrin Hawke, the blunt-and-obviously-in-love-with-Athrun-one. I guess it's safe to say that she foes for –older- guys, eh heh. "Um, yeah, I guess so." Athrun said. "Hey, are you ok?" she asked him. 'yeah, I just need some rest I guess." He smiled and began to walk away. "Sweet dreams! Don't let the bed bugs bite!" she called after him. 'Ok, I won't." he said and chuckled to himself.

'_Why does she like me so much?' _he wondered. But as he wondered about Meyrin, his thoughts wandered to a certain blonde-headed, amber-eyed, tomboy. _'Cagalli' _Athrun sighed. Cagalli would be mad at him for staying with Zaft and not helping them like Kira. _'Man, this is not going well, Kira's once again my enemy and Cagalli is mad 'cause I'm still with Zaft, what am I gonna do?' _he thought.

He didn't get his answer, however, because he happened upon a crying Lunamaria Hawke, sheesh, from one Hawke to the other!

"What's the matter?" he asked her softly. She looked up at him from her sobbing and sniffed. "It's nothing really." She lied weakly. "You can talk to me, ya know." He said sitting beside her. "It's Shinn!" she burst. _'Who would've known?' _he thought sarcastically. "He's so ticked off at the world he doesn't even realize that I have feelings for him! And ever since this Freedom Gundam came on the scene he acts like I don't even exist except to be yelled at!" she sobbed again.

"Yeah, I know the feeling." Athrun said. "But you don't know him and love him like I do." She cried through her hands. "You're right, I don't even like him." He said. "Is there anything I can do to help, maybe?" he asked. "Unless you can make him love me, no." she said. "Yeah, I don't think I can make him love you if he hates my guts, but good luck with that." He said.

"Thanks." She said sarcastically. "I'm sorry, Luna." He said as he got up and left. _'I also can't help because I'm having problems with my own relationship.' _He thought but kept it to himself. You can't make someone love you, that's the lesson you learn only after you've been rejected.

Shinn sat down at his computer, still furious. "I'm gonna get revenge if it's the last thing I do, but first I gotta find a weak spot, 'cause I know you have one!" Shinn said about the Freedom and it's pilot. He started watching the battle events he downloaded onto his computer. It showed him and Freedom fighting the last battle they had. Just then, Rey came in, "What are you doing?" he asked calmly. "Trying to find a weak point for that Freedom and its pilot." Shinn said without taking his eyes off the screen. 'I hear that the pilot is the Ultimate Coordinator, did you know that?" Rey told him. "What? So that's why he's so hard to beat!" Shinn said to himself.

"But he has to have a weak spot, can't he?" he asked. "Of course, everyone has a weak spot, he's not perfect." Rey said and also watched with Shinn. They watched other battles, even from the first war, and memorized Kira's tactics. They soon formed a plan, since Kira never went for the cockpit-always the arms, legs, etc.- it must have meant his intent wasn't to kill, so Shinn would let him battle a few opponents before coming after him. But he wouldn't try to kill him, only tire him so it would be easy to kill him after a while.

In short, Shinn was only going to toy with Kira, Rey said it would take a while, but it was fun and would help Shinn get perfect revenge. Which, coming from Rey, sounded sick and wasn't very good for our hero.

Uh oh, spaghetti-o!

(A/N: He, he, he! A cliffy! My computer isn't being nice to me right now, but I hope you like this chapter! Thanks to everyone who reviewed and who will review! Luv yas! Until next time!)


	6. Chapter 6: Discovered!

**Chapter 6: Discovered!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own, sadly, updates might be slow because I'm reading a lot of fics, he he.**

When he woke up, it was from a nightmare. He was in a battle against Shinn, and Shinn was winning. He was getting destroyed by him, and saw Shinn laughing evilly as he delivered the last blow. He jumped up, heart racing, sweat upon his skin, breathing heavily. He slowly got out of bed and looked at the clock, 10:00. He and Shinn woke up at 3:00, and he didn't get back to bed until about 6:30. _'Great, 4 and ½ hours of sleep after a night like that.' _He thought sarcastically.

He made the bed and put his shirt back on before he left in search of food, Cagalli, and Lacus. He managed to find the 1st thing, and ate in the cafeteria until Lacus finally showed up. "Hey, how long have you been up?" she asked sitting next to him. "About an hour." He said. "Did you get any sleep?" she asked again. "Not really, you?" he asked. "Me neither, I couldn't stop having these weird dreams." She said. "Yeah, me too." He said. They were quiet as Kira nursed a drink and Lacus ate her lunch.

"Hey Kira?" Lacus asked suddenly. "What?" he asked, looking at her. "Um, well, are we still, 'us'?" she asked cautiously. "What do you mean?" he asked, looking confused. "I mean, in the first war we were together, but then, over the past year, we just kind of, went back to being acquaintances or something, we barely talk unless we're in battle." She said. Kira looked down, trying to think what to say. Honestly, he didn't know either, he wanted to think that they were over so that him being with Shinn wouldn't sound so wrong. "I don't know." He said quietly after a long silence.

"Hey guys, did I interrupt something?" Cagalli said as she came in the cafeteria. "No." Kira and Lacus said. "Ok, then, how was you guy's sleep?" she asked, sitting down next to Kira. "Hn, what sleep?" Kira said sarcastically. "I had some weird dreams." Lacus said. 'Yeah, me too, mainly about Athrun and the war." Cags said. "I take it you had bad dreams too?" she asked Kira. "Yup." He said. She sighed. 'We need to end this before our lives get even more screwed up." She said quietly. The other two nodded in agreement. War only tears people apart, it can (and will) never equal peace (unless both sides surrender 'cause they have nothing left to lose.)

"Well, I'm going to check with Andy to see what's going on." Lacus said and left. "So, if the EA and Zaft have stopped their attacks for the day, what are you gonna do?" Cagalli asked Kira. "I dunno, why? Do you wanna hang out or something?" he asked. "Sure, if you don't have any plans, I thankfully don't have anything to do today." She replied. "Cool." He said. Just then, his cell phone rang. "Excuse me." He said as he went into the hall and answered.

"Hello?" he said. "Hey, it's me, Shinn." came the reply. "Oh, hey, what's up?" Kira asked. "Nothing really, but guess what!" Shinn said excitedly. "What?" Kira asked again. "I think I found a way to destroy the Freedom!" Shinn said again excitedly. Kira's eyes went wide. "Um, wow, uh, how exactly?" he managed to get out. "Well, me and Rey were watching battles with me and the Freedom Gundam and the same pilot in the 1st war on my computer. We started to notice that the pilot never goes for the cockpit, there for has no intent to kill, only harm." Shinn began. "Right." Kira said. "And so, Rey told me that since he also backed down today that next time I should wait instead of just rushing into battle with him and then when I do battle him, to just toy with him until he gets tired!" he finished nearly out of breath.

"Wow, that's, uh, pretty good." Kira sweat dropped. 'What's the matter? You sound weird, like you're scared for you life." Shinn said and chuckled as if that was a silly idea. Ha, ha, ha. "Oh, no, I'm fine." Kira lied. Of course he wasn't fine! Shinn just told him how he was planning to kill him! And DIDN'T EVEN KNOW IT! (This is funny). "Ok, hey, did you know that the Freedom pilot is the Ultimate Coordinator? This is perfect! Not only will I get my revenge, but I'll also get to kill the ULTIMATE COORDIANTOR!" Shinn said having a field day.

"Jeez, Shinn, what'd I-I mean he- ever do to you?" Kira blurted and slipped, hoping the younger coordinator didn't hear or notice. Shinn paused for a moment and Kira felt his heart race out of control. "What did you say?" he asked. "Uh, what'd he ever do to you?" Kira said weakly, he knew he was busted, and was literally starting to sweat. There was another pause. "Oh, I thought you said something else." Shinn said sounding suspicious. "Nope, that's what I said, eh heh." Kira said, glad that Shinn didn't want to think he was the Freedom's pilot. "He killed my family while he was in his gundam, and he keeps messing us up when we're trying to fight the EA." Shinn finally said darkly. Kira mentally breathed a sigh of relief. "How did he kill you family?" he asked. "It was a laser shot, I would've been dead too if Mayu hadn't dropped her cell phone and I went to go get it!" Shinn said getting angrier at the memory.

Kira definitely sweat dropped. "Oops,…" he said and then mentally kicked himself. He slipped again! Surely Shinn noticed and couldn't deny it now! "What?" Shinn asked, sounding suspicious again. "Uh, sorry, I dropped something." Kira stammered after trying to think up a good enough excuse so that Shinn wouldn't figure him out. "You know Kira, you're acting really strange, is there something you want to tell me? Do you know the pilot?" Shinn asked, getting angry that Kira would keep a secret from him. "Uhh, errrr, ummmmm." Kira stammered again. _'Crap! What do I say?' _he thought, his heart pounding, his blood racing through his veins. "Besides, even if you do know him, why are you sticking up for him? You'd better tell me now or I'll-", but he was cut off as Kira screamed, "OK, OK IT WAS ME! I'M SOOO SORRY SHINN I DIDN'T MEAN TO! PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!" and gasped, clutching his mouth for the outburst.

Shinn sat stunned on the other line, he heard the pleading, sorrow, and desperation in his lover's voice, and still couldn't seem to believe him. Kira, his Kira, the one he's been sleeping with, was the one he was seeking revenge against, the one he's been saying he wanted to kill, right in front of him! He even slept with him! He just now told him how he was going to kill him. "What, you're, you lied to me?" Shinn said, at first sad but steadily getting angry. Kira was crying, "I'm sorry Shinn, I didn't know I killed your family, I'm only trying to end this war, and I know I shouldn't have lied to you for so long, I kept trying to tell you but I never could, I feel really bad, Shinn, just please, don't be mad and don't kill me!" Kira was pleading.

Cagalli had come out of the cafeteria when she heard Kira screaming and heard his latest confession, looking at the tears flowing down his beautiful face. "Kira, you know Shinn? What, how, why, I don't understand." She said. He looked at her sadly, "Cagalli, I," he was interrupted when Shinn finally found his voice and screamed in his ear: "DON'T KILL YOU? OF COURSE I'M GONNA KILL YOU! HOW COULD YOU YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD?" Kira flinched at the sound of hatred in his voice, _'Great, now he's still gonna kill me, perfect Kira, just freaking perfect! How more messed up could you make this!' _he yelled at himself. Cagalli understood that he needed space to sort this out with Shinn and after hugging him she left and went to talk with Lacus.

"I swear Kira, how could you do this? After everything we've been through you have the nerve to keep such a secret from me, listening to me say how much I wanted to kill you and saying you were a reporter, why didn't you just tell me when I first started saying I wanted revenge against you?" Shinn asked, still angrily, through gritted teeth. "I knew you'd be mad, and I didn't want to lose you, Shinn, I'm sorry I put you through this, I know I'm stupid for keeping it from you, but, I just, I," he couldn't finish, his throat was choking up and his eyes burned. "You what, Kira? I told you I loved you, and I meant it, I slept with you, even took out my anger on you, which now I guess I'm glad I hurt you for what you've done, does that mean anything to you Kira? Toying with someone's feelings and then telling them that what they believed and loved was a lie?" Shinn said, still angry, he wished he could reach through the phone and strangle Kira. He was gripping the phone so hard he thought he might crush it.

"I love you, that's what I was going to say, but I guess you don't care now, and probably think it's another lie, but it's not, it's the truth, and I don't care if you hate me, you should, just know that I'm sorry and will forever grieve for my broken heart." Kira said quietly, about to hang up. "Don't tell me that. If you truly love me then you will let me kill you the next time we meet in battle." Shinn said coldly. Kira said nothing. If Shinn could see his face he would see mortal despair and regret, they were both too young to feel this feeling of heart-break, total, emotional, physical, heart-break. He sighed, closing his eyes. "Tell me, Shinn, how you could be so blind with vengeance and hatred that you could not see the love in my eyes every time I saw you. How could you turn your back on your own love out of pure hatred, and for what? A mistake? A lie? An unknowing event caused by such a cruel war? How can you sit there and accuse me of such an act of killing your family and hate me when I didn't even know, let alone mean it?" Kira asked him.

Shinn was furious. "WHAT? HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT? YOU WERE THE ONE THAT LIED TO ME, YOU KILLED MY FAMILY, WHETHER YOU MEANT IT OR NOT! YOU, YOU, I HATE YOU!" he screamed and suddenly started to cry. Kira gasped. That was it; those were the words he never wanted to hear, especially out of this young boy's mouth, he stood shaking, crying, his face red and his heart broken. "Shinn," he whimpered. Shinn shook his head, trying to remain angry; he didn't like it when he cried, especially not this time. He hated Kira, didn't he? He betrayed him, killed his family, _it was an accident, just another causality of war, you can't blame him_, a voice inside his head told him. _'Yes I can, it was his fault, whether he meant it or not, he lied to me, and hid his true identity, I hate it when people lie to me'_ Shinn thought angrily. _You're lying to yourself, Shinn Asuka, you love him yet you want to kill him? No, you're just saying that because you're being rash, letting your anger take control, can't you hear him crying? Can't you hear his pleading voice calling out to you? You're the cruel one for treating him this way_ the voice said again. "S-stop, I hate you, you killed them, you ruined my life, h-how c-could I love you?" Shinn cried. Kira heard him crying and hated himself for being the cause of the young boy's pain. "Shinn I'm sorry, I never meant to hurt you," he was cut off again as Shinn yelled: "LIAR! I'M STILL GOING TO KILL YOU KIRA YAMATO! I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE SORRY!" and hung up.

Kira was still shaking. What would he do? What _could_ he do? He was going to die at the hands of the one person he truly loved.

He walked into the control room and immediately noticed that all eyes were on him. He walked over to Cagalli and Lacus, still shaking. "What's the matter?" Cagalli asked, concerned. "I have to tell you something." He said as they sat down. "What is it?" she asked again. He sighed. _'This isn't going to be easy, but maybe she can help.' _He thought. "Well, as you heard, I know Shinn Asuka of Zaft," he began. "Wait, how do you know Shinn?" she asked looking very much confused. "I met him at the beach one day, how do you know him?" Kira asked looking suddenly suspicious. "I met him while visiting with Athrun, he hates my guts though." She said. "Well, that explains a few things." He replied.

"But go on," she told him. Lacus was talking with Andy, glancing over at them from time to time. "Ok, um, so, I know him, and I just told him the truth, because he didn't know I was Freedom's pilot, I lied and said I was a reporter, and now he's going to kill me the next time we meet in battle." He told her. "Why are you telling me this though, he always tries to kill you." She said. "Because, me and Shinn were, friends." He chose the word carefully. "And plus he just called me and told me how he was going to kill me, and it's a very good plan." He said. "Ohh, well that's, bad, really, really, bad." She said, taken a-back.

"Yeah, so I don't know what to do, should I go to battle and risk him trying to kill me, knowing full well who I am now? He has an extremely bad temper you know, and I don't want to risk his wrath." Kira said. "Yes, I know." Cagalli said. "So, what should I do?" he asked her, his gleaming eyes pleading for her to give him the perfect solution to hi problem. "Uh, why are you asking me? I'm not the best person for this sort of thing, maybe you should ask Lacus." She told him. "No! I don't want her to know, it'd only break her heart, and that's something I definitely don't want to do again. Besides, you're my sister and I need help, please Cagalli!" he pleaded again. She sighed. "The best thing to do is to just go into battle and do your best, maybe you can talk to him some more, besides," she said and looked deep into his eyes, "Kira, if you truly love each other, you shouldn't be mad just because of a stupid lie and an accident, an accident, that was a casualty of war, something everyone has experienced. He has no right to blame you, and I know that deep down he doesn't mean it when he says he hates you, he's young, and angry and confused, he thinks you were only taking advantage of him and he doesn't like it. I'm sure he'll come around, Kira, if not, we'll order him to be shot down if he makes a move on you." Cagalli told him.

"No, don't do that, if I am destined to die, then it will be at his hands, Cagalli." Kira said, his purple eyes glistening. "Besides, I never said we loved each other, how did you know?" he asked her. "I could tell by the way you talked about him, and plus I sensed something was up." She informed him. "Oh, was I that obvious?" he blushed, embarrassed. "No, not really." She smiled. "Do you think lacus knows anyway?" he asked quietly and the smiled faded. "I don't think so, but she knows something is up, Kira." She said as they saw Lacus glance over at them. He gave a long, exasperating sigh as he put his head down on the table and laid his arms down above his head. "Don't worry, Kira, your secret's safe with me." She said trying to comfort him. He looked up at her and smiled, seeing the sadness in her eyes even though she tried to hide it. "Thanks, Cags, you're a great sister." He said. This time she blushed, "Thanks." She said, "You deserve it." He told her.

(A/N: Eek! I changed the phone call from what I had in the book, I couldn't help it, now the story shall be different thus making it harder to write, but oh well, I'll post different versions of how he found out in the end, but hopefully I didn't just screw up my story, tell me what you think! Flames shall have a warm place in my heart as I am a pyromaniac!)


	7. Chapter 7: Sleeping with the Enemy!

**Chapter 7: Sleeping With The Enemy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own, sadly, but if I could I WOULD! Anyways on with the story, sorry for not updating for a few days, I was busy……eh heh (grounded, kind of).**

_The next day…_

The siren went off practically in his ear. He groaned as his coordinator reflexes made him literally jump out of bed and put on his clothes before dashing down the hall to the hangar. Cagalli stopped him at the entrance. "What about Shinn?" she whispered. He froze and remembered the phone call just the other day, _'Oh crap, what am I gonna do? He's going to kill me for sure!' _he thought and said, "I'll think of something, watch my back though, ok?" "Ok, good luck, and Kira, I love you." She said, tears rimming her eyelids for the umpteenth time this war. "I love you too." He said and kissed her on the cheek. (A brotherly kiss you perverts! Just kidding, no offense to KiraxCagalli fans).

"Strike Freedom, ready for launch!" he called from the cockpit. "Alright Freedom, you're all set, and Kira, be careful, ok?" Andy told him. "I know, I know." Kira smiled and launched. "Ok, since he's not going to attack me right off, that is, if he sticks to his plan, maybe I should try to avoid him." He said to himself. _'I hope he doesn't have a plan B' _he thought and gulped.

Shinn saw him as he launched and it took all his strength to restrain from lunging at him. "Remember the plan." Rey reminded him when he saw Kira as well. "Yeah, yeah, don't worry." Shinn grumbled. Athrun saw Kira go as far away from Shinn as he could and sensed something was up. _'Why is Kira acting so afraid of Shinn?' _he wondered. "Hey Kira, is something wrong? Why are you staying far away from Shinn? I know he's trying to kill you but I thought you had more back-bone than that!" Athrun called to him.

Kira looked very afraid and sad when he said, "You don't understand, Athrun, Shinn's extremely mad at me and knows who I am, I'll explain later but he's seriously going to kill me when he gets the chance." Athrun looked surprised when Kira said this, seeing the pain and sorrow in his friend's eyes that were once so full of happiness and innocence.

Shinn saw that Kira was trying to get as far away from him as possible and smirked, "Ha, I really scared you didn't I Kira? What's the matter, is the ultimate coordinator afraid of such a harmless guy like me?" Shinn teased but said it to himself.

Shinn inched closer to where Kira was fighting with Stellar. "Shinn, what are you doing?" Rey asked, his tone emotionless as always but holding something more. "Nothing, just fighting." Shinn smiled –innocently-. It was then that Shinn saw Kira take down Stellar, her Gundam exploding and with it her innocently sweet personality. Shinn twitched, his eyes wide and full of anger and hatred. "Oh no he just didn't!" he yelled and rushed toward Kira. "Shinn!" Rey yelled as he saw the young boy take off after Kira.

"Did you see that? Remember that girl I rescued? He killed her! How dare he kill her! I can't believe this! HE'S SO FREAKING DEAD!" Shinn screamed and continued to fly towards Kira.

Kira saw him and thought, _'Crap, I'm so dead.' _And tried to get away as fast as he could. Shinn appeared on the screen and his eyes were burning with hate as he said, "That's it, Kira Yamato, I'm going to kill you and enjoy watching you explode into a million pieces!" Kira gulped, his amethyst eyes filled with horror and Shinn was taken aback.

Kira, his lover, the ultimate coordinator, was afraid of him, afraid to DEATH of him, and for what? Shinn shook his head, determined to stay angry and not start to actually think rationally. He killed all the ones he loved; now he shall pay!

Shinn pointed his beam rifle at Freedom's head and blew it off; Kira didn't even try to dodge. Then Kira came to his senses and said in a dark tone, eyes also dark, "Fine, You wanna try to kill me over stupid hatred, I don't care, but Shinn, you don't stand a chance against me." And went into SEED mode (WOOT!). Shinn gasped, he knew he couldn't kill Kira when he was angry and in his SEED mode, but he was sure gonna try!

"Why you little!" Shinn said through clenched teeth. "I'll show you!" he yelled and unleashed his secret weapon: The All-Mighty Weasel Unit of DOOM! For those unfamiliar with the Weasel Unit, it's basically a whole bunch of beam rifles, cannons, rockets, et cetera that are fired all at the same time, easy to eliminate many foes at once or in this case, defeat a very pesky foe for sure, because the rockets are heat-seeking missiles. (O.O!)

"Uh-oh." Kira said and dodged as many as his ultimate coordinator skills let him. However, most of them hit their target, which damaged Kira himself as he was tossed around in his cockpit. _'Man, he's not kidding about this! I have to watch out or I'm dead for sure!' _he thought. "DIE!" Shinn screamed and blasted him again. "NOOOOO!" He heard Kira shriek as most of the blasts made full contact. Kira didn't expect Shinn to break out a Weasel Unit of DOOM, and even in his SEED mode, the UC just couldn't dodge them all.

"NO! Kira!" Cagalli screamed as she saw him get hit. Lacus's eyes were wide with terror, and everyone seemed to stop breathing as the dust cleared away. "Kira!" Athrun yelled and rushed over to the spot. Luckily, Kira managed to eject himself before the blasts hit him, but was now floating in space, unconscious. Athrun picked him up in his Gundam's hand and put him in his cockpit. He had cuts, bruises, and blood all over him from the gushing wounds that surrounded him. Athrun rushed to the ORB fleet and demanded to let him in so he can take Kira in.

"Oh my gosh! Is he alive?" Cagalli asked through tears as she came rushing at Athrun as he set Kira down. "I don't know; get some doctors over here, now!" Athrun told her. "They're on their way." She said shakily. _'Oh Lord, Kira!' _she thought as she saw his wounds. Lacus was right beside her, tears also flooding down her cheeks. This wasn't the first time she's seen him like this, but still, it would have to be a miracle if he survived this again!

"Um, guys, Impulse is requesting that he be let in too." Andy said as the doctors arrived. "WHAT?" All three teens yelled. "No! Don't let him!" Athrun shouted. "Why does he want in? To gloat over his victory?" Cagalli asked. "He says he knows the pilot." Andy said. "Let me talk to him." Cagalli told Lacus. Lacus nodded as Cagalli went on deck and got the head phones.

"What do you want, Shinn?" she yelled angrily at him. Shinn smirked, "So is he dead? I know that's Kira, your beloved brother and the UC, but did you know we knew each other? I bet you didn't!" he said arrogantly, red eyes flashing with anger. "Why you little bastard! What right do you have to do any of this?" Cagalli screamed at him, eyes burning with fire. He looked angry again and noticed that Cagalli had been crying, it was then that it hit him, hard.

He could have just killed the one person he loved.

The one person he took comfort in, and made him feel loved and appreciated.

Now what did he have?

Cagalli watched as the arrogant and smug expression vanished from Shinn's face and was replaced with regret. He was silent as Cagalli said, "I have to go, no you can't come in, and if he dies," she said and gave him the iciest glare full of hatred she could muster and continued, "You will die with him." And disconnected him.

Shinn sat there, starting to breath hard. He didn't know what to do or think anymore, he was confused and now angry at himself. _'What have I done? _He thought.

**A/N: Wahaha, I leave you with a cliffy! He, he, he, don't worry though, Kira's not going to die (spoiler). I just had to end it here, I couldn't resist it, and the whole Weasel Unit I got from Zoids; of DOOM because I'm hyper, he he. PLEASE REVIEW! FLAMES ARE EXCEPTED UNLESS THEY'RE NOT NICE! Lmfao XD**


	8. Chapter 8: Reality Check

**Chapter 8: Reality Check**

**Disclaimer: I still don't own the characters but I own this fic! HA HA! I OWN! Lol, I've been dieing to say that.**

"Shinn, is he dead, did you succeed?" Rey asked, his tone almost bloodthirsty. "I know the pilot, and no, I don't think he's dead." Shinn told him. "What do you mean you know the pilot? You didn't tell me this!" Rey yelled at him. Shinn unconsciously flinched and after a while said weakly, "It was a lie, just a stupid lie, and I tried to kill him." As tears welled up in his eyes, blurring his vision.

"What are talking about?" Rey asked again. Shinn didn't reply and Rey saw the young boy look terrified and depressed. "Shinn, are you ok?" Luna asked cautiously. "No, I'm, n-not." Shinn said taking deep breaths between every word as if he just ran a mile. "You're sounding like a little kid!" Rey shouted, furious. "Leave him alone Rey!" Luna snapped at him. "Shinn, you should go back to the Minerva, you don't look or sound too good." She added to Shinn.

"B-but I h-have to see him, I-I have to s-say s-sorry." Shinn stuttered. "What? No Shinn! Don't you dare!" Rey yelled again. "Shut-up Rey! Can't you see he's about to break-down?" Luna screamed at him, which made him shut-up. Shinn did look like he was about to break down, his eyes were wide and tears were running down his cheeks as he struggled within himself. He started thinking about how Kira lied to him all that time, pretending to love him, but did he really? _'If it's like that then I hope he dies! He definitely deserves it!' _he thought angrily. _'Wait, I shouldn't say that, maybe he just didn't know how to tell me, and I probably scared him because I was always saying I wanted to kill him.' _He thought again. It was like an Angel and a Devil were fighting over what to think. _'NO!' _the Devil said, _'That's what he wants you to think so he can trick you again!' 'But Kira isn't like that!' _the Angel said. _'If he can lie about something as big as this then who knows what he's really like, he could've just been a spy from ORB anyway!' _the Devil said again.

The young, angsty coordinator didn't know what to do, so he did the only thing he knew best. He sided with the Devil. _'If he really loved me he still would've told me!' _he thought. _'I'm gonna talk to him whether Attha likes it or not!' _"Rey, Luna, back me up!" he called, a vicious gleam suddenly in his eyes as he became angry again. "Why? What are you gonna do now, oh Great Shinn Asuka?" Rey asked sarcastically. "Just back me up ok!" Shinn told him fiercely. "Ok." Luna said quietly, she didn't like this, but she didn't want Shinn to get mad at her too. Rey made a face and gave in.

"Attention approaching Zaft units, you are unauthorized to be passing into ORB territory, leave immediately!" Andy told them. _'What's that Impulse pilot up to?' _he asked himself. "I'm not leaving until I speak with Kira, so unless you want Zaft as your enemy as well, LET ME IN!" Shinn yelled. Athrun grabbed the headset from Andy, "Shinn! What do you think you're doing? Get out of here now!" he yelled. "You think you're so special Zala? I'm getting in there whether you like it or not!" Shinn yelled back. "I don't give you permission and I command you all to go back to the Minerva!" Athrun said. "Like I'd listen to you! I don't care if you don't give me permission! I'm going to talk to Kira! Now we can do this the easy way or the hard way, either way you can't stop me!" Shinn told him.

"And we're backing him!" Luna suddenly said, in hopes that Shinn will really notice her this time. "Sorry, Athrun." She murmured and apology. "How many fighters do we have left?" Athrun asked Andy. "Not many, counting myself and Cagalli." He said. Athrun growled. "We can't let him go near Kira or he'll kill him for sure!" Athrun said. "Let me handle it." Lacus's calm voice dulled in comparison to Athrun's yelling. She took the headset from him. "Hello, Shinn, I am Lacus Clyne." She said. "So." He grumbled. "Why do you want to see Kira-san after you tried to kill him? And why should we even let you in?" she asked in a dangerous tone. This was one of those seldom times when Lacus-san gets mean and un-peacefully angry.

"It's none of your business, and besides, if you must know he lied to me about his true identity and led me on to believe he was someone he's not." Shinn said dangerously bitter. "Listen, you can't exactly see him right this second, come back later and you can." She said surprisingly. "What?" Everyone shrieked as their jaws dropped. "Lacus, what are you thinking?" Athrun asked her. "I want to know what's been going on with Kira, besides, the more we deny him the angrier he'll get and it will only cause more bloodshed." She said. Athrun was going to say something but kept his mouth shut for once. "What do you say?" Lacus asked looking serious. "Fine." Shinn said through gritted teeth after a pause. "Thank you, Shinn, I'll see you later then." She said.

"Shinn! Luna! Rey! Athrun! I order you all to get back here this instant!" Talia and Dullindal both shouted. Shinn, Luna, and Rey came back, but Athrun said, "Sorry, Talia-san, I have to stay here." And went to check on Kira and Cagalli. Talia slammed her fists on the desk angrily. Dullindal sighed and shook his head.

"How's he doing?" Athrun asked Cagalli softly when he saw her in the hallway. "He's breathing; the doctors say that if he wasn't the Ultimate Coordinator he'd surely be dead." She told him. "That's better that nothing." He said. "I still can't believe Shinn did that." She said. "Lacus is going to let him see him later." Athrun told her. She spun around and looked at him in the eyes. "SHE WHAT?" She screamed. "I know, talk to her about it, I don't understand how she could do that either." He told her. She sighed.

"Poor Kira. I know why Shinn wants to see him." She confessed. "What? Why?" Athrun asked. "Because Kira lied to him." She said. "How do they even know each other?" he asked again. "They met at the beach, and when Shinn told him he was from Zaft, Kira lied to him because he didn't want to get caught or anything. But they became 'friends' and he never knew how or when to tell him because all Shinn talked about was how he wanted to kill Freedom and its pilot. And then they were talking on the phone and Kira blurted it out, saying he was sorry a hundred times or so, but Shinn still swore that he would kill him." She explained. Athrun was silent for a while.

'_So that's why Shinn's been acting so weird lately, and why he wasn't noticing Luna!' _he thought. "Now I understand." He finally said quietly.

Then the doctors came out and told them Kira was sleeping and not to disturb him. So Cagalli and Athrun didn't stay for long and went back on deck. "He's sleeping." Cags said absently. They were silent for a long time as the battle basically ended and everyone retreated. 'Why does he want to see Kira so badly?" Lacus finally asked. Cagalli explained everything to her but said that Kira and Shinn were just friends. "It seems like Shinn takes friendship very seriously." Lacus said, suspicious that Cagalli was holding something back.

"He doesn't have many friends to begin with, so yes, he does." Athrun covered for Cagalli.

Back at the Minerva Shinn was again angry, but instead of punching the wall, he was with Luna in her room, on her bed. "So what's with you and that Freedom pilot?" she asked, brushing some hair out of his face. He looked away from her and thought about whether he should tell her or not, and decided to just tell her the truth. (Lmfao XD).

"Well, he is-or was- my boyfriend." He said and looked at her to see what she would do. She gasped but said, "I thought something like that was happening, I was beginning to feel like you hated me or something." She told him. "I don't hate you Luna, I didn't even realize you liked me!" he said and smiled at her. _"I'll get him back, then he'll know I'm serious about hating him' _he thought to himself as Luna blushed.

"So, um, I guess you two aren't together anymore huh?" she said. "Yeah, I'm free now." He said and grinned wickedly. She blushed even more. _'But wait, I'm not so sure if I should get involved with him, for one, he has a very bad temper! For two, he could just be using me, either to get that pilot jealous or to just have by his side.' _She thought. And then she looked him over, _"BUT HE'S SO HOT! HOW CAN I SAY NO?' _she asked herself.

Shinn could see that she was fighting herself on whether to be his girlfriend or not and thought, _'She probably thinks I'm just gonna use her to get back at him, but even though that's one reason, I still kinda like her even though I was just with another guy.' _And then said, "Look, Luna, to be honest, I'm not gonna use you to get back at Kira or anything like that, ok? I just feel like I owe you for ignoring you, and I really do like you." He confessed and even surprised himself.

"Really? You mean it?" she asked, blushing a deep red, her eyes wide. "Yes, I'm not gonna lie to you, Luna." He said and they both laughed and Luna hugged Shinn and he held her in his arms. _'I'll never lie to anyone, because it only causes pain.' _He thought bitterly.

**/A/N: O.o uh-oh, what's this between Shinn and Luna? Ha ha, I'm so bad and sooooooooo off script, grrr, I hope this goes well. Thanks to all my devoted reviewers! I Love you all! Please tell me what you think, flames are excepted unless they have something to do with grammar because those just annoy me, but I'd really like your opinion on what should happen between ShinnxKiraxLuna, and just to remind you, this IS a ShinnxKira fic (wink)/**


	9. Chapter 9: Crying

**Chapter 9: Crying**

**Disclaimer: I still do not own, (sad face) but the gayness is from me, he he, and the spontaneous plot twists are also of my design, he he he.**

"He's here." Andy said. "Speaking of the devil." Athrun commented. Cagalli sighed and Lacus watched as Shinn's mobile suit entered their battleship and flew into the hangar. All of the ORB crew stared at him as he got out of the Impulse and went over to where Athrun and Cagalli were waiting. "Shinn" Athrun said flatly. "Athrun, Cagalli" Shinn nodded but kept the look of anger and distrust on his face (laughs so hard I fall out of my chair; scramble back up and continue). "Where is he?" he asked straight out. "Sleeping, we need to talk before you see him anyway." Cagalli said coldly. "It's none of your business!" Shinn snapped. "He's MY brother! Of course it's my business!" she snapped back.

"WELL HE'S MY BOYFRIEND!" Shinn blurted and then blushed slightly as everyone gasped except for Cagalli.

Athrun recovered enough to say "Look, just calm down, I'm sure you can understand why we're not all that reluctant to let you even be in the same room as Kira since you basically tried to kill him!" "I was angry, and I'm still angry, he lied to me about who he really was and toyed with my emotions, besides the fact that he killed my family and Stellar." Shinn replied disturbingly calm. "Yes, well, everything can't go your way, Shinn." Cagalli said nastily.

"C'mon, follow us." Athrun told Shinn before he could yell at her some more and led him on deck where Andy and Lacus-san were. "These are Captain's Lacus Clyne and Andy Waltfeld. You _will_ treat them with respect." Athrun told him. Shinn shot him a dirty look but nodded towards Lacus. "Hello Shinn, nice to meet you in person." She said politely but with a cold look in her eyes, eyeing him in his flight suit.

"Same." He replied dryly. "I'll take care of things here, you guys go and interrogate-I mean ask-this young man what you need to ask him." Andy slipped and grinned at Shinn. Shinn gave him a weird and annoyed look as they went into the interrogation-I mean meeting-room and sat down.

Lacus was at the head, Cagalli-san was next to her, Athrun-kun was across, and Shinn sat unwillingly next to Athrun. "Alright, spill it." Athrun said the moment they sat down. "Why?" Shinn asked. "Because we said so, that's why! You think you can practically kill my brother and not expect to tell us why?" Cagalli blurted. Shinn was once again about to shout back when Lacus interrupted. "That's enough! WE are going to be civilized about this! There's already enough bloodshed out there, we don't need any more fighting!" she said sternly. Everyone settled down and looked ashamed. That's an effect you get when Lacus talks like that, her purity makes us all seem like rotten vermin that doesn't deserve to live. (LIKE JESUS! Sorry…)

"Now, Shinn, please explain why you had so much of a grudge against the Freedom and its pilot, Kira." She said calmly. "Well, to begin with, he lied to me about being the Freedom's pilot even though we were together." Shinn began bluntly, assuming everyone already knew about their gay romance.

Lacus blinked as Cagalli and Athrun held their breath. Her smile vanished and there was an all-knowing and sad look in her eyes. "I see." She said quietly and motioned for him to continue. He hesitated, wondering if she didn't know already and was somehow close to Kira.

"And he killed my family at the beginning of the war." Shinn said quietly. "On purpose?" she asked. "No, but he still did it, it still hurts." He said as a sad look came over his crimson eyes. "And he keeps butting into our battles with EA, thinking he's so perfect…" he said as his eyes turned back to anger and he trailed off. "Sorry." He whispered.

"That's still not a good enough reason to try to kill my brother." Cagalli snapped. "WHAT? WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU WERE IN MY PLACE?" he yelled at her. "Look guys, I agree that Shinn is being rash, but I know how he feels. I joined Zaft in the first war because my mom died on Bloody Valentine." Athrun said before Cagalli could lunge at Shinn.

"So, how exactly did you meet Kira and begin your, 'relationship'?" Lacus asked.

Shinn's face then flushed with embarrassment as he stuttered, "W-well, um, uh, I, err, we met at the beach one day, and, um, became friends, and then we, uh, became more than friends, eh heh." "Tch, I bet you made him be your lover and raped him." Athrun mumbled. (O.O). "It's none of your business, Zala, drop it!" Shinn half-pleaded, half-demanded as his whole face was as red as his eyes.

Cagalli smirked at him as if to say, "Uh huh, keep telling yourself that Shinn, we know ALL about it! HA HA HA!"

"Ok, well, I guess we can all see that this whole thing was a twisted kind of misunderstanding." Lacus said. "Ohhh yeah!" They all said. "Hey, um, did those doctor's say anything about, um, internal bleeding?" Shinn asked cautiously. "No, why?" Cagalli said eyeing him suspiciously.

"Well, it's just, a couple days ago I found Kira's doctor's report and it said that he had some internal bleeding." He confessed, looking genuinely worried. All 3 gasped and were silent, staring at him in mock surprise and shock. Shinn looked down and tried not to look at them.

"Oh my gosh." Cagalli whispered and covered her mouth with her hands. "It seems Kira has a lot of secrets, now doesn't he?" Lacus said absently.

There was a knock on the door. "Come in." Lacus said. A doctor came in. "We have the full results of Kira Yamato's condition." He told them holding an envelope of papers. He eyed Shinn with a look that said, "What are you doing here? I spit on you!" and left so they can look at the report. (He was French).

"Well, there's the internal bleeding, a few broken ribs, major cuts and bruises all over, a slight concussion, but he seems to be healing himself rather quickly." Lacus said reading the report. "Because he's the Ultimate Coordinator." Cagalli said absently. "Total recovery is expected in 3 to 6 weeks?" Athrun said in awe. "Wow." They all said and then looked at the now sad and ashamed young coordinator who did this.

"You're lucky he's the UC, or else he wouldn't be the only one dead." Cagalli said sharply. He averted his eyes and bit his lip, looking like a kid who was getting punished by his parents because he did something bad, which, eh heh, he did.

"Well, at least he hasn't lost his memory nor have any brain damage!" Lacus said fighting back tears, trying so hard to sound grateful. The others looked sympathetic for her. "You're right Lacus, here, let me take you back to your room so you can deal with this without us yelling at each other, ok?" Athrun said gently and led her out of the room.

Shinn covered his face with his hands and started crying softly, the consequences of his actions finally seeping through his tough armor.

Cagalli gave him a mean look but couldn't stay angry at him as he cried out mournfully, "I didn't mean to! I'm sorry!" "That's ok, maybe when he recovers we'll let him beat the crap out of you so you can see how it feels." She sneered.

He looked at her in pure horror. Now the tables were turned. Although he only glimpsed Kira's angry side a few times, he was still scared that he would turn his anger on him, plus, Kira's the UC, who knows how much pain he could inflict if he really wanted to! Shinn shuddered at the thought and gulped. _'I'd deserve it though; after all I did, even though he lied to me.' _ He thought. Cagalli still smirked and walked out brushing against Shinn on her way out.

Suddenly, he burst into a full-out bawl, unable to stop the endless flow of tears that stained his cheeks.

"How's she doing?" Cags asked as she saw Athrun coming back. "Not good, unfortunately." He sighed. "I swear Shinn's gonna pay." She said and looked him straight in the eyes. He pulled her into a hug as she too started to pour her heart out in anguish. "Shh, I'm here, just let it out hon, I'm here." He whispered in comfort.

Kira was sleeping deeply when he was awakened by a nurse. "Sorry, had to make sure you didn't slip into a coma, what with your concussion." She said and blushed. "It's ok." He told her. "It's amazing how you can be alive after that, you must be a coordinator." She said. "Yeah" he said. "Where is everybody?" he asked. "Um, I'm not sure, but that boy who got you in this mess is here! I don't know how they could let him in, but, who knows?" she said.

"Shinn's here?" he asked. "Yeah, you know him?" she asked. "Yeah" he said quietly and closed his eyes. He could feel pain all over even though he was on morphine. _'Well, here we go; hopefully he's not too angry still.' _He thought.

"I'll let you rest, try not to slip into a coma, and if you see a bright light, don't go into it!" she joked playfully and left. He smiled and then started to look around, assessing his damage. _'Dang Shinn, violent much?' _he thought seeing all bruises, cuts, and bandages. He noticed a clipboard on the table next to him and saw a full report. (The doctors gave Lacus and them a copy.).

"I'll be fully healed in 4 and a half weeks for sure, a concussion won't take longer than a week, the ribs will take longer, cuts and bruises scar, " he cut off and sighed. "I don't know what I'm gonna do about the internal bleeding." He said to himself.

There was a knock on the door. "Who is it?" he asked. "It's just me, Cags." Cagalli said. "Oh, come in, sis." He said. When she did he could tell she'd been crying. "You poor thing, I'm so sorry Kira, I should've went out there!" she said. "Cags, if you went out there you'd be lying right next to me, or worse, and you know it." He told her. "Shinn's here." She said. "I know, the nurse told me." He said. "He wants to talk to you." She told him. "Of course, I'm not dead yet." He said bitterly.

"Actually, he's quite sad, not that I pity him or anything, but he's crying right now, or was." She replied. "That's almost worse, because he hates crying and remember how mad he was when he found out I lied to him and then get even more angry at me." He said.

"Do you want me to make him wait until you're recovered enough?" she asked. "No, the more time he has to think about it the angrier he'll get and the more brutal our little 'meeting' will be." He said. He saw her grimace as thoughts entered her head. "Sorry," he smiled weakly. "But, just bring it on." He added.

"What, you want me to bring him in right now?" she asked sarcastically yet serious. "NO! Not that soon!" he said quickly. She giggled and kissed his cheek, "I'm gonna make sure he's not sneaking around out there, ok? Expect Athrun to come in soon." She told him. "Ok." He said. She left quietly and went back to the meeting room.

Shinn had stopped crying and was looking over the report again.

"Hey." She said to get his attention. His head snapped around to meet her gaze. He hastily put the report back and stood up; waiting for her to tell him to either go back to the Minerva or that he could see Kira, secretly hoping the latter. "Um, he's not quite ready to see you yet but he does want to get it over with." She said sounding depressed. He thought about her intentional choice of words before he asked, "How soon?"

"I dunno, but I have to check with the others to see what we're gonna do before then." She said motioning him to follow. _'Oh boy, they'll probably make me stay and watch me like a criminal' _he thought. _'But I am a criminal' _he added. He shook his head and tried to stay behind Cagalli, not wanting to evoke more anger from the tomboyish blonde and having to go back to the Minerva.

She looked behind her to make sure he was following. _'Don't take pity! He almost killed your twin brother!' _she had to remind herself as she saw how sad and depressed he looked walking with his head down. He already lost his family; losing Kira might drive him to insanity. _'he's lost so much, even more than me and Athrun.' _She thought.

He saw her through the corner of his eye and tried not to look angry. _'If I look sad enough maybe they'll go easy on me.' _He thought. _'And maybe Kira will go easy on me too.' _The stray idea ventured into his mind. But he didn't want to think about that again, not now at least. He still had dignity, and she already saw him cry, he didn't want her to see him scared again. Men, they always have their pride, (well, some men) especially this egotistical coordinator, as you've probably already guessed, what with the whole dominance thing.

He already had too much pain on his scarred heart; he didn't need anyone else to give him more heartbreak, especially not Kira Yamato, pilot of the Freedom, Cagalli Yula Attha's UC brother, his lover. He already lied to him, what next? Will he beg for forgiveness, or will he take out his rage on the angst-ridden boy? The latter option didn't sound like the Kira he knew, but then again, the Kira he knew could be a big fake, a lie to play with his emotions. Rey was right, love was for the weak, the pure, and Shinn was neither, at least not anymore, ever since that fateful day.

Shinn Asuka was no longer the pure, innocent, happy teen he had once been.

'_He looks so sad.' _Cagalli thought. She had no idea.


	10. Chapter 10: Questions to Ask

**Chapter 10: Questions to Ask**

**Disclaimer: Blah blah blah, I don't wanna say it, Shinn, you say it!**

**Shinn: She does not own me or Kira because I cannot be owned and I already own Kira, she doesn't own anyone else or the series either, ha ha.**

**Me:….whatever….**

"Hey, there you guys are." Athrun said when they reached the deck. "Is Lacus still in her room?" Cagalli asked. "Yeah, she said it was up to us, Cags, she's not taking all this well." Athrun told her with a seriousness that said Lacus wasn't herself anymore and might not ever be, at least not soon.

She already knew that Kira just didn't love her anymore and was cheating on her with Shinn, and she was beyond shock. I mean, not only was he CHEATING on her, but it was with another guy! AND it was with the enemy! What's gotten into Kira? It certainly couldn't have been love, maybe it was just lust?

That's what she was trying to convince herself, but it still was depressing. It was like him telling her that she wasn't a good enough woman for him so he decided to just go gay! Or was he just bi-sexual and "experimenting" with Shinn?

Both seemed bad to her and made her feel belittled still.

All these thoughts ran through her head in a frenzy as she lay curled upon her bed, crying as softly and quietly as she could without choking. _'Why would he do this to me? This isn't like him!' _she kept thinking. Athrun tried to comfort her, but he couldn't help her. She was lost in her emotions and just needed time to think so she told him that it was up to them to decide what to do with Shinn.

But whatever they do, she _will _talk to him and Kira about this whole mess, just not today, she needed to sort out all the raw emotions raging within her.

Right now, she was too fragile, too vulnerable.

"Well, what should we do? You know him best, you're both for Zaft, you're his superior, you know best." Cagalli let out in an exasperated breath. She was worn and torn, confused and angry, unable to deal with all the feelings pounding in her head. "Well, he won't go back to the Minerva without a fight. But if we keep him here as a prisoner we'll have to watch him like a hawk, and I don't think Capt. Dullindal or Talia will like us staying here in ORB." He said.

"Yeah, EA will surely attack if they know you're being held up here." Cagalli agreed. Shinn coughed and said, "Right here guys." And they glanced at him and continued their conversation. "Well, maybe we should talk with your Captain's, Athrun, and see what they say about this." Andy said.

"Yes, lets." Athrun said. They contacted the Minerva and Captain Gladys answered, looking furious.

"Athrun Zala! What do you think you're doing? And where's Shinn?" she demanded. "I'm sorry, ma'am, I had to help my friend." Athrun said bitterly. Everyone already knew that he and Kira were best friends, but duties were duties and Talia was mad anyway. "And Shinn is here, he wants to see Kira but we don't know what you want him to do." He said.

Shinn stepped into Talia's view and looked at her, his pleading eyes of apology and want at their max.

She sighed. She didn't know the connection between Shinn and Kira except that Shinn hated the pilot, so she didn't even want to try to understand why he suddenly wanted to see him. "Shinn, I don't know what's going on with you, but if you and Athrun just _have _to stay at ORB you will be treated as prisoners of war and must be back within this week, if not, God help you." She said.

They both knew what she meant; if they weren't back within the week then they'd stay prisoners and would no longer be Zaft soldiers.

Shinn looked to Athrun and he nodded. "Yes ma'am." They both said and saluted. Talia shook her head and wished them luck even though she didn't know why exactly they'd need it.

"Well, I guess prisoners you'll be." Andy said looking at the two of them. "I'll tell Kira then." Cagalli said and began to walk away. "No, I'll tell him, I want to talk to him." Athrun said quickly. Shinn glared at him as he walked away. "You can't always get exactly what you want, Shinn, you should know that by now." Cagalli said quietly.. Shinn looked at her. "Yes, I do know." He said darkly. She frowned at him and gave him a steely glare right back at him. "Alright kids, it's been a long day, why don't you get something to eat or something?" Andy stepped in. "Sure." Cagalli said and walked towards the cafeteria. Shinn closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"Hey, don't let those two get under your skin, they're just pissed, I'm sure with time things will settle down. "Andy told him. Shinn thanked him and also headed for the cafeteria.

"So what's up?" Kira asked Athrun as he came in. "Well, we contacted the Minerva and they want us both back within the week." Athrun told him. "Oh." Kira said, downcast. He didn't know if he would be emotionally or physically able to tell Shinn the whole truth in person, on the phone was different, this was too close for comfort. Then again, he wanted it all out, the issue resolved, wanted all the anger and hurt to disappear as quickly as he could.

"Are you ok?" Athrun said and then winced at the stupid-ness of the question.

"Not really, but I'll cope." Kira said.

"So, you and Shinn, I never would've guessed." Athrun said. Kira looked away. _'Now my secrets are all out, great, what a week this has been already!' _He thought and mentally reminded himself to reprimand Cagalli later.

"Yeah" He said quietly. "Look, I'm not mad or even disgusted actually, so don't think that, Kira. I understand, kind of." Athrun said making them both chuckle. "I didn't think you would, it's just, Lacus knows now, doesn't she?" Kira asked. "Yeah" Athrun said. "Now she'll be thinking all kinds of bad things about me, gosh, I need to talk to her!" Kira said.

"I don't think she's ready to talk just yet." Athrun told him. "I bet Shinn is." Kira remarked.

"Oh yeah, and Cags is getting pretty fed up with him." Athrun told him. "I saw that coming a mile away." Kira said. "So, what are you gonna do? When are you going to talk to him?" Athrun asked. "I don't know." Kira sighed. 'Not today, maybe tomorrow or Thursday." He told him. "Ok, I know he really wants to know the truth, why you lied to him about everything. And I want to know too." Athrun said with his emerald gaze fixed on Kira. Kira looked at him in surprise.

'_Oh God, not now, not here!' _he thought. "Athrun, I'm really tired." He said with a pleading look on his face. "Fine, but you will tell me, in fact you might as well tell me, Cags, and Lacus all at the same time because we all want to know." Athrun said and left.

Kira fell back in the bed and covered his face with his hands and tried to breath. _'God, please help me!' _he pleaded with the Lord. Telling Shinn would be one thing, one battle, telling all them would be another. It was too personal for one thing, even though he knew they deserved the truth too.

But, it was his life, if he wanted to screw the enemy then that was his business! He chuckled at that. Thinking about the whole thing, it seemed so twisted and dramatic, like on a soap opera. _'What have I gotten myself into?' _he asked himself.

He fell asleep, finally, before the nurse came back to check on him. Lacus, too, fell asleep, tears drying on her cheeks. Athrun went to his quarters after checking on Cagalli and Shinn and dosed off while reading a book. Cagalli went to bed after she was done eating, and Shinn was escorted to his room and was told not to leave as a soldier was posted outside his door for the rest of the night.

It was quiet in ORB, but with the silence came waiting, waiting for answers, waiting for confrontations.

/**Author's Note: Ok then, sorry about not putting an author's note in the last chapter, I was rushing and wasn't really paying attention to what I was doing, he he he. And I'm no longer giving you guys spoilers because I would like to maintain some kind of mystery to this, so if you want to know if Kira's gonna die by Shinn's hands,…too bad, you'll have to read the next chappys! I know I'm being mean, but I've been spoiling you too much! Well, hope you enjoyed the chapter! Please review and tell me what you think, also, thanks to all my loyal reviewers! I LOVE YOU ALL/**


	11. Chapter 11: Confrontations!

**Chapter 11: Confrontations!**

**Disclaimer: I. Do. Not. Own. Unfortunately. So. Sad.**

When he awoke it took a while to register where he was. He had half-hoped that the whole thing was just a bad dream, a nightmare. But he knew it was only the harshness of reality, the everyday pain of his life. He groaned as he got out of bed and put his feet on the carpet. He looked at the clock, 9:00 a.m., still early, but not that early he decided as he slipped on the shirt he wore underneath the flight suit he had came in.

'_I have to see him before they try to change his mind for him.'_ He thought as he silently slipped out.

He noticed that the guard was sleeping, lucky for him. He went silently down the hall towards the room that Kira was in. he looked around before quietly and gently opening the door.

He poked his head in to make sure that no one else was there. He walked over to the bed upon which his darling Kira slept peacefully.

He looked so angelic, so pure, so undeserving of the wrath that was inflicted upon him. _'Then how could he lie? And why?' _Shinn thought as he noticed the bandages and bruises that was spread out over his lover.

He touched his hand. It twitched slightly at the contact.

He slid his hand up Kira's arm to his cheek and brushed it against his lips. Kira's eyes twitched also and he made a sound.

Shinn stood still, half wanting him to wake, half wanting to just touch Kira before he would be faced with not ever being able to again.

"Shinn" Kira whispered weakly.

Shinn's breath caught and he sat stunned as Kira's amethyst eyes opened to look at him. "What's the matter?" he asked him.

Shinn closed his mouth and pulled his hand away, turning his head. Kira sat up and looked at him. "Shinn." He said again, demanding the younger boy to talk to him.

Shinn looked back to him. "Hi." He said quietly but his eyes showed slight anger. "Hi." Kira smiled and looked at the clock, 9:18. "Just couldn't wait huh?" he asked as the smile was replaced by a scared and sad look. He didn't know what Shinn would do, he could kill him right here and now, and probably would.

"No, not really." Shinn said, still unwilling to show any emotion except a tinge of resentment in his blood-red eyes.

"Look, you know I'm sorry for lying to you," Kira began. "Yes, you've said it a dozen times." Shinn said, his voice dark and cold. He saw the fear and sadness in Kira's eyes and was enjoying the fact that the older UC was actually afraid of him.

"And, I'm sorry for killing your family, I swear I didn't know." Kira said quietly as a tear rolled down his cheek. He saw the younger boy wince and look away, his body shaking with either anger or sadness.

"It's, o-ok," Shinn said as he tried to control his emotions. Shinn wiped Kira's tear away as he sat kneeling beside his bed with his hand on Kira's cheek. Kira closed his eyes and snuggled his head in Shinn's hand. Shinn smiled and actually enjoyed the intimacy of the moment.

There was a knock on the door and Kira's eyes shot open with shock, along with Shinn's. They looked at each other and mouthed, "Oh crap!" as Kira said, "Who is it?" in a sleepy voice. "It's just me, the nurse." The nurse said. "Can I come in?" she added. "Uh, hold on." He said as he lay back down and Shinn tried to find a hiding place. "Ok, sorry." He said as she came in. "Are you ok? I'm surprised you're up!" she said. "I'm fine." He said. "Ok, I was just checking on you." She said and felt his head for a fever. "I'll be back in about half an hour, ok?" she said.

"Ok," he said and she left.

"Whew!" Shinn said as he came out of the closet. (lol!) "That was close!" he said again. "Yeah." Kira said as they chuckled. "So, I guess you're not angry anymore?" Kira ventured. "Kind of, I still want to know the whole reason why you lied, but it can wait." Shinn said with a sly grin.

"I mean, we don't have to talk about it _now_." He continued.

Kira gave him a look that said, "Alright, what are you thinking?" "Oookay," Kira said in an uneasy tone, still giving Shinn that look.

Shinn, still grinning, began to crawl into the bed. "Shinn, wait, we can't." Kira stopped him. "Why not, do you want me to lock the door?" Shinn asked.

"It's just, I don't want anyone to catch us, and um, I'm not really all that healed yet." He chose his words carefully.

Shinn's eyes were full of longing as he rubbed Kira's arm, making him shudder. Kira's eyes were following Shinn's hand as if he expected him to hurt him any second.

Shinn noticed this and suddenly grabbed both of Kira's arms fiercely, making Kira jumped and started laughing.

"Shinn" Kira said sternly, a look of disapproval on his face.

"Sorry, I just miss you, I guess, I want my Kira back." He said, still grinning.

Kira looked away guiltily. "Later, ok?" he told him. "Ok" Shinn murmured. "You'd better get back before you're caught." Kira said.

"Yeah, um, I love you." Shinn said quickly and left before Kira could respond.

"I love you too, Shinn." He said, even though he knew Shinn couldn't hear him.

Out in the hall, Shinn was struggling to keep himself stable. The need burned within him, wanting, longing, for what he knew he couldn't have. He knew why Kira was so edgy and uncertain around him, he understood why they couldn't. But he just wanted to escape, to let go of all emotion except for the lust he felt towards the UC.

He loved him so much, but he didn't know if Kira loved him back. His tears stung his eyes and he walked faster until he reached his room.

"_Later, ok?" _he remembered his words. How long will "Later" be though? He didn't know if he could last that long, with the feeling in his chest growing impatient.

He wanted to lose himself in Kira, like he used to, he wanted to set aside all anger and just drift off to the little piece of heaven he and Kira often visited.

He knew it was wrong to think these things about another guy, he always knew, but he didn't care. What's right isn't always what the heart wants, sometimes you just can't help but fall in love, even if it's against the laws of nature.

Shinn knew he could still be bi-sexual, Luna still caught his eye sometimes, especially when she wore that really short skirt, and plus he had a crush on Stellar, even though now she's dead.

But he knew that he couldn't wait forever, whether Kira liked it or not.

Shinn grinned mischievously at that thought, but quickly shook his head, he definitely shouldn't think _those _thoughts, just because Kira was a pushover against Shinn, he was still the Ultimate Coordinator, and plus, Cagalli, Athrun, and Lacus would be always watching for him to make a mistake.

He fell across the bed and closed his eyes. He then realized something: He didn't have Mayu's cell phone with him. _'Darn it!' _he cursed and yelled into the pillow.

His little sister's pink cell phone was his way of escape when Kira wasn't there. Now he had neither, and the thought of how his family was killed brought new meaning when now he finally knows who the killer really is.

It was ironically bitter that the one person he trusted the most and really loved had actually been the one person he hated the most and wanted to brutally murder. _'And I almost did kill Kira.' _He thought.

It brought more tears to his already blurring eyes. The confusion had now left him numb, raw, and vulnerable.

He felt a new emptiness inside and just wanted someone to hold him and tell him that this was all a bad dream.

But he could have neither of those comforts. He still didn't know whether to just let go of his hatred and forgive Kira, or still be mad at him. He almost wanted to just give up and let go, after all, it was an accident, right?

Kira could've never known that the shot meant for another Gundam would miss and instead kill Shinn's parents and little sister.

But half of him still felt angry and resentful, thirsty for revenge and blood.

He hated fate and destiny, if Mayu wouldn't have dropped her cell phone, making Shinn go get it, he'd be dead too, and no one would probably even know that the Asuka family had been killed.

'_Why did I have to live? Why me? Why not Mayu?' _the questions often entered his mind.

Luna had always said that the reason he lived was so he could try to stop the war. Rey never even answered him. Shinn just laughed and waved Luna's idea off.

'_Me? A hero? Yeah right!' _he thought. He laughed about it. What would she say now? Would she still think that he was destined to be a hero?

He doubted it even more now. He doubted just about everything now.

His life always seemed to take turns for the worst. All the twists made his sides ache. Emotionally, he was wore thin, an empty hole just waiting to be filled.

But with what?

He didn't know. He thought about ending his life. Who would even care anyway?

Luna would. Kira might. Rey would have no emotion at all.

It would be a small funeral, basically made up of the Minerva crew.

And then he would be forgotten, along with all the other lost souls that were taken because of the war.

Rusty, Nicol, Tolle, Fllay, Stellar, Mayu, his parents, Lenore Zala, Mwu La Flaga, Hiene, Miguel, he would meet up with all of them and share his scars.

He would be with his family and Stellar, what more did he want?

Kira.

The name floated through his mind carelessly. Did he really love Shinn? Or was it all a game? A trap? Like what Fllay did to Kira in the first war.

Was it manipulation he learned from her? Or was it not-so-honest love? Did he not tell Shinn who he was until that one day to protect him, or to deceive him?

Those answers would come soon, from Kira himself.

**/Author's Note: He he he, another cliffy! Hoped you guys liked this chapter, I know it had some….-gross- moments, just don't ask…anyways, please review! And also thanks to all who reviewed the last chapter and to all my faithful reviewers who were with me from the beginning! I hope this fic is what you hoped and wanted! Peace out everyone/**


	12. Chapter 12: Undeserving of Your Love

**Chapter 12: Undeserving of Your Love**

**Disclaimer: (sigh) Do I HAVE to say it?**

**Kira: (cough) Uhh, yeah**

**Me: Then YOU say it this time, please! (Puppy dog face)**

**Kira: First off, that's my face (puppy dog face that's cuter than mine) and second: Kiheada does not own me, or any other character from Gundam Seed DESTINY even though she wants to, the plot for the series is not hers, and the original idea of making me and Shinn gay isn't hers but this fanfic is so NO STEALING OR I'LL SICK SHINN ON YOU!**

**Shinn: (grins evilly) he he he (little evil chuckles)**

_(Cough, cough) I seem to be hyper today…….. ON WITH THE CHAPPY!_

"You're finally up I see." Athrun said as Cagalli came into the cafeteria for breakfast.

"Oh shut-up, Athrun, you know I'm not a morning person!" she growled. It was 12:15 and so far no one has attacked, yet.

Athrun grinned at her and laughed as she gave him a disgusted look and rolled her eyes, mouthing the words, "I hate you". Of course she was only joking.

Shinn was in there eating silently. He fell back asleep and woke up at 11:30, deciding to eat something and let Athrun and Cagalli acknowledge that he still wanted to talk with Kira.

Andy was drinking coffee and taking the whole scene in while reading the newspaper, the funnies, of course.

"So, what's on the agenda for today kids?" he asked. "Well, if the EA and/or Zaft don't decide to attack we should try to get the Freedom repaired and restock on supplies." Cagalli said.

Shinn eyed her out of the corner of his eye. "And see what Kira has to say about Shinn." She added as she noticed him giving her an evil glare. There was something about him that scared her sometimes. The lust for revenge against her brother, only to find that he's his secret lover, brought a deeper red to his already crimson eyes.

She didn't exactly know what to say or think about her brother being gay. Athrun insisted that he couldn't be COMPLETELY gay, at least bi. She still didn't know though, she couldn't see her Kira with Shinn.

But there it was, clear as day, unfortunately for them. Their secrets were exposed unwillingly by unfortunate and fatal circumstances.

She thought it was ironic, and thought about how much she hated irony. The world could go on a lot easier without the torment of irony. But then again, some lessons had to be learned through irony, however painful it may be.

Maybe that's what this was, a lesson to be learned. But for who? And for what? She might never get those answers. She only wished that reality wouldn't try to wake her up with bitter irony like this.

She only hoped that Athrun would stay true to her and not lie to her like Kira lied to Shinn. She kind of understood why he lied, but she knew that Shinn didn't, and that he wanted to know, and he would, whether they let him or not. _'He probably already confronted Kira in the night or early morning'_ she thought to herself.

Man that girl had good hunches! Or was it just a twin thing?

"I still think it's too soon, I mean, he got hurt pretty bad, he probably won't be feeling up to it today." Athrun commented. Shinn smirked and thought, _'If only you knew,' _"End of the week, tch!" he grumbled to himself.

Shinn snickered at that. Even though he despised Athrun Zala, the boy had a sense of humor, sometimes, and they still shared some opinions and ideas.

"I know, that's so bogus!" Cagalli responded. They didn't know to which statement she responded to, but thought it was the 2nd.

'_Well, I guess we all think that Captain Talia was out of her mind when she gave me and Athrun less that a week, but it's because of the war that she doesn't want us to stay away for long, stupid war, I wish it was over already!' _Shinn thought.

"You're being awfully quiet, Shinn." Athrun said, glancing over at the younger boy. "Huh? Oh, yeah." He said quietly. He was just sitting there now, having already dumped his tray. He was waiting for orders, basically.

Andy looked up from his funnies as everyone fell into an awkward silence. He cleared his throat before saying, "Well, I'll contact the OTB Supply Base so we can get all that started." And folded up the newspaper, laying it on the table, and left.

"I'll go make a list on what we need and check on Lacus-san. You guys just sit tight for a while, ok?" Cagalli said. They nodded their heads in agreement.

Cagalli put her tray up and began to take inventory. There was a clipboard with everything on the ship, a very long list that would keep her busy while checking to see what all they still had.

Lacus still hadn't come out of her room. She didn't know what to say when she went to go check on her. Maybe she was just talking to Kira; or maybe she just skipped breakfast and was talking with the crew on deck or in the hangar.

'_She took the news pretty hard, maybe she just needs some time to figure things out in her head and set her emotions straight.' _She thought.

Athrun wondered what Shinn was thinking, sitting there quietly. He wondered what he'd do and say to Kira when he went to "talk" with him. _'They can't be totally gay, it's just not possible, not Kira, not Shinn. Besides, Kira was with Lacus, and Shinn had that thing with that Stellar girl, and Luna was in love with him.' _Athrun thought. _'Then again, it's probably why he ignores her and pays no attention to her, he usually just hangs out with Rey, sometimes Luna. It would seem awkward if I just straight out asked him, maybe I can start a conversation and ask him that way.' _He thought again.

You see, Athrun isn't blunt; he eases people into conversations and brings up the subject casually to get information. Bluntness just wouldn't work with Shinn this time, he saw the way he reacted when Lacus was asking him questions about it, and plus, he and Shinn weren't exactly buddy-buddy, so it would take strategy to get him to talk about it.

He cleared his throat, "So, uh, how long have you and Kira known each other?" he asked. "About 3 months." Shinn replied.

Athrun choked on his drink and started coughing. "3 months?" he exclaimed between coughs.

Shinn looked surprised at Athrun's coughing fit. "Uh, yeah, why?" he asked. "That's kind of a short time don't you think?" Athrun asked.

Shinn looked confused and then blushed red. "O-oh, uh, I haven't really thought about it." He said. Athrun gave him a weird look. "No! I mean I haven't thought about how long or short it's been that we've known each other, it seems like a long time to me though." Shinn said quickly.

"I was about to say," Athrun said. Shinn looked away. They were both still wearing their suits, having nothing really to change into. (Hint, hint).

Shinn always thought that Athrun's suit made him look like he had man-boobs. He laughed at that now, remembering all the times that he and Rey secretly made fun of him that way. "What?" Athrun asked. "Nothing." Shinn shook his head, still laughing as he put his head down on the table.

Athrun looked down at his suit and finally realized what was so funny. "Oh, shut-up! It looks the same on you!" he said, making Shinn laugh harder.

"You know, I remember one time when Luna and Meyrin were really wired, they kept talking about how tight your suit was and other, disturbing stuff," he said, choosing the word carefully.

The two girls were clearly high or something, but they kept talking about how "Tight" Shinn's flight suit was and saying what they wanted to "do to him" in the suit, if you get my drift. (EW, sickos! lol) Athrun could only try to ignore them with a disgusted look on his face. This time Shinn coughed. "Really?" he asked. "Yeah, it was kind of gross and I finally had to leave the room after a while." Athrun said. He laughed as Shinn said, "YUCK!" and shuddered.

They looked at each other for a moment and then started laughing.

"Ok, we're all set, they're on their way for the Freedom Gundam, and Cagalli needs to hurry up on the inventory check." Andy said as he came in. "Cool." The boys said. "Hey, I'll go check on Kira; the nurse is probably driving him crazy." Athrun said. "Ok." Shinn said. He watched as Athrun left and thought how tight _his _suit was, but quickly tried to think of something else, not wanting to think about Athrun that way.

'_UGH! Why do I keep thinking all these weird and gross thoughts?" _He asked himself.

There was a knock on the door. "Come in." Kira said wearily. He sighed in relief as he saw Athrun come in. "The nurse drive you crazy yet?" he asked. "Almost." Kira replied.

"Hey, how are you feeling?" Athrun asked. "Numb" Kira responded. They laughed. "Really? Or was that sarcasm? I would've never known it from you, Kira." Athrun chuckled. "No, really, they got me loaded with morphine and other drugs to make me numb. It feels good actually." Kira also chuckled. "I bet, so, you think you're up to talking to Shinn?" Athrun asked.

Kira bit back saying he already saw the other boy and said instead, "I guess, is he getting impatient and driving you crazy?" Kira asked. "Not really, actually, we were just talking." Athrun told him.

"Oh, I'm ready though, surprisingly." Kira said thinking about earlier that morning.

"Ok, I'll go get him, ORB Supplies are gonna be coming in to repair the Freedom and stock up on inventory." Athrun said as he went to leave. "Good." Kira said.

Athrun saw Shinn looking out the window in the hall way. "He's ready, and numb." Athrun told him. "Numb?" Shinn questioned. "Yeah, they got him loaded on drugs so he's basically numb, and a bit light headed." Athrun chuckled.

"Ok, cool, um, if the EA attacks tell me, ok?" Shinn said. "Yeah" Athrun said and watched as Shinn went towards Kira's room.

He knocked first and poked his head in; Kira was sitting up reading the newspaper.

"Hey." Shinn said. "Hey." Kira said as he looked up from the Daily News. "Aren't you a reporter for the Daily News?" Shinn asked, smirking.

Kira looked at him sheepishly and set the newspaper aside. "Sorry, I shouldn't have said that, I just couldn't let you know I was with ORB, I mean, you were with Zaft and I didn't even know you!" Kira told him.

"You could've told me the truth later on, when you did know me." Shinn said, crossing his arms. "Well, yeah but then you kept going on about how you hated me and wanted to kill me." Kira said. "Well, now we know, and so does everybody else, unfortunately." Shinn sighed.

"You started it." Kira said childishly. "Actually, you did, remember?" Shinn told him. "So." Kira said and stuck his tongue out. They laughed.

"You're still mad at me, aren't you?" Kira asked looking into Shinn's crimson eyes.

"Yeah, I can't just let it go though, I mean, my parents and Mayu are dead because of you. I can't just wave it off because I know you and," he cut off and looked away, a hint of red creeping up his cheeks.

"And what?" Kira asked, even though he knew what the younger boy would say.

"Uh, nothing." Shinn said quietly. "When you left this morning you said you still loved me." Kira said softly. "Yes, I did." Shinn said, still quiet.

"You left before I could tell you I loved you back." Kira told him, surprising him.

He looked at him with wide eyes. "I thought you didn't love me. I thought everything was just a lie." He said.

"What? No! The only thing I lied about was being a reporter and I didn't tell you I was Freedom's pilot until that day on the phone!" Kira said.

"I thought it was all just fake, like you were a spy from ORB or something." Shinn said quietly, barely audible, ashamed. He looked away from the pure and innocent coordinator in front of him and thought of how impure and un-innocent he was.

'_I can't believe myself! What was I thinking? Was it because I was angry? Or was it because I'm jealous?' _he thought. _'Either way I have no right to be in love with him; he's too good for me.' _He thought again sadly.

"What's the matter?" Kira asked him, noticing the sad and ashamed look on his face, in his eyes.

"N-nothing, um, I should go." Shinn said and turned to leave, tears brimming his eyelids.

"Wait! What do you mean?" Kira asked. "I'm not right for you, Kira; you deserve someone better, like Lacus." Shinn said, holding on to the door handle, voice almost cracking as a lone tear slid down his cheek.

"What? Shinn, that's not true, I was the one that lied to you! It's not your fault!" Kira pleaded as the younger coordinator opened the door.

"I'm sorry Kira, for everything I've done to you, I'm sorry." He whispered and left.

**/Author's Note: Awww, so sad I know! The next chapter will be pretty funny and again some sad stuff, this genre should be angst because of all the hate and the sorrow and the pain and…yes I'm getting carried away again, well, thanks to all my faithful reviewers, I hope I haven't lost anyone! And to make sure I haven't, I won't update this story until I get at least 4 reviews! Wahaha! Sorry if you do not like but the reviews have been lacking and I don't want anyone to lose interest, if you have, or if you'd like to give me a piece of your mind a.k.a constructive criticism, go ahead/**


	13. Chapter 13: A Disturbed Lacus

**Chapter 13: A Disturbed Lacus**

**Disclaimer: I still do not own much to my disappointment! But the plot twists I have to say wouldn't be there without my twisted mind, so ENJOY THE CRAZINESS!**

_- Thanks to all who reviewed, I LOVE YOU ALL! Ok, the past few chapters have been full of angst and sadness, even though I threw in some funny stuff here and there, but this chapter is going to be hilarious, with a little angst and bitterness, but it will clear things up about Lacus's behavior and all, so please enjoy and again thank you to all who reviewed and made me feel as though people actually read my stuff and liked it! gasps on with the Chapter…-_

Kira sat there, tears brimming his eyes. _'What have I done? I have to get him back!' _he thought as he was about to jump up, but then the pain reminded him that he couldn't get up, and he started to cry with his head in his hands.

Shinn slid down the door, tears flowing yet again down his cheeks. This was the third time he cried in ORB.

Was it a sign? Or were the memories just too deep to NOT cry? He didn't care anymore, he just wanted Mayu's phone and to be alone.

But he didn't get either of those because Athrun walked up to him and knelt down. 'Hey, are you ok?" he asked comfortingly. "Just leave me alone Athrun." Shinn choked.

"Look, I'm sorry for being a jerk to you ok? I was just angry and confused, like all of us. I'm sorry, Shinn." Athrun said softly.

Shinn looked into Athrun's emerald eyes and whispered, "It's ok, I'm the jerk, I should head back to the Minerva."

"Actually, Lacus wants to talk to you and Kira, she says it's important." He said.

"Hey guys, what's going on?" Cagalli asked Athrun and Shinn as she saw them sitting against Kira's door, Shinn's face red and tear-stained. "Um, nothing." Athrun nervously smiled.

"Ok then, um, Lacus wants to talk to Shinn, like, now, so um, yeah." She stammered. "See, told ya." Athrun said quickly as he half-smirked at Shinn, patted him on the back, and stood up. Shinn sighed and wiped his eyes as he stood up. Cagalli then got struck with the "Shinn looks so sexy in his tight flight suit!" syndrome that Luna and probably Kira had as well. (FINALLY! Lol, see, funny!)

She blushed slightly and turned to lead the way. "Hey, good luck dude!" Athrun called. Shinn turned to give him a dead-panned glare and Athrun shrugged a "What?"

Shinn shook his head and turned back around to follow Cagalli.

"I have to warn you though," she began. "Why?" Shinn asked. "Lacus-san isn't exactly herself right now, she's actually being quite rash, I got her to calm down a bit, but she may be, um, blunt, I should say." She told him. "Oh, great, just what I need." He said sarcastically.

Cagalli turned around and gave him a mean look.

"What? I'm sorry, ok? I'm just really stressed, and confused, and angry right now!" he told her.

"Yeah, so am I." she said coldly.

He mentally kicked himself and looked away. Cagalli turned back to lead him to the waiting Lacus.

She knocked and Lacus muttered a "Come in." as they both went in.

She had definitely been crying, it was evident on her red, puffy face. Cagalli had never seen Lacus so sad and depressed, even through both wars.

"Just call when you're done talking ok?" Cagalli said quietly, Lacus nodded and Cagalli left Shinn.

Lacus motioned for Shinn to sit down at her desk and she sat across on her bed. "I'm going straight to the point here, this whole thing has taken its toll on me, along with this un-needed war." She began.

"I understand." He said quietly.

"Do you really?" she asked. "Do you know what all of us are thinking and feeling in light of this news of you and Kira? With Kira injured and a raging war with unknown enemies and friends and lovers fighting each other? Do you understand it yourself?"

He looked away and down at his hands. "No, not exactly." He finally said.

She sighed. "So how long has this been going on, between you and Kira?" she asked in a surprisingly calm voice.

Shinn remembered the same question by Athrun and their talk afterwards, "Three months, not including these past few days." He said, still quietly.

Lacus's eyes went wide, "Three months? THREE MONTHS?" she exclaimed.

Shinn flinched, "Yes ma'am." He said, not meeting her gaze. "Does that include the time you two met on the beach?" she asked.

"Oh, uh, no, actually, that would be about four months since we met that we've known each other." He told her.

"Oh," she said. "So, were you both gay before you met?" she asked bluntly.

"Um, no." he said and blushed in embarrassment. "Are you both completely gay now or just bi-sexual?" she asked again. "Um, I think we're both bi." He said.

"Well, that's good, because you can at least go back to being straight if this doesn't work out." She stated, emphasizing that that's what she wants to happen and that they're just "experimenting" and would come to their senses soon.

"Possibly." He said, thinking about Luna. "I guess this is pretty new to you huh?" he asked her. "Not really, me, Kira, Athrun, and Cags know two guys from the first war who are bi-sexual with each other while one is cheating on a girl." She told him nonchalantly.

"Really? Who?" he asked curiously.

"Um, Yzak Joule and Dearka Ethlemen (1)." She said cautiously. "Seriously? No way! I thought Dearka was just with that Mirallia girl he always talks about." Shinn said in amazement.

'_So we're not the only ones.' _He thought. "Yeah, it wasn't so surprising though," she said. "Oh, well, I know this is pretty surprising huh? Never would've expected it." He commented.

"Oh yes, not expected at all, I guess that's why it's effecting us so much." Lacus said.

"I'm sorry." He said quietly, looking down; ashamed.

"You really shouldn't be, you can't help who you fall in love with." She said absently.

"Tell me about it." He said. There was a moment of silence before Lacus whispered, "Do you think he still loves me? Even though he's cheating on me with you, do you think he thinks about me? Did he ever even talk about me?"

He looked at her in surprise. "Kira? He didn't really tell me about you, I only just found out that you two were together when I got here." "He seems to keep all of his secrets to himself, he's changed a lot in this war." She said quietly.

"I'm sorry it had to be this way, if I knew, about you two and him being Freedom's pilot before I got involved with him, none of this would've happened." Shinn said softly.

"You're right." She said and looked into his crimson eyes.

"He'd be dead."

He opened his mouth to say something when Athrun burst in, "We're being attacked by the EA!" he said.

Shinn got up quickly with Lacus and she nodded to let him leave.

"Will we fight with ORB?" Shinn asked. "We have to, Kira, Andy, Cagalli, and a few ORB soldiers are the only people able to pilot a Gundam." Athrun told him.

"What about Lacus?" Shinn asked stupidly. "She wouldn't go into battle, besides, she has to stay here and command the base." Athrun said.

They ran to the hangar and found Cagalli yelling at Andy, "We're the only one's left! I have to go! Lacus can stay here!" "We can't risk you getting killed out there!" Andy yelled back.

"I've fought before! Besides I'll do fine!" Cagalli glared at him. There was an anime spark of lightning between their eyes until Athrun spoke up.

"Um, are we gonna fight or what?" he asked.

"Fight of course!" Cagalli said and stormed off to a Skygrasper. Andy gave Athrun a look and Athrun shrugged and headed for his Gundam.

Shinn went to the Impulse and felt Andy's stare at his back as he climbed in.

They launched into the battlefield and Shinn was immediately attacked by Sting and Auel, who blamed Shinn for Stellar's death.

"DIE!" they both yelled. Shinn fought back the best he could but he was extremely tired and out-matched and they blasted his Gundam's arm and leg off.

He lost his saber and was running out of ammunition. "Athrun help!" he called.

"Sorry, got my hands full." Athrun replied coldly, suddenly back to being angry that his best friend was almost killed in battle by the very same person he called comrade.

"Well someone help me!" he cried out, just then he got blasted by Sting unexpectedly. "Ahhh!" Shinn screamed as his right arm smashed into something and the bone stuck out, blood spewing everywhere.

Unfortunately, like all coordinators have weaknesses; his right arm was his weakness.

He looked at it for half a second and started screeching like a banshee. "AHHHHHHHHHH! MY ARM! MY ARM!" Athrun blasted Sting and called to Cagalli. "I have to take him to the infirmary!"

"Why? It's just a broken arm!" Cagalli spat viciously. "That's his coordinator weakness! He's in shock and he'll die of blood loss quickly if we don't stop the bleeding! And besides, Dullindal would kill me if I let Shinn die out there just because I was pissed he tried to kill my best friend!" he told her and dragged Shinn's Gundam back to the base.

The doctor's hesitated as Athrun pulled the screeching Shinn out of his cockpit. "Hurry! It's his coordinator weakness, he's in shock." Athrun told them, and they reluctantly decided that it wouldn't be worth it to let this young boy die just out of spite.

They had five guys holding Shinn down as they injected him with a calming medicine and slipped his helmet off. Athrun jumped back into his Gundam and went back out onto the battlefield with Cagalli.

Now, the way (I think) coordinator weaknesses work is, once the weakness is activated (like when Shinn's arm was broken) it send shock-waves of pain throughout the entire body equal to the pain of the weak-point itself.

So basically Shinn's ENTIRE body felt exactly like it was broken like his poor arm, causing immense pain and sending him into shock, increasing his blood pressure and heart rate. Not to mention all the blood spewing out.

In short, Shinn was in so much pain it was basically the same as Kira's pain when he first got out of his Gundam when Shinn almost killed him.

Karma and irony at work causes much pain indeed, doesn't it?

They rushed him into the infirmary room and tried to control the bleeding and increased heart and blood pressure.

Kira looked on in shock as he knew exactly what was happening, having accidentally twisted Shinn's right arm making him cry out in pain and not trust him for a couple days.

He saw some color drain from Shinn's cheeks and the heart monitor race out of control.

"His heart's gonna blow! Slow down that heart rate now!" the head surgeon commanded.

Kira looked on, wanting badly to rush to Shinn's side and pleading with God that he would allow Shinn to live.

Just then the monitor made that dreadful long beep, the green line stretching across the screen.

"NO! SHINN!" Kira yelled. A doctor tried to calm him down when suddenly Shinn's heart rate picked up and the heart monitor went at normal speed. _Beep…Beep…Beep._

Shinn flickered open his eyes.

"What happened?" he asked, his voice cracking.

"He's alive!" the doctor's gasped. "Can you remember anything?" A nurse asked.

"Only pain." He said. Kira winced. He knew he meant the pain of his arm, but it was also much deeper than that.

"He needs rest." The surgeon said and they injected him with sleeping medicine before he whispered, "Kira"

**-Author's Note: Well, at least it's not a cliffy, right? Sorry, but I must work on some of my others stories right now and plus I'm beta-ing Infinite Sky, so this will be the last update today, I would've posted this yesterday but mom kicked me off the computer because I had to clean my room and eat dinner, he he. (1) Is that how you spell Dearka's last name? I wasn't sure and it looks kind of weird. Well, thanks to all my loyal reviewers, hope you like! I LOVE YOU ALL AS I HAVE SAID BEFORE!-**


	14. Chapter 14: It Hurts

**Chapter 14: "It Hurts"**

**Disclaimer: I do not own and that bites hard, but the whole Shinn's-right-arm-is-his-coordinator-weakness-thing was made up by me, just to let you know, because I didn't know if coordinator's actually HAD a weakness so I just made that up, eh heh…..**

_A little AthrunxKira fluff will be in this chapter as requested by athrunxoverxkira_

* * *

Kira (And the doctors) let out a sigh of relief.

"Well, this is quite strange, eh? You in the infirmary because of him, and now he's in here too! Are you sure you two can get along or do you want us to move him to a different room?" the head surgeon (Who was the French guy, hint hint) said to Kira.

"No, he's ok." Kira replied.

"You were worried about him, why?" The doctor asked. Kira hesitated and then confessed, "Because he found out who I really was on the phone only a few days before the battle, and he was angry, and he doesn't really think straight when he's angry, ya know? And plus, I'm responsible for the death of his family, that's the whole reason he wanted to kill me in the first place, the fact that we actually knew each other and he didn't even know it hurt his pride, I guess."

"Well, since he's calm now and asleep, we can start on his arm, but, I no understand why broken arm hurt him so much, do you know?" the doctor asked again.

"Yeah, coordinators have weaknesses, Shinn's right arm is his, and since it got broken like that it sent shockwaves throughout his entire body, making everything feel as if it were broken like his arm." Kira explained.

"Oh, I see." The doctor said and they began to fix Shinn's arm. Kira watched and was also treated by the nurse.

"You're a very strong young man, to be recovering so quickly!" the nurse told him. "Will he recover quickly too?" she asked.

"I don't know," Kira said. "Oh, it must seem weird, the one who put you here is lying right next to you for the same reason!" she laughed.

"Yeah, it'll be weird, but maybe it's for the better." He said.

"Tch, if he gives you any problems just call for me ok Hun?" she told him. "Ok," he said and she left with a smile on her lips.

Athrun sighed as he and Cagalli walked down the hall. The battle was over, for now, the Earth Alliance was definitely taking advantage of ORB's injured state, but luckily Zaft was on their side for now. Capt. Gladys had reminded him about coming back and also yelled at him for letting Shinn get injured so badly, and told him that they both would get punished when they came back.

* * *

"Well you're just saving everybody now aren't you?" Cagalli joked. 

"Well, hopefully it won't have to be you next time, it just goes to show how dangerous it van be out there, and why me and Kira don't want you out there." He told her.

"I did well though! Barely a scratch on the Skygrasper!" she retorted.

"You were lucky." Athrun said. "Well you always go out there, next time it might just be you." She warned.

"Yeah, I'm quite aware of that, hopefully no one has a grudge against me." He said.

They came to the infirmary and knocked before the doctors let them in.

"All done with Shinn, he's still sleeping, but Kira is awake." The French surgeon told them.

"Ok, good." Athrun said. "Sorry about earlier, my Captain's would kill me if I let him die out there like that." He added.

"No problem, only, what about Kira? Is it safe for them to be in the same room together or not?" the doctor asked.

"I think it's ok, we'll know for sure when Shinn wakes up." Athrun said.

"Hopefully it's not soon." Cagalli remarked. "Why are you like that Cagalli?" he yelled. The doctors walked away and left them alone.

"Because he got what he deserved!" she fumed. "I'm right here guys." Kira reminded them.

"Oh! I'm sorry Kira." She said. "It's ok, I guess." He said. "I know how you feel Cags." He added.

She sighed and went over to his bed. "How are you feeling?" she asked softly.

"Better." He said. Just then Lacus burst in.

"What happened?" she demanded rather calmly. 'Shinn's arm was broken, and it was his coordinator weakness, he's sleeping now." Athrun told her.

She went over to Shinn's bed and looked at him. Kira watched carefully to see what she would do, remembering how unstable she was.

"At least he won't bother us anymore, should we make sure he's chained up, Lacus-san?" Cagalli asked her with a smirk.

Kira held his breath and looked at Lacus, his eyes pleading with her. "Yes, for now, anyways, until we can trust him." She said.

A pained expression came on his face as he watched Cagalli chain Shinn's wrists to the bed.

"Who knows what he'll do, right?" Cagalli said, still slightly smirking. Lacus nodded.

Athrun kept quiet the whole time, watching Kira's expressions. He felt sorry for his best friend and wanted to make every thing better, but he knew he couldn't.

"Um, let's let them sleep ok? I'm sure this has taken a toll on Kira." Athrun said and winked at him.

"But what if Shinn wakes up?" Cagalli asked, not noticing the exchange between the boys.

"You chained him up! He can't do anything!" he told her.

"Fine." She grumbled. Lacus cast a longing glance at Kira before following the others out.

He looked to the sleeping Shinn and almost wished that he would wake up so they could talk, because there was no way he could sleep now. He sighed and lay back on his pillows.

Suddenly, Shinn's eyes flew open and he tried to sit up, but the biting metal on his wrists and an aching arm held him back. "OW!" he hissed.

Kira looked at him, surprised, and asked himself if he was dreaming or psychic.

Shinn looked around, trying to remember where he was and saw Kira, looking equally shocked.

"Kira? What happened? Where am I?" he asked weakly.

"Your arm was broken in the fight so you were rushed to the infirmary." Kira answered.

"Oh, I guess I know how you feel now." He said bitterly.

"Shinn," Kira said softly. Shinn bit his lip to stop the tears that were forming in his eyes from falling.

"It hurts." He whispered, his voice choking as a tear of pain rolled down his cheek.

Kira flinched as he got up slowly out of his bed and –staggered- to Shinn's bed and put his hand on his cheek, catching the tear.

"I can feel it every where, Kira, why does it hurt so much?" Shinn asked as he looked into Kira's amethyst eyes.

"That's your weakness Shinn, every coordinator has one." Kira told him softly.

"Do you have one?" Shinn asked, still crying.

"No, I wasn't born with one, that's why I'm called the Ultimate Coordinator." Kira said.

"Why am I chained up?" Shinn asked again. "Because every one wants to make sure you won't try to attack me again or something and I think that's stupid." Kira said.

Shinn tried to smile but it hurt so instead a pained expression came upon his face.

"Are you ok, Shinn?" Kira asked and then regretted his stupid words. "Of course not." Shinn said.

"I'm sorry, none of this should've happened. I shouldn't have lied to you, I'm sorry." Kira said as a tear slid down his cheek and he looked away.

Shinn looked at him and snuggled his head against Kira's hand, cursing the chains that held him in place.

Kira looked at him and knelt down on his knees to get more comfortable and laid his head on Shinn's chest, looking into his crimson eyes.

Shinn again tried to smile at him and they both closed their eyes, enjoying each other's touch.

The nurse peaked open the door and saw them like that. At first she panicked and was going to tell the others, but then she decided to just leave the two lovers alone, thinking that they had enough stress right now and wanted them to be at peace.

She smiled as she closed the door quietly and left them to find comfort in each other.

* * *

"What are we gonna do now?" Cagalli asked. 

"I dunno, I have to call Capt. Gladys and Dullindal and tell them what happened to Shinn though." Athrun said.

"You should do that now." Lacus said. Athrun nodded and went to the control room.

"How are you, Lacus?" Cagalli asked her. "Good, I guess, although, I'm not sure what to think about Shinn and Kira. This war, it's torn every one apart, making them fight their friends, lovers." Lacus said quietly.

"I know, I just want it to end." Cagalli said. Lacus nodded and they sat in silence, reflecting about the war and its terrible tragedies.

* * *

Meanwhile, Athrun was thinking about something very different, something he found somewhat frightening. Every time he thought about Kira he felt this feeling in his chest, Kira was his best friend, but that was all, wasn't it? 

He wasn't so sure right now; he felt a sort of jealous pang towards Shinn for stealing Kira's fragile heart, not only from Lacus, but from him as well.

Could Athrun be falling in love with his best friend when he's already involved with another young coordinator? Could the intimacy the two boys share be affecting him in a way that he wanted some too?

Maybe, but what about Cagalli? She's been acting real grumpy and snappy lately, not quite attractive, especially since the two were trying to mend their somewhat broken relationship while they had the time together.

His heart was telling him two different things, and he didn't know which to choose, of course he couldn't abandon Cagalli for Kira, not now, when Shinn already staked his claim on the Ultimate Coordinator and Lacus was broken because of it.

Not now when Cagalli's mood swings made it hard to know if she hated Shinn or had forgiven him.

Not now when the war was ripping every one apart and exposing them to their fears and weaknesses.

Not now, when the last thing everyone needs is to have another unnatural love spring forth and threaten to shatter everything they thought was right and good.

No, Athrun couldn't be falling for Kira, not now, not ever, Shinn or Lacus would end up with him, and he would be with Cagalli, but still…

* * *

**-Author's Note: He he he, how'd you like that? Was that good enough fluff between Kira and Athrun? Should I continue this little battle in Athy-kun's heart to see who he truly loves more? This is definitely taking a different turn, but a good one, I like it! Tell me what you think, and athrunxoverxkira, please tell me if you liked it! WAHAHA! I FINALLY FIGURED OUT HOW TO PUT THE LINE THINGYS! YAY! Thank you to all of my wonderful reviewers who seem to be enjoying my work, please keep them up! Constructive Criticism accepted but if you don't have anything nice to say I'd advise you not to say anything at all, thank you and have a great day:) -**


	15. Chapter 15: Say You Love Me

**Chapter 15: Say You Love Me**

**Disclaimer: I don't want to say it! I'M NOT A REPETITIVE PERSON!**

**Kira: (sighs) Ok, I'll say it…**

**Shinn: (interrupts) NO! I'll say it!**

**Athrun: (interrupts) I want to say it! You guys already got a turn!**

**Me: Uhhhh, (sweat drop) ok then…..**

**All 3 hotties (lol): _Kiheada_ does not own us or any other characters from the awesome series Gundam Seed or Gundam Seed DESTINY and didn't write the script for the series so don't blame her for the bad ending. But she did write this story and the INSANE plot twists all came from her twisted mind so unless you want the nice white men to take you away too, please don't copyright or try to steal this fanfic!**

**Shinn: Or I'll destroy you!**

**Athrun and Kira: Yeah or he'll destroy you.**

**Me: (rofl) HAHAHA!**

_Ok, on with the chappy, this is gonna be kind of hard and may take a while because I started this late and I painted my nails before I got on so yeah, bare with me, and thanks to all my reviewers for the suggestions! (Winks) And also, this is gonna be funny as well! Prepare to fall out of your chair!_

* * *

Kira woke up sitting on the floor by Shinn's bed. Shinn was still asleep. Kira got up slowly, painfully, and stiffly, watching the young Zaft soldier sleep.

'_He deserves a good rest, without any nightmares or worries or stress.' _He thought. He sighed and climbed back into his bed.

Just then the nurse came in. "Oh, you're awake!" she said.

"Yeah." He replied.

"Is he still sleeping?" she asked, motioning towards Shinn.

"Yeah, I think." He said. "Ok, I guess I'll come back when he's awake, how are you doing?" she asked him.

"Better, actually." He said. "Good, hopefully you'll be good as new in no time!" she said happily and smiled.

Suddenly, Shinn groaned and flicked open his eyes.

"Oh, did I wake you?" the nurse asked him. "Kinda." He said groggily and yawned.

"Ok, well, can you feel any pain?" she asked coming over to him.

"Yeah, that's why I woke up, it hurts." He said weakly and grimaced. "Ok, I'm going to give you a shot to numb you." She said and pulled out a needle.

"I don't like needles." Shinn said and tried to move away but winced in pain as his arm moved in the cast, his stiff shoulder threatening to snap, and his wrists almost being sliced by the cuffs.

"Don't worry, it won't hurt, and you can move your head to the side if you want so you don't have to see it." She said and smiled sweetly.

Kira nodded to him and Shinn looked away and closed his eyes as the nurse gave him the numbing shot.

"There, all better!" she said. "I'll be back in half an hour to check up on you guys ok?" she added.

They nodded and she left. "Are you feeling better?" Kira asked him. "A little, I still don't like needles." He said and Kira chuckled.

"I wish I wasn't chained up like this, I feel like a prisoner." Shinn said.

"I know." Kira said. "Wow, this shot really works fast, I'm almost completely numb." Shinn said. "It feels weird." He added. Kira laughed again.

"Yeah, you get used to it after a while though." He said.

"I think that nurse really likes you." Shinn said randomly.

"Really?" Kira asked. "Yeah, and she's not that old either, probably around our age, and pretty." Shinn told him.

"What are you trying to say Shinn?" Kira asked him. Shinn shrugged slightly and looked away.

"I think she thinks you're cute too." Kira told him.

"Oh yeah, homicidal maniacs are just sooo sexy now-a-days huh? Especially ones that try to kill their lovers." Shinn said sarcastically, still looking away from Kira.

"I think you're sexy." Kira said.

"I hope so, that's be kinda odd if you didn't!" Shinn said, looking at Kira this time. They chuckled weakly.

"Yeah, I think Cagalli likes you too." Kira said. "What? Kira do you know how bizarre that sounds?" Shinn burst.

"Yeah, but she didn't exactly welcome me and Athrun with open arms into her heart either, the reason why she's so mean to you is that, yeah she's mad about what happened, but also because she's mad she likes you. She likes homicidal maniacs like you ya know." Kira teased his young lover.

"So Athrun's a homicidal maniac?" Shinn asked sarcastically.

"No, he's the other kind of guy she likes." Kira told him.

"I still think she hates me." Shinn said. "Give her time to get used to you and know you, she'll learn to like you and open up. Besides, if I like you, she likes you." Kira told him and smiled.

"Uh huh, she'll open up all right, a can of whoop-ass is what she's gonna open up." Shinn mumbled again with the sarcastic-ness.

Kira laughed and then looked at him, wishing he could just hold him or something, anything.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. "It's just me, Cagalli." Cagalli called in.

"Speak of the devil." Shinn grumbled as Kira called for her to come in. He shot Shinn a glare as she came in and Shinn shrugged and didn't meet neither twin's gaze.

"Hey, the nurse told me you were both awake, and I volunteered to bring lunch." She told them, ignoring the glare sent Shinn's way.

"Oh, thanks." Kira said. "Your welcome." She said and smiled at him, and then looked at Shinn, her smile slightly faltering and a hint of blush came to her cheeks as she said as steady as she could, "How are you feeling, Shinn?" and went over to him after setting the lunch tray down.

"Numb, fortunately." He said. Amusement played in her eyes as she resisted the urge to giggle. "Well, at least you don't feel pain." She only half fake-smiled this time.

Her sympathy sounded forced and un-real to Shinn as he also fake-smiled. _'There's no way she likes me.' _He thought.

"Well, I'll let you two eat." She said and actually un-cuffed Shinn while giving him an icy glare, as if saying, "Make a move for my bro and I'll break your other arm!".

"Thanks again." Kira said again as Cagalli left.

"See, she just forced herself to be nice to me because you were right there, I bet if you locked us up in a room she'd try to rip me to pieces!" Shinn said.

"Do you _want _to be locked up in a room with her?" Kira asked but then laughed as Shinn gave a disgusted look but then a smirk came upon his face, as if saying: "No, I wanna be locked up in a room with _you_."

Kira stopped laughing and replied to what Shinn said before that. "For a while, until she got bored." And laughed again as Shinn shook his head.

"I swear, you come up with the weirdest and strangest ideas Kira." He said and then the boys both blushed and grinned at each other, Kira bushing more than Shinn, obviously.

"I know, Shinn, I know." He replied afterwards. There was a silence between them as they ate.

"How's your arm?" Kira asked. Shinn looked at his arm that now had a cast on it. He couldn't feel it, and probably didn't want to. "Good, I guess, I can't feel it though." He replied.

"The nurse should be back soon," Kira said and they laughed.

"How much longer will it take for you to recover?" Shinn asked. "Three and a half more weeks, because of my ribs and cuts, how long do you think it'll take you to fully heal?" Kira asked.

"I don't know." Shinn said quietly.

Just then there was a knock on the door, and the nurse came in with a smile on her face. "Well hello again, boys, I see Miss Cagalli brought you your food, how are you feeling?" she asked.

"Good." They said nonchalantly, almost mechanically automatic.

"Good, and Shinn, the doctor's prepared a report on your wounds and you're expected to stay in the cast for about four to six weeks." She said.

Shinn's jaw drop and so did his pride. "FOUR TO SIX WEEKS?" he burst. She flinched and stammered, "I-I'm sorry, but at least you're healing faster than us naturals." He sighed and fell back in the bed.

Kira looked to her and said, "Sorry for the outburst, it's not your fault, don't worry about it, he'll be fine."

"I hope so, you guys are our only hope for ending this war, you, and Athrun, and all the other soldiers risking their lives in the hope that others will live." She said and walked out.

"Wow." He said to himself. "Nice going Shinn." He said sarcastically.

"Don't start Kira." He said through clenched teeth. "Crap! This wasn't supposed to happen! I have to be back at the Minerva to fight in two days!" he said.

There was another knock on the door before Kira could respond and Athrun poked his head inside the room.

"Hey, I just got off the phone with Capt. Gladys and Capt. Dullindal." He told Shinn and smiled warmly at Kira, who smiled back.

"And?" Shinn asked, not noticing the warm exchange between the two boys. "They said that you and I still have to come back but for me to bring you back in my Gundam and have Cagalli or Lacus bring your Gundam. She said you won't be allowed to fight until your cast is off, and she said your punishment for disobeying orders was, um," he stopped and looked at Kira.

Shinn felt his face heat up as he guessed what would happen to him when he returned to Zaft.

"Your punishment is that you are no longer a Zaft elite and are now reduced to a green coat, I'm sorry." Athrun finished and looked genuinely sad and sympathetic for the young soldier.

"What? I can control my Gundam with just one arm! I can program it! And, and, WHY AM I REDUCED TO THE LOWEST RANK IN ZAFT JUST BECAUSE I CARE ABOUT MY BOYFRIEND?" Shinn burst again, his face as red as his eyes.

Kira bit his lip and Athrun glanced at him before saying in a soft tone, "You'll have to work that out with Gilbert, you are his favorite. And besides, Talia was too pissed for me to talk to her about it."

Shinn and Kira didn't miss the hint Athrun dropped about Shinn being Gilbert's favorite, which was true, and even though Shinn… "Swings that way" the thought of playing teacher's pet and kissing his ass didn't very much appeal to him and his face showed his disgust.

Kira looked from Shinn to Athrun, back to Shinn. "What's with Gilbert Dullindal and Shinn?" he asked in a protective tone as he saw Shinn grimace in disgust and utter dismay.

"Gilbert likes Shinn in a few other ways besides him being a good pilot, and has basically told both of us that to get any 'special treatment' when we're in trouble that he'd have to, um, well," Athrun struggled for the right words when Shinn blurted.

"I have to be his little play-toy because he's a pedophile who some how knows I'm gay."

Kira gasped as his eyes went wide and his jaw dropped. He watched his young lover struggle with this news and wanted to hug and comfort him.

Athrun looked to Kira with a look that said, "Don't worry, if you love him that badly I won't let Dullindal do that." And said, "Well, I just wanted to inform you of their decision, I'll leave you two alone now." And left, but not before again glancing at Kira.

Shinn sat, face emotionless, as his heart screamed and his soul cried.

First he found out he almost killed his lover, who had killed his family, and the lie and drama that came of that. Then his arm was broken in battle, which was totally unexpected, and now he can't fight for 4 to 6 weeks, and that if he wanted to fight so badly, he'd have to kiss up to Gilbert, literally.

His whole world was falling apart, and he still hasn't even recovered from his family's death! He felt like destiny was using him to take out her anger on, that he was fate's scapegoat, everything was going wrong and he didn't know what to do.

'_Does God hate me or something?' _he asked himself. He wanted all this to end, to go away, and be held by his boyfriend with no worries, but that cherished moment was a long way away, and he felt the burden of his life on his shoulders, trying to crush him.

"Why? Why me?" he whispered, unwanted tears once again streaming down his face as the last of his pride and dignity left him.

"Shinn." Kira said softly, wanting badly to embrace him and whisper that everything was alright.

"Kira, say you love me." Shinn said suddenly.

"I love you, Shinn, more than you know." Kira replied.

"I love you too." Shinn whispered and closed his eyes.

* * *

**-Author's Note: Oui, I keep bashing poor Shinn. How did you like that little twist? Didn't expect that now did ya? If you think I'm insanely gross just tell me and I'll re-post this chapter the way I wrote it in my notebook, but if you love it, well, ok then I guess I'm not as perverted as I think! There was a tiny AthrunxKira fluff here because I couldn't fit in a proper fluff setting between them in this chapter, but I will try to fit it in the next, or in others, again, please tell me what you think, and thanks to all my reviewers who are so far liking this fic, hopefully I didn't scare you away, eh heh (sweat drop)-**


	16. Chapter 16: Love is War in Your Heart

**Chapter 16: Love is War in Your Heart**

**Disclaimer: My last disclaimer was really weird……**

**Kira: Yeah, and so was your last chapter…**

**Shinn: (sitting down and clutching his knees, rocking back in forth/isolation mode) Find a happy place, find a happy place….**

**Me: Eh heh (sweat drop)…..ON WITH THE CHAPTER!**

**Kira: (Glares)**

* * *

"I love him! But he's too worried about Shinn to even care!" Lacus cried.

"He cares, Lacus-san, don't think he doesn't." Athrun said softly in Kira's defense.

"Then why is he Shinn's lover? Boyfriend even! Why is he doing this to me?" she asked, still crying.

"I don't know, but maybe when me and Shinn leave you can ask him." He told her. Cagalli silently listened, not wanting to badmouth her brother or Shinn, or else Athrun would reprimand her, and it would only make Lacus worse.

"I will, I'll ask him what happened to us, and why he got involved with Shinn, and he'll have to answer honestly." She said with a determined look.

Athrun and Cagalli exchanged a fearful glance. This wasn't the calm, sweet Lacus they all knew and loved, she seemed so stressed, sad, angry, like she didn't know who she was anymore. They didn't like this knew Lacus, didn't know how to get the calm, wise, and kind one back, maybe talking with Kira would bring her back?

They hoped so, they needed Lacus Clyne in this war, what with Dullindal prancing around showing off Meer, and Cagalli struggling with her responsibilities as Chairwoman of ORB, and Athrun being promoted to FAITH but still unable to make it all end.

With Kira injured and EA full aware, ORB needed a strong, confident leader to fight the Earth Alliance off.

"Has Shinn been informed about what your Captain said?" Lacus asked suddenly.

"Yes, and he didn't take it too well, I'm afraid." Athrun said with a sympathetic and knowing look.

"That's too bad, he should be happy he doesn't have to risk his life in vain." She said in a resentful and bitter tone.

Athrun and Cagalli stared at her in surprise. _'She's become bitter, this is definitely not the calm Lacus from the first war,' _Athrun thought and felt his heart fill with sorrow for his lost friend.

What happened? Why was she so bitter and depressed? Could one person really cause her this much pain? _'Kira, what have you done to her?' _Cagalli thought. _'I have to talk to him!' _

"Lacus," Athrun began softly. "Don't, I need to think alone now, I'm sorry." She said and dismissed them.

* * *

"I'm going to give that brother of mine a piece of my mind!" Cagalli said as she stormed down the hall to the infirmary.

"Cagalli! He doesn't need that right now!" Athrun pleaded with her, a hint of protectiveness in his voice.

"Neither does Lacus, and besides, why aren't you angry as well? Lacus is your friend, how can you sit there and watch her suffer because of my selfish brother?" Cagalli said and barged into the room.

"Cagalli? What's wrong?" Kira asked, seeing the anger in her amber eyes.

"Do you have any idea what you did to Lacus?" she asked. "What do you mean?" he asked.

"She's changed because of you! She's bitter, because you broke her heart when you decided to cheat on her with _him_!" she spat and pointed at Shinn.

"Cagalli," Athrun said and tried to calm her down. "No Athrun! Don't you see? He made her this way because he was being selfish and didn't care about her!" she shouted and started to cry for her best friend.

Kira didn't know what to say, he sat there with his eyes wide and mouth half-opened as if to say something, but no words came out.

Suddenly, Shinn's eyes flew open and he went into SEED mode, jumping out of the bed. "How dare you say that about Kira!" he spat at her in a sort-of demonic tone.

"How dare you say that after what you did to him!" she spat back. Kira got out of his bed and tried to hold Shinn back while Athrun held onto Cagalli's arm.

"Shinn, calm down." Kira told him. "NO! She has no right to say those things; Lacus became bitter because she knew she couldn't have you and her emotions took control, consuming her with hate and bitterness!" Shinn said in the same demonic tone.

They all gasped and Cagalli screamed, "YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HER! HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT ABOUT HER WHEN YOU WERE THE ONE THAT GOT EVERYONE IN THIS MESS IN THE FIRST PLACE! I HATE YOU AND I DON'T CARE IF YOU HATE ME BACK! YOU'RE THE REASON KIRA'S HURT AND LACUS IS SO BITTER!", tears streaming down her red cheeks.

"Kira, let me go." He said to Kira, his blood-red eyes locked on Cagalli. "No, just calm down, please." Kira begged. He knew he couldn't stop Shinn if he really wanted to get free and attack his sister, he only hoped he wouldn't.

"Let him try to fight me! All I have to do is touch his arm!" Cagalli said and struggled to get free from Athrun's firm grip.

"I'd like to see you try!" Shinn yelled and also struggled against Kira, making him wince.

"STOP IT BOTH OF YOU!" Kira yelled and both stopped struggling as tears ran down his face. "I made a mistake and I'm sorry, but my decision is my own and I don't want you two fighting, not here, not ever, I will talk to Lacus alone, just please stop fighting!" he said.

Shinn instantly calmed down, going back to normal, as he turned to hug Kira. Cagalli relaxed against Athrun and he led her away and hugged her in the hallway as she cried on his shoulder.

The nurse and doctor ran up to them and asked why were people screaming and he said not to worry, it was just some stuff that needed to be said.

The nurse gave Cagalli and Shinn a pill to help calm them down and made sure Kira was ok as the doctor told Shinn to rest and not to raise his heart rate or blood pressure by yelling at people.

Athrun led Cagalli back to her room as she vented and cried in his arms, needing to get all the anger, hurt, and sadness out.

The doctor and nurse then left and Kira tried to talk to Shinn but he turned his head in anger and wouldn't answer.

"Why didn't you let me go? She had no right to say those things, Kira." Shinn finally said after a moment of silence in which he couldn't stand to see Kira look so sad and pleading.

"I didn't want you two to fight, besides, she's my sister!" Kira said. "I still could've gotten free and attacked her." Shinn said in a dangerous tone, as if implying that next time he would do just that, even if it involved hurting Kira.

"I know," Kira said quietly, defeated. Shinn didn't notice this as he promised, "I'll get her one day." His eyes glinting with determination.

"No you won't Shinn, I won't let you." Kira said with new confidence, daring Shinn to defy him with his amethyst eyes.

Shinn looked at him, his crimson eyes intimidating and scaring Kira. "You won't have a choice." He said, making Kira shudder. "Just be happy they chained me back up, Kira." He said threateningly and Kira resisted the urge to gulp. He had to stand up against Shinn this time, but those eyes! Those piercing red eyes!

He looked up at the ceiling and closed his eyes as the song "Animal I have become" by Three Days Grace popped in his head. That song was Shinn all the way, and Kira didn't like it.

He knew Shinn would get his revenge, he didn't dare think of how to stop him or he would be next, if he wasn't already.

A shiver ran down his spine. "Now I know what love is." He said. "What?" Shinn asked in his still dangerous tone.

"Love is war in your heart, it's a battlefield." Kira said and looked into Shinn's eyes. The latter's eyes softened and he mouthed, "I'm sorry."

Kira smiled and said, "It's ok, I understand."

Shinn sometimes got in this mood when he was angry at the world and wanted to kill everybody, especially after going SEED mode. Kira knew it was just Shinn's past taking control of his emotions, so he understood the way Shinn acted with Cagalli, and swearing revenge.

He only hoped Shinn wouldn't keep to his word this time.

"Shinn, I know you've said it before, but, say you love me." Kira said suddenly.

Shinn looked at him in a confused way; his brows furrowed with question, but still said, "I love you, Kira."

"Thanks, I just wanted to hear it again." Kira said, sounding relieved. Shinn grinned, "Are ya sure it wasn't just a test to make sure I wasn't serious about revenge?" Shinn guessed.

Kira laughed.

* * *

**-Author's Note: Soooo, did you like? I threw in some tough stuff because Shinn's pride needed a little boost, and so did Kira's, he he. I know, not much fluff, but I'm trying! Ohmibob, the next chapter I haven't even finished in my notebook! NOOOO I'M GOING TO CATCH THE EVIL WRITER'S BLOCK DISEASE! But it's funny, kind of, let's just say Shinn has a nightmare and Kira is sad but feels powerful for the first time in his relationship with Shinn, lol! Please review this fic, along with my others, because I won't update this until I get more reviews on my pirate story and my random story, so WAHAHA! I know I'm mean, PLEASE DON'T HATE ME! T.T-**


	17. Chapter 17: Please Don't Hurt Me, Kira!

**Chapter 17: Please Don't Hurt Me, Kira!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own GS or GSD unfortunately, or a lot of things would be different! EEEEEEEE (squeals) it's the 17th chappy and we're still rollin'! WOOT! Although, I have to say, the next couple of chapters will be very descriptive and gross, so be prepared, I'll post a warning after the disclaimer so that you guys will know if u want to continue or not, and if u don't I'll give you a summary and you can go to the next chapters, lol, because I'm nice like that! He he!**

* * *

Kira woke up to a screaming Shinn Asuka. He jolted up when he saw the younger boy thrashing about and clutching his right arm. Tears were streaming down his face; it was 5:00 in the morning.

"Shinn!" Kira called and struggled painfully to get out of his bed. His ribs still hurt a lot, and the bandages restrained most of his movements. But he had to comfort Shinn; he couldn't watch his young lover scream in pain as tears poured out of his eyes and heart.

"Shinn" Kira said softly and stopped the other coordinator from moving, making him groan in pain and fear.

"Shhh, it's ok, I'm here, it's just me Shinn, Kira." He told him and saw the boy calm slightly.

But then Shinn jerked away and started screaming again, "PLEASE DON'T HURT ME! I'M SORRY! I DON'T WANNA DIE! PLEASE! NO! KIRA! _AHHHHHH_!"

Kira froze. Just then, some doctors rushed in, along with a very grumpy Cagalli, and of course Athrun right behind her. But all of them froze, gasped, and looked to Kira when they heard Shinn's words and saw him crying and thrashing about, still screaming.

"What did you do?" they all seemed to ask at once.

Kira was still stunned as he blinked back tears from his wide eyes and said quietly, "I don't know." And then a doctor went to Shinn and gave him a shot and he stopped moving and fell back into a somewhat peaceful sleep.

They all looked at Kira as Cagalli asked, "So what was the little brat screaming about this time?" rather coldly.

Kira shot her a glare and also said coldly," I woke up to him screaming and crying and thrashing about so I went to wake him up or at least comfort him and he screamed…..that…when I touched him. It's just a nightmare though. He always has nightmares." and said the last part quietly and sadly as his purple eyes softened and Athrun looked sympathetic for his friend.

"Yes, a bad dream, well, now he's calm so we should bet back to sleep." Athrun told Cagalli. "Humph." She grumbled and trudged out of the room.

The doctor's tried to help Kira back in bed but he said he was fine so they left. The nurse, whose name he eventually found out to be Sally, also gave a sympathetic look at Kira and smiled at him before she left.

Kira was still standing next to Shinn's bed, looking at his lover who only a few moments ago was crying for mercy. "Shinn" Kira said again mournfully, on the verge of tears.

He went to touch Shinn again but as soon as his hand touched his cheek Shinn jerked away and whimpered.

"What did I do? Why are you so afraid of me?" Kira asked as the tears began to fall.

"Ultimate Coordinator….too powerful. Don't hurt me….please." Shinn mumbled again. "I won't hurt you Shinn." Kira told him.

"No…liar." Shinn murmured accusingly.

The words stung Kira's very soul as he dropped painfully to his knees and started crying, his hands on Shinn's bed and his head on his hands.

"It hurts. Ow…my arm…no….please..." Shinn began to whimper again and tears welled up in his eyes once more.

Kira got up and pushed a button by him and Shinn's bed and Sally came in a few minutes later. "Um, his arm is hurting." Kira said as she nodded and got another shot.

She came over and when she tried to put the needle in Shinn cried out and moved away.

Kira grabbed him and held him still as Sally gave him the shot in his upper arm as he was struggling against Kira. "Sorry, I don't know why he's acting like this." He told her.

"Oh, it's ok. I'm sure he's just over-whelmed with everything that's happened. I do hope he gets better soon, and that this war ends so everyone can be happy again." She said and smiled.

"Thanks, for everything." He said and smiled back. She blushed and said, "Just doing my job." And continued to smile as she told him to get some rest and not to worry about Shinn and then left.

Kira did as he was told and climbed into bed, glancing at Shinn who was facing him, his mouth slightly parted, breathing heavily.

**-Shinn's Dream-**

_Shinn was running from someone, but who? He looked back and saw Kira, his amethyst eyes enlarged in SEED mode, his face angry._

_Shinn cried in fear and ran faster, but Kira caught up to him and grabbed his right arm._

"_NO! Let go!" he cried. "You won't get away this time!" Kira said in a demented voice as he tightened his grip on the young coordinator._

"_Please! Let me go! What did I do?" Shinn asked. Kira grinned and said, "You've been acting too dominant, Shinn, thinking you can boss me around and threaten me, thinking I'll be afraid. I'm not afraid of you Shinn, you should be afraid of me!" and twisted Shinn's arm, making him cry out in pain._

"_NO! Please don't hurt me!" he cried. "That's right Shinn, fear me, fear my abilities as the Ultimate Coordinator," Kira began and then his face changed to Dullindal's as he continued, "Fear me, Shinn, I own you, if you want to be back with the Elite, you must subject to me!" and laughed evilly as Shinn's eyes widened in pure terror._

"_NO!" he screamed and tried to get away. But Gilbert's grip was firm, and then he saw Kira in the distance, looking sad. "Kira! Help!" Shinn cried out to him._

_But Kira just sat there and shook his head sadly, and Dullindal grinned and shoved Shinn on a bed. They were suddenly in his room, and Kira was no where to be found._

"_Oh, God, no! PLEASE! NO! STOP!" Shinn screamed as Gilbert tried to take his clothes off. "Hello little soldier boy…" Dullindal said and grinned at Shinn…_

**-End of Dream-**

Shinn woke up covered in sweat as he gasped and bolted upright in the bed. Kira was standing over him, looking concerned, worried and sad, just like in Shinn's dream.

Remembering it brought tears to his eyes as he clung to Kira and let the tears fall. Kira hugged him back and whispered, "Shhh, it's ok, I'm here, I won't hurt you. It's alright."

"I had a nightmare; you were chasing me and trying to hurt me. You grabbed my arm and said I wouldn't get away this time. And then you said I was acting too dominant and I was trying to boss you around and threaten you so you'd be afraid of me. And then you said I should fear you and twisted my arm." Shinn explained quickly, without taking a breath, which made him start coughing afterwards.

"It was just a dream, Shinn, I'm not going to hurt you, I love you." Kira said and smiled. "But there's more, Dullindal came and said to fear him, he said he owns me and if I wanted to be in the Elite again I'd have to subject to him. And you were there but just stood there with a sad look, and when I cried out to you, you just shook your head." Shinn told him and continued shakily.

"A-and, then Dullindal shoved me on a bed a-and, Oh God!" he cried and clung tighter to Kira as he started to shudder and convulse.

"Shhhh, don't think about it, I won't let that happen and neither will Athrun." Kira told him. But Shinn continued, "He was taking off my clothes and I was trying to stop him, and he said, 'Hello little soldier boy,'" and then looked into Kira's eyes.

"That's what he said when he first met me." He said.

Kira's eyes went wide and he hugged his boyfriend tighter. _'Oh my Lord, poor Shinn, I didn't know, I didn't know!' _Kira thought.

Just then Athrun came in. "I heard more yelling and wanted to make sure you guys were ok." He said. He gave a questioned look and Kira let go of Shinn. "I'll be right back ok?" he told him and Shinn nodded.

Kira went out into the hall with Athrun and explained the dream.

"Don't worry, Kira, I won't let that happen." Athrun promised. "I didn't even know, why didn't he tell me?" Kira asked.

"I don't know, maybe he was ashamed, or even afraid." Athrun said. "Well, the poor kid barely has any dignity now," Kira said and shook his head.

Athrun nodded in agreement and his eyes wandered over Kira's body, but quickly went back to his face as he smiled.

Kira smiled back and said, "Thanks for all the help Athrun." Athrun slightly blushed, Kira noticed, and he said, "Your welcome." And continued to smile.

Kira sighed and suddenly hugged Athrun, who even more surprisingly hugged him back. _'I knew it,' _Kira thought and grinned almost –evilly-.

"I have to get back to Shinn or he'll start to freak out." Kira said when the embrace was over. "Ok, and don't worry, I'll make sure Dullindal keeps his hands off Shinn." Athrun said.

Kira smiled, "Thanks, I'm glad you're not mad at him anymore, now if only Cagalli could accept it." He hinted and they chuckled.

Athrun took the hint that Kira dropped and winked, and Kira smiled and went back into the room. He found Shinn sitting on his bed in a ball, his hands around his legs and his head on his arms.

Kira walked over to him and stroked his cheek. Shinn closed his eyes and leaned his head against Kira's hand as he smiled at him and then sat down on the bed.

Shinn opened his eyes and gave Kira a questioning look and Kira only continued to smile and took Shinn into his arms and lay down on the bed. Shinn snuggled against his chest and fell into a peaceful sleep.

* * *

**-Author's Note: Well, how's that for fluff? He he he, mysterious is it not? Seriously, tell me what you think and thanks in advance to everyone! The next chapter is gonna involve a rather emotional game of TRUTH OR DARE so be prepared! D-**


	18. Chapter 18: Truth or Dare?

**Chapter 18: Truth or Dare?**

**Disclaimer: Still. No. Ownage. So. Sad. WAAAA! Because if I did……he he he……**

**Shinn and Kira: (exchange an awkward glance) Riiiight……**

* * *

The boys woke up again to Sally who gave Shinn another calming pill and spoke nicely to him, lifting him up and actually making him smile (and blush). Then she said that they should join the others for breakfast and they jumped out of bed and went into the cafeteria where Kira was applauded by all for getting better.

Everyone seemed to be in good spirits, even Cagalli, and Lacus was her usual kind, sweet, innocent self, which made everything almost feel normal. Almost.

Athrun and Kira exchanged a few glances and smiles, which Shinn didn't notice.

Kira was sitting in-between Shinn and Athrun, across from his sister, Lacus, and Andy (who was sipping coffee and reading the funnies while listening to the teen's conversation and occasionally saying something humorous).

A few times Athrun and Kira's legs touched, in which they both blushed and smiled at each other, and in case Shinn noticed Kira also rubbed against his leg, making them blush as well. (Spreading the love, isn't he?).

"So Shinn, what was with all the screaming this morning?" Cagalli dared to ask.

Shinn's smile turned into a frown as he looked down at his food and said, "I had a bad dream is all."

"Oh poor Shinn, Athrun told me about Gilbert Dullindal." Cagalli said softly, with true sympathy in her eyes. Lacus looked confused as she asked, "What's with Gilbert and Shinn?" innocently.

There was a pause and Athrun said, "Shinn's his favorite pilot." quietly.

A look of mock surprise was upon her face as she said, "Oh," also quietly. Andy looked around the now quiet teens and said, "Ok, so what are you youngsters planning to do for fun today?"

They all shrugged and he grinned and said, "I have an idea…" and they all looked at him in question, wondering what kind of scheme he was devising.

"And just what is that, Andy?" Cagalli asked him.

He continued to grin as he exclaimed, "Let's play Truth or Dare!" and everyone did an anime face-drop as they all fell to the floor and Andy sweat-dropped.

"What? It's fun!" he said and everyone shook their heads.

"You know, I think it's a good idea!" Athrun said and looked at Kira. He took the hint and said, "Yeah, me too, come on guys!" and looked at Shinn who this time didn't miss the exchange between the two "friends".

"Sure." He said with a suspicious gleam in his eyes. He shrugged it off and Cagalli and Lacus agreed as they filed out of the cafeteria and into the large meeting room.

"Ok, who's going first? And do you want to spin a bottle?" Andy asked. "You go first, since you suggested it, and no bottle." Cagalli said, the others nodded in agreement.

"OK! Hmmm," Andy said as he looked at the teens, trying to decide who to ask first. "Cagalli, Truth or Dare?" he asked her. "Dare." She said and smirked.

"I dare you to wear a dress!" he said and everyone gasped and Athrun high-fived Andy. Cagalli glared at them and said through gritted teeth, "Fine, but when and what dress?"

"Now, and hold on," Andy said and left. He came back with a green dress similar to the one she wore when she and Kira had coffee with him that day in Alaska.

She continued to glare but took it and changed into it in the bathroom. When she came back out everyone looked in awe, and the boys were blushing madly!

She blushed and sat back next to Athrun and said, "Well, I guess I'm next." And sat thinking.

"Shinn, truth or dare?" she asked and smirked again. "Dare." He said as his intimidating eyes showed no fear.

"I dare you to not talk to Kira and switch places with Lacus." She continued to smirk as the two boys looked shocked and resentful.

"That means you can't dare him either." She added and he glared.

Kira nodded and he switched places with Lacus and sat –unwillingly- next to Cagalli herself who was still smirking. "Your turn." She said. He looked around; he could dare Lacus, Athrun, or Andy.

"Lacus, truth or dare?" he decided. "Truth." She said obviously. "Is it true you and Cagalli secretly hate me?" he asked without flinching. Kira cast a worried look from Lacus to Cagalli (who still smirked) and to his boyfriend.

Lacus hesitated and glanced at Kira and then at Cagalli before answering with, "I wouldn't say hate, but, I'm afraid, we are quite resentful of you." She admitted.

Kira gave a sympathetic look to his lover and glared at his twin sister.

**THE FUNNY YET WEIRD AND CONFUSINGLY DELICIOUS PART (And yes I'm a little crazy right now, eh heh)**

"Ok, hmmm," Lacus said and wondered who to ask. "Kira, truth or dare?" she asked sweetly but there was a malicious glint in her eyes.

"Dare." He said bravely. He shouldn't have said that though…

"I dare you to slap Shinn." She said and everyone gasped. Shinn looked shocked and slightly afraid as he glanced at Kira who was just staring at Lacus in shock, annoyance, and, what? Was it….slight relief? Or anger? Shinn wasn't sure…

"Well, go on." She said coldly. "What do you mean? And why?" he asked, stalling.

"Slap him across the face for trying to kill you." She said in a cold, emotionless voice. "Unless, that is, if you're too much of a coward to strike him, Kira. I mean, he did harm you in an attempt to kill you, and also broke your heart at first; surely you're still a bit resentful of that, aren't you?" she added in a cunning way.

Kira glanced at Shinn who actually looked frightened and seemed to also be glaring at Lacus for egging Kira on. He hesitated before he asked, "What if I don't?"

"Then I'll slap both of you!" she yelled and made them jump as she closed her eyes and tried to compose herself, taking a shuddering breath.

"Oh just do it! Or do you want me to?" Cagalli said as she raised her hand, prepared to strike. Shinn glared and leaned in the other direction, waiting, just waiting, for her to hit him.

"NO!" Kira said a little too loudly, which made them give him a questioning look. "I mean, Cagalli don't you dare hurt him." He said and tried to make his voice sound protective. **_Tried_**, (The key-word there).

He went over to Shinn whose eyes were defiant yet pleading for him not to strike. Kira motioned for him to close his eyes and turn his head, and then backhanded him.

He secretly wanted to hit Shinn for putting him in this predicament and breaking his heart so he slapped him a little harder than he meant, making Shinn hiss in pain and give him a sorrowful and yet _hateful _glare.

Then Kira glared at Lacus and kissed Shinn on the cheek he just slapped and went back to his seat, not looking at Lacus.

"Athrun, truth or dare?" he asked in a cold tone. "Uhhhh, truth?" Athrun more like asked, thinking he'd be safe. He was wrong.

"Is it true that Lacus and Cagalli hate me as well for simply loving a guy and not them because they're jealous and selfish?" he asked viciously while glaring at Cagalli.

"You're the selfish one!" Cagalli spat as Lacus looked hurt. "So are you! So what if I like Shinn? If you both truly cared about me then you'd accept it!" he snapped back and continued to glare.

Shinn smirked at Cagalli who said, "Stop smirking or I'll slap you again!" "Go ahead and see what happens princess!" he sneered, indicating that Kira would back him up.

Cagalli stood up and said, "What'd you call me fag?" and Shinn growled and stood up and was about to punch her when Athrun stopped them.

"Ok, ok, that's enough!" he said and got between them. He glanced expectantly at Kira to see if he would control his boyfriend and sister but he just shrugged and looked away.

"I think we should stop playing truth or dare." Andy said not too loudly to himself.

Shinn glared once again at Cagalli before storming out of the room. Athrun crossed his arms and also glared at Cagalli who said, "What?" as if nothing happened.

"Kira," Lacus said and tried to touch his cheek, but he jerked away and then left as well. Her eyes welled up with tears and she laid her head on the table.

Outside, Shinn stood staring out of the glass window. Kira came up beside him and leaned against the window, crossing his arms and staring intently at Shinn.

He glanced at Kira and rubbed his stinging cheek that had turned a bright red.

"I'm sorry for slapping you so hard; I guess all my built up rage got to me." Kira said still in a dark tone, hinting his fury and loss of self-control.

Shinn suddenly looked at him in shock and mock fear. Kira's eyes were hard and cold. It was then that Shinn felt the utter weakness of himself and unconsciously shuddered as he imagined the Ultimate Coordinator letting out the rest of his rage on him.

Kira noticed this and his eyes softened as he stroked Shinn's other cheek, giving him goose bumps. It was also then that Shinn realized how tall Kira really was as he had to look up at him to give him a pleading look, which Kira ignored as his hand went down Shinn's neck as something new came into his amethyst eyes.

Sound familiar? It was just like the beginning, except now it was the other way around. _'The tables are turned, I'm no longer the stronger one, I never even was,' _Shinn thought bitterly.

"Stop." He said to Kira, who glared at him but dropped his hand. "So _now _you're afraid of me?" he asked and Shinn sighed and closed his eyes, leaning against the window, facing away from Kira.

He felt a hand pull him and opened his eyes to see Kira leading him down the hall.

"What are you doing?" Shinn asked. "Remember a couple of days ago when you tried to climb in bed with me but I said later?" Kira asked, still leading Shinn. "Yeah," Shinn said with suspicion and realization on his face.

"Well, I think it's been long enough." Kira replied and stopped, looking into Shinn's eyes, which seemed to be hesitant.

Kira gave him a reassuring smile as Shinn suddenly felt a rush of long-awaited lust come over him and he grinned, ignoring the little Voice inside his head telling him to be careful and aware of the cunning UC.

They went into the room and Shinn locked the door behind him and when he turned around they started making out rather fiercely and Kira walked backwards to his bed, leading Shinn still. He lay down with Shinn on top, but then rolled over and pinned the younger and weaker coordinator, who was at first surprised and again hesitant as he gave Kira a look that said, "You promised you wouldn't hurt me, so don't break it, or me." before Kira kissed him again and they lost themselves in each other.

The rest of the day was awkward and unusually quiet. Athrun and Cags made up and said their good-byes and Lacus and Kira got to talk and settle their differences.

It was a long night, but to them, morning came too soon.

* * *

**-Author's Note: Wahaha, so how was it? I know, more Shinn bashing, but at least he didn't cry! (Which is amazing since he just got witch-slapped by the UC!) And yes, I'm going to torture you guys by not writing the conversation between Kira and Lacus, but don't worry, because that's what Flashbacks are for! (Huge grin) And also, I know that Kira and Lacus were a little OOC (Ok, maybe A LOT) but trust me; it makes for a good story anyways, right? Well, please review and tell me what you think, flames are welcome and will be kept safely in my fireplace (Ok I don't have a fireplace, lol). Also, a heads up that the next chapter will be descriptively disturbing and I advise anyone under 13 not to read the whole chapter but to read the summary I'll put after the warning I'll also put up, but If you think you can handle it then read on, just don't flame me or stop reading the fic just because it was too gross or you didn't like the way it played out, but please don't get mad! I also dropped some hints, in case you haven't noticed, so read carefully!-**


	19. Chapter 19: The Damage is Done

**Chapter 19: The Damage is Done**

**Disclaimer: I do not own GSD or else something like this would never happen!**

**Shinn: (Evil glare)**

**Kira: (Pats him on the back) It's ok, we can kill her later….**

**Me: (gulp) and now……**

**ADVISORY WARNING: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS MATERIAL NOT SUITABLE FOR AGES 13 AND UNDER, CONTAINS SEXUAL VIOLENCE! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK, NO FLAMES ACCEPTED, FOR THOSE WHO DO NOT WISH TO READ HERE IS A SUMMARY:**

**Summary: Shinn and Athrun go back to the Minerva after Athrun proposes to Cagalli. Athrun doesn't get to keep his promise as he goes with Talia for punishment and Shinn goes with Dullindal. Dullindal promotes Shinn back up to the Elite after some "play-time", which leaves Shinn hurt and ashamed. Please wait for the next chapter which should be coming tomorrow.**

* * *

"I don't wanna go back! I wanna stay here with you!" Shinn whined to Kira. Kira sighed, "Orders are orders, Shinn, just try to stay alive ok?" he said and Shinn pouted.

Kira pulled him into a hug and kissed him passionately. Shinn held out the moment as long as he could and when it was over looked up into amethyst eyes that looked down into crimson.

Cagalli and Athrun were in Athrun's room, getting dressed only to undress each other again, all while making out, surprising. Cagalli apologized a thousand times over, saying that she's sorry she ruined their time together worrying about her brother and his problems. Athrun comforted her by saying they all were like that and kissed her.

"Cagalli, when this war is over, will you marry me?" Athrun asked her and showed her a beautiful diamond ring while on one knee.

She gasped and hugged him, tears of JOY in her amber eyes as she whispered over and over, "Yes, oh God yes!"

And then it came time for Shinn and Athrun to go back to the Minerva. Shinn was allowed to bring back his Gundam after persuading Talia by telling her he could program it so he could operate it with only one arm, which Kira helped to do.

The boys loaded into their Gundams after a long embrace and passionate kissing from their lovers and again Athrun reassured Kira that that he wouldn't let Gilbert hurt Shinn.

They launched and then after only 20 minutes were back in the hangar of the Minerva, standing in front of Captain's Talia Gladys and Gilbert Dullindal.

"Welcome back, boys." Gilbert said, his gaze lingering on Shinn. "Yes, welcome, however, for disobeying orders you shall receive just punishment! Athrun come with me." Talia said and started to leave; Athrun glanced at Shinn and didn't move.

"Shinn, you come with me." Dullindal said and smiled that creepy pedophile smile as Shinn glanced at Athrun again with a pleading look.

"Athrun," Talia said in a warning tone. Athrun cast a look at Shinn that said, "Be careful, kid, and good luck." And Shinn smiled a _bittersweet_, "Thanks for trying." Smile and followed Gilbert Dullindal to his DOOM! (NOOOOOOOOOO)

Instead of going to his office like Shinn thought (and preferred) Dullindal led him to his room and stood in the doorway for Shinn to enter. He hesitated at first but them slowly and uneasily walked in.

He was still in his flight suit and had his helmet under his left arm. (Cough, cough)

"Well, Athrun might have already told you that you are reduced to a green coat." Gil began.

"Yes sir." Shinn said.

"Well, do you want to stay a green coat or go back to being an Elite?" He asked suddenly. Shinn looked surprised and confused, "I want to be an Elite, sir." He told him with a questioning, look.

Dullindal smiled his pedophile smile again and went back Shinn. He stoked the boy's cheek, who unconsciously shuddered at the touch, which made Gil chuckle.

"Then, my lad, you should know what to do." He said and moved his hand down Shinn's chin to his neck.

Shinn took a deep breath and said bravely, "Isn't there a legal way, sir?" Dullindal's hand reached the zipper of his suit, crimson eyes staring nervously.

"Hmmm, legally, no, I can keep you as a green-coat until you've learned your lesson, or, you can immediately go back to being a Zaft Elite, and you do look quite dashing in the red uniform." He told him.

Shinn gulped as Gilbert started to unzip his suit. "Put your helmet on my desk there, and relax, my boy, surely you've done this with your boyfriend? I hear he's the Ultimate Coordinator, now tell me he isn't rough in bed!" he said and chuckled as Shinn thought, _'Just last night, actually, and yes, he was quite rough.'_ But then quickly shook his head.

"Sir, I really don't think you should be doing this." He said. The older man frowned and said, "Come now, Shinn, why are you so afraid of me?" and took his helmet and laid it on the desk and continued to unzip his suit.

Shinn lifted his hand to stop him, "This isn't right." He murmured, not looking at the man.

"It's a pity your arm is broken and in a cast. I could've made this a lot easier." Gilbert said through clenched teeth. Shinn looked up in shock and knew exactly what he meant.

Then Dullindal pulled straight down on his suit, making Shinn gasp and try to stop him, he had a shirt and only boxers underneath the suit, so if it goes, so does his dignity (what little he has left).

"NO! Stop!" he heard himself cry out. Everything seemed to go in slow motion as Gilbert practically ripped off his suit and dragged him to his bed, just like in Shinn's nightmare.

He heard himself scream, "NO! Please don't! Stop! Oh God! AHHHHH!" and then was cut off when Dullindal's lips pressed against his and he was pinned down by the older and stronger man.

Gilbert's tongue was forcibly prying open Shinn's mouth and probing inside as Shinn squirmed beneath his grasp and felt something hard…

"We can do this the easy way or the hard way, Asuka, now just relax and go along now and I won't have to hurt you." He said when he was done –kissing- poor Shinn.

"Please don't do this to me, sir." Shinn said as he started to cry.

"Now don't cry, am I that bad? Or are you afraid of being hurt? Yes, that must be it. I won't hurt you, Shinn, if you just let me play with you." He said creepily and tried to pull off Shinn's shirt.

"I think I'd just rather stay a green-coat!" Shinn cried and tried to stop him, it was then that he noticed something shiny and metallic hanging from the bedpost. Gil took it and showed Shinn.

They were hand-cuffs, Shinn froze and his eyes went wide with terror as Gil said, "Nonsense, I like you in your Zaft Elite uniform, now if you continue to resist, then I will have to cuff you to the bed."

Shinn stared at the metal object and gulped, following it with his eyes as Dullindal moved it in front of him, back and forth. Gilbert was quite intrigued by Shinn's reaction and Shinn bit his lip when he pretended to cuff his wrist.

"Don't bite your lip, my my, that got you under control now didn't it? So what do you say, Shinn?" he asked the scared boy.

Shinn looked from him to the handcuffs back to him and then closed his eyes and turned his head to the side, saying regretfully:

"Just do what you must and be done with me." weakly and thought, _'Kira, even though Athrun promised he'd protect me from this horror, he couldn't stop it, please understand and don't be mad at him. Yes, think of Kira, OH GOD! Happy place, find a happy place with mom and dad and Mayu, and Kira. Kira, please save me, I don't want to do this OH PLEASE NO! Think about Kira, NO! NOT THE NIGHTMARE! MERCY!'_

Shinn cried out, but the more he cried, the more excited Dullindal got and decided to cuff him anyways as Shinn screamed and squirmed and cried.

"Hush now, you'll feel better soon, much better." Gilbert said and pulled down Shinn's boxers. _"Hello little soldier boy…"_

Tch, just punishment. More like UNjust punishment.

* * *

**-Author's Note: So…what did you think? No flames, please, I didn't want to write it but it made for a good twist and don't worry, Gilbert Dullindal will get HIS "Just punishment"! Please tell me what you think though, and if you absolutely hate it, then give me at least a better suggestion on either how to get G.D back, or what Shinn could do! Next chapter you will find out Athy-kun's punishment, and it's not nearly as bad as Shinn's, so no worries! I tried to make it as humorous as possible, but as you can tell, it's not so easy when you're dealing with something like this…. Eh heh (sweat drops)-**


	20. Chapter 20: Broken

**Chapter 20: Broken**

**Disclaimer: I do not own GSD and I wish I could say that I do not own Chapter 19, but alas, my stupidity is written all over it……… I would like to apologize to all Shinn lovers and Gil lovers because I'm a retard! It was only AFTER I posted Chapter 19 that I went to find a picture of Dullindal, and I found out that it wasn't who I thought it was, and also when I read his profile I found out that he was very OOC in the last chapter and so was Shinn in my ENTIRE FIC! I feel so horrible……**

**Shinn: YOU SHOULD FEEL HORRIBLE! DIE! (takes out a chainsaw)**

**Me: AHHHHHH! KIRA HELP! (starts running from Shinn who is chasing me with a chainsaw)**

**Kira: (eating popcorn) this is good….GET HER SHINN! SLICE HER LEG OFF SO SHE CAN'T RUN!**

**Me: (gulp) AHHHHH NOOOOOOO I DIDN'T KNOW! OWWWIE!**

**Shinn: TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE! (still chasing me with a chainsaw…….)**

**Me: (sniffle)WAAAAAAA!(starts to cry) Ok, well, now that we have all that established, Gilbert Dullindal is just gonna be OOC and Shinn is gonna be a little OOC, if anyone has a problem with that,…well…..you should've spoke up before this chapter anyway so I don't think anyone really DOES has a problem with it……sooooo…on with the chapter:**

* * *

"I'm telling you he has to be stopped!"(Lmfao)Athrun said and slammed his fist on the desk. "Athrun, there's no proof, and even if there was I couldn't do anything about it or we'd all be traitors!" Talia told him. 

"Proof? HE ADMITTED IT TO US! You heard what he said Captain Gladys!" Athrun yelled. "Stop yelling and calm down Athrun, just because you're in FAITH doesn't mean you can yell at your superiors and accuse them of molesting a fellow comrade!" Talia told him in a warning tone and he calmed down.

"Besides, I thought you and Shinn hated each other anyway? Why now do you care so much for his well-being?" She asked.

"We became friends in ORB." Athrun said. "And I know, I'm sorry, but there has to be some way to stop him from hurting Shinn." He said.

She sighed, "I'll look into it Athrun, but I doubt that this is all true." She told him. "I know, but you just have to trust me." He said.

"Yes, well, about that, you are hereby unauthorized to talk to any member of ORB while you are on the battlefield, do you understand?" she said.

His eyes grew wide as he burst, "But they're my friends and Cagalli's my fiancé!" "You can't talk to them on the battlefield, or would you like to be demoted from FAITH and put in the same position as Shinn?" she said.

He sighed and said, "Fine." "Good, you can go now." She said and dismissed him.

He went out into the hall and saw Luna talking with her sister. "Hey." He said. They saw him and smiled.

"Hey Athrun! You're back!" Meyrin squealed and hugged him.

"Where's Shinn?" Luna asked and looked around. "Uhhhh, he's with, um, Gilbert." Athrun said and looked away.

At first the two girls didn't understand, but then they began to realize what was worrying Athrun so much.

"So, you mean, it's true?" Luna asked as tears formed in her eyes. Athrun nodded and the two girls gasped. "Can't we do something?" Luna asked again.

"Talia wouldn't listen to me." Athrun said and shook his head. "Oh, poor Shinn, hey, what if it's not as bad as we think?" Meyrin said.

"I don't know Mey, I just don't know." Athrun said.

They stood there with a forlorn look on their faces until Athrun said they should eat and then he'd check on Shinn, so they ate lunch in the cafeteria.

* * *

Shinn woke up sore and defeated. He looked around and found that Dullindal was gone, thankfully, and he left Shinn's uniform by the bed, along with a note: 

_That was fun, now, if you want to be allowed to pilot your Gundam and once again become my "Super Ace", you will join me for Round 2 tonight! And also…DON'T TELL ANYONE! See you tonight, BIG Soldier Boy! –G.D._

He shuddered and groaned as he got out of bed and put on his uniform. _'I can't believe that happened. I'll never be the same, I'll never trust again,' _he thought and looked at his hands and wrists.

He sighed. "Well, time to face the music." He grumbled and poked his head out of the door to make sure no one was there.

He came out and went down the hall, but stopped when he came to the window and saw ORB.

He put his hand on the glass and gazed longingly at his old home, the home of his lover, his salvation.

He shook his head and looked down, dropping his hand, and continued down the hall; head down, pride swallowed.

As he was walking down he passed the cafeteria and saw Athrun, Luna, and Meyrin eating. He didn't see Gilbert so he walked in and sat down between Athrun and Luna.

Luna gasped and said, "Shinn! Are you ok?" "Not really." He replied. "Oh!" she exclaimed and hugged him.

He tensed at first, but then hugged her back and closed his eyes tightly. Meyrin and Athrun were looking sympathetic and Athrun patted him on the back.

When they stopped hugging Shinn was trying to stop the tears, he already cried WAY too many times, he didn't need to start breaking down and crying in the cafeteria of the _Minerva_!

He saw Rey come in, who gave him a puzzled yet relieved look as he came over. "So you're back." Was all he said.

Shinn nodded and Rey continued to give him a puzzled look. _'Why does he look on the verge of tears? And why are they looking sympathetic? Did that pilot die? I don't want to ask in front of _them_, I'll ask him later when it's just me and him.'_ He thought and nodded back and went to grab a tray.

"I'll go get you a tray ok?" Athrun said and Shinn nodded. "So, um, was it really that bad? I mean, did he," Luna didn't finish and stared into Shinn's Crimson eyes that no longer looked intimidating, but broken.

He didn't say anything and looked away. She regretted asking him and put her arm around him. He looked up and leaned against her for comfort.

Meyrin looked on with a smile on her face. _'They look so cute together, I wish me and Athrun had that relationship,' _she thought.

Athrun came back with a tray and set it before Shinn. He took one look and began shoveling food into his mouth, suddenly hungry.

"My my, you sure do have quite an appetite Shinn!"

He started choking when he heard his Captain say that and Athrun, Luna, and Meyrin looked up to see Gilbert Dullindal himself standing behind Shinn.

Athrun gave him a cold glare and Luna glared with disgust, along with her sister. Shinn didn't even turn around.

Dullindal smirked. "Did you see my note? Probably not, seeing as these three already know what just happened, I can assume." He said in a dark tone.

Shinn only nodded, still not looking at him.

"If you touch him again I swear I'll report you." Athrun spat, his emerald eyes a shade darker and colder.

Dullindal smirked again and put his hand on Shinn's shoulder. "I'm touching him, and there's nothing you can do about it."

As soon as Gil's hand touched Shinn he tensed and froze, Luna narrowed her eyes and swatted his hand away.

Gil gave her a threatening glare. "Do that again, young lady, and you'll be reduced to green-coat with your sister!" he said viciously and walked away.

Shinn let out a breath, pushed his tray out in front of him, and laid his head on the table.

"Oh, don't worry Shinn, he won't hurt you again, I promise!" Luna said. "Yeah, I promised Kira I wouldn't let him hurt you, and with him pulling that stunt, he's definitely not going to make me break my promise again." Athrun told him still in a cold tone.

"Yeah, we'll tell Captain Gladys, she has to believe us now!" Meyrin put in.

"Thanks guys." Shinn mumbled and Luna started to rub his back. He moaned slightly as she continued with a smile and Athrun chuckled.

Rey saw the whole thing and wondered more and more what was going on with his Captain and his friend.

* * *

**Back at ORB**

"What's the matter, Kira? You look worried." Cagalli said coming up to her brother.

"It's just, I have a feeling that something bad happened to Shinn." He told her, his amethyst eyes glittering with worry.

Cagalli's amber eyes softened as she said, "Look, Athrun is a good person, I'm sure he'll keep to his word."

"I know, but what if he just _can't _and Shinn gets hurt anyway? I wish I was there, because if he did do something, Shinn would need someone to comfort him." Kira said.

"Well, he has Athrun, but I don't think that's what you mean." Cagalli said.

He looked up at her and smiled. "Not exactly, they're not _that _close." He said.

"Why don't you call him?" she said. He brightened up, "Oh yeah, I forgot about that! I will, thanks Cags!" he said and practically ran to his room to get his phone.

She shook her head. _'A week after getting seriously injured he's running to his room to call his boyfriend.' _She thought and chuckled to herself.

She went to the control room where Lacus and Andy were. "So, did you and Kira finally talk yet?" she asked Lacus.

"Yes, and we both feel a lot better, I think." She said and smiled sweetly. Ahhh, Lacus-san is back!

Cagalli also smiled and said, "That's good, I'm glad my best friend is back." She said and Lacus blushed and they hugged.

"I'm sorry for acting so cruel, I don't know what happened to me, I just, felt so betrayed," Lacus said.

"I know same here, I apologized to Athrun a thousand times and you know what he did?" Cagalli said.

"What?" Lacus asked with a questioning look.

Cagalli grinned and showed Lacus her ring. "He proposed to me." She said, unable to hide the huge grin spread across her face.

Lacus gasped and looked excited as they looked at each other and squealed and hugged while jumping up and down like us girls do when we're happy and excited for each other.

"That's so wonderful Cagalli! I'm so happy for you." Lacus said.

"Thanks," Cagalli said, blushing. Andy came up to them after overhearing the whole thing.

"So, he finally asked the big question eh? Took him long enough!" he said and the girls chuckled.

"Yes, I can't believe it, every time I look at the ring I ask myself, 'What's that doing there?' and then remember what happened." Cagalli confessed and they all laughed.

* * *

Kira dialed Shinn's number and waited while it was ringing. He started to get impatient when it reached the third ring and still there was no answer from Shinn. He got his voicemail and said, "Hey Shinn, it's me, Kira, um, call me back when you get this message ok? I love you, bye." and hung up. 

He stared at the phone, a look of worry on his face, and decided to call back in 20 minutes if Shinn didn't call back first.

* * *

**-Author's Note: Well? How did you like this chappy? I know it's probably a lot better than the last chapter; I tried to make this chapter happy to brighten everyone up, tell me if I did a good job! Also if you have any suggestions for future chapters just tell me so I don't get the evil Writer's Block Disease! Also, I'd really really appreciate it if I got more reviews for some of my other stories, if you like randomness then check out When Purple Monkey's Attack and What Happens When A Talk Show Goes Wrong because they're pretty funny and random. I also moved my story Kiheada and Tigris to the Gundam Seed category because I think it will get more reviews here, it's a Yu Yu Hakusho and Gundam Seed crossover, it's pretty good, so please R&R!-**


	21. Chapter 21: Justice Shall Prevail!

**Chapter 21: Justice Shall Prevail!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own GSD or any characters. Grrrrr, I have to see a psychiatrist today! Oh well, tomorrow will be interesting…….**

**Warning: Major OOCness on Gilbert and Kira's part so BEWARE! **

**HA! I SAID IT! THERE! (Sticks tongue out) Lol……**

* * *

After they ate the young teenagers decided to cheer Shinn up by taking him to the simulation room and helping him to fight with only one arm.

"You're doing really well, Shinn." Athrun said. Shinn grinned smugly; some of his arrogance returned, and said, "Thanks, Zala."

"You'll be back to being our 'Super Ace' in no time Shinn-chan!" Luna said and beamed proudly.

Shinn blushed but still grinned, "Thanks, Luna, are you really sure?" he said.

"Of course! Even though you only have one arm you're still pretty good with your Gundam! I'm sure that after a while you can go back out and fight!" she said and Meyrin nodded her agreement.

"But until then you might want to stay by me, since I don't ever get to go out into battle! I have to stay in the Control Room and help you guys launch!" Mey said and pouted.

The others chuckled. "Yeah, that's gonna suck! I wanna get back out there!" he said. _'I wanna see Kira!'_ he thought but didn't say out loud. Athrun seemed to read his mind because he gave him a sort-of sympathetic glance and a smile.

Rey was watching them from the doorway and heard what they were saying. Even though his face was usually emotionless, there was a glint of confusion and curiosity at the moment.

Shinn then noticed Rey standing there and called out to him, "Hey Rey! Come on over!" and Rey walked over, nodding to Athrun and the girls.

"What's up?" Shinn asked, noticing the curious look in his eyes. "I was just wondering what happened earlier, why did you react that way to Captain Dullindal in the cafeteria?" Rey asked and the others looked to Shinn who twitched.

"Um, I don't really wanna talk about it." Shinn said and looked down. Rey's confused and curious expression grew stronger and he looked to the others for information.

"Let's just say that Gilbert gave Shinn his punishment and it wasn't at all fair." Athrun said, his tone a bit darker then he intended it to be.

Rey still looked confused yet knowing and he said bluntly, "So it's true? Captain Dullindal likes you more than as a Captain should like his Ace pilot?"

Shinn nodded and continued to look down and Luna sighed and said, "Let's not talk about it, it's so….depressing…and unfair! Just like this stupid war, I just hate it all!" in a sudden outburst.

The others looked at her at first in surprise and then had a knowing and agreeing look on their faces, except Rey, of course.

"Well, how about we just give Shinn some space." Meyrin said quietly. "I mean, I'm sure you want some peace and quiet, right?" she asked him.

"Yeah, and I want to call, um, someone." He said and glanced at Luna. She didn't know exactly Shinn's relationship to Kira, and if she did she'd only act awkward and weird around Shinn, so he told Athrun not to mention him.

She at first looked suspicious, wondering who this person was, but then waved it off and gave Shinn a hug as he went back to his room.

Rey went with him, walking silently beside him. "So what are you going to do?" he asked after a silence.

"I dunno." Shinn shrugged. "If I were you I'd just forget about it." Rey said making Shinn stop and stare at him in surprise and giving him a look that said, "WTF?"

"What? It won't do any good to broad about it, and you can't do anything about him anyway, so you should just get over it and act like nothing happened. If you keep sulking about and acting like your life is over then he'll take it as a weakness and only do it more." Rey said.

"How can I just forget about it and act like nothing happened though? I won't ever be able to forget about it!" Shinn shouted a little too loudly.

Rey's eye twitched and he said in an eerily calm voice, _"If you live in the past it will_ _control you and make you its slave, but if you move forward into your future you are no one's slave and no one can control you. You are your own person and you make decisions to affect everyone around you including yourself, you must always remember that." _and then left before Shinn could respond.

Shinn stood, absorbing this new information, wondering what exactly Rey meant, and then shrugged and went into his room.

He first expected to see Dullindal there, but he wasn't. _'Thank God, he's the very last person I want to see right now, or ever.' _He thought and went over to where his cell-phone was.

He had two messages from Kira and he quickly dialed his lover's number and waited for his answer.

"Shinn?" Kira said on the other line. Shinn smiled when he heard Kira's voice saying his name and said, "Yeah, it's me."

"Are you ok?" Kira asked in a worried tone.

"Not really, I wish you were here." Shinn said and sniffled.

"Oh, Shinn, did he hurt you? What happened, where's Athrun?" Kira asked.

"Yeah, but I don't want to talk about it right now, I don't know where Athrun is, but please don't be mad at him, it's not his fault, he couldn't stop him." Shinn said.

He heard Kira sigh and groan, "I can't believe I could let this happen." He mumbled, barely audible, to himself, but Shinn heard it.

"What do you mean?" Shinn asked, brows furrowed in question.

"I could've done something, I know I could've, I'm so sorry Shinn. I seem to be apologizing a lot to you huh?" Kira said.

"It's ok, Kira, Captain Gladys didn't listen to Athrun because she said there wasn't any proof, and that even if there was she couldn't exactly do anything about it or else we'd all be called traitors and killed." Shinn told him.

"I wish I was there right now, with you, are you able to go into battle?" Kira asked.

Shinn didn't answer.

"Shinn?" Kira said, confusion and worry in his voice.

"U-Um, I don't think so." Shinn stammered. Just then he heard the door slide open and looked up into the eyes of the person he feared the most at the moment.

Gilbert Dullindal.

He froze, his eyes wide. Kira's senses suddenly made him feel that something bad was happening, "Shinn? Shinn, what's wrong? Are you there?" he asked.

Before Shinn could answer Gil grabbed his cell phone and said, "Hello, Kira Yamato." and grinned.

Kira felt a wave of anger come over him and said angrily, "What did you do to Shinn?"

Gil chuckled and slid his hand down Shinn's cheek, who shuddered and jerked away, sending him a glare that hinted at fear.

"Well, well, well, quite protective aren't we?" Gil said to Kira.

Kira growled. "I'm going to get you for this." He said angrily through clenched teeth.

"Oh I'm so scared of the Ultimate Coordinator!" Dullindal said sarcastically. "You can't do anything to me, but I, however, can do whatever I want to Shinn." He said and grinned –evilly-

"DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH HIM YOU BASTARD!" Kira yelled very uncharacteristically as Gil went for Shinn. "NO don't!" Shinn yelled and tried to get out of Gil's grasp.

"You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to let your little boyfriend hear what we've been doing, Asuka, and watch you cry and beg for mercy and hear your boyfriend yell and scream! Of course he can yell and shout all he wants, but it's not going to do anything." Gilbert chuckled and pinned Shinn down as he laid the phone on the desk.

"STOP IT! KIRA!" Shinn yelled and tried to struggle free. "Calling for him won't help, Shinn!" Dullindal said and continued to grin. "Besides, don't you want to pilot your Gundam again? Don't you want to be back in battle with your friends and your gay lover? Hmmmm?" He added.

Kira heard everything and finally couldn't stand it. He closed his cell phone and ran to the hangar. "What are you doing?" Cagalli called after him.

"Saving Shinn!" he called back and jumped into his Gundam. "Let me launch!" he said to Andy and he shrugged and cleared him while Lacus and Cagalli looked at each other, worried and confused.

"He's going to kill you ya know! He can come over here and kill you!" Shinn threatened. "Let him try! I have a nice surprise for him!" Dullindal said.

"Why are you doing this?" Shinn asked him, red eyes suddenly threatening and defiant. He was tired of being frightened and sad; he was tired of being taken advantage of. He was tired of being weak, and now, he was pissed!

"Why? Because you need to learn respect! You need to listen to your superiors and obey them! You will do what I tell you and complete the Destiny Plan or I'll kill you myself!" Dullindal spat, noting the defiance and anger in Shinn's eyes.

'_Oh no he won't, he's not going to scare or intimidate me! I'm the superior one! I'm the stronger and smarter one! He must be taught a lesson!' _Gil thought.

Just then the siren sounded and Meyrin's voice came on the intercom: "Freedom Gundam approaching! I repeat: Freedom Gundam approaching and he is demanding to be let in!"

Dullindal smirked and got off of Shinn and then proceeded to drag him out of the room.

"What are you doing?" Shinn asked as he tried to wiggle free. But Gilbert only smirked and continued to drag him down the hall and into the Control Room.

Everyone gasped as they saw Shinn being dragged in by Dullindal and he shouted out, "Put the pilot on screen!" and they did as they were told.

Kira's angry SEED mode face appeared on screen and he demanded. "Let go of him, Dullindal!"

But Gilbert only smirked more and said, "Oh really now? Well here's what I say to that!" and took Shinn and kissed him roughly, making him gasp and try to struggle more.

Talia and Meyrin gasped and Athrun and Luna came running in and also gasped. Athrun saw Kira's angry face and also saw that his friend was in SEED mode and ran over to Dullindal and pulled him off Shinn who gasped and fell to the floor, trembling and in shock.

"KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF HIM!" both Athrun and Kira yelled at him and Kira blasted open the hangar. He dropped out of his Gundam as the people in the hangar could only stare with their mouths open, including Rey, who followed him angrily.

'_What's he doing here? Does he have a death wish?' _he thought and then Kira burst into the room, hardly out of breath, and he ran over to Dullindal and kicked him so quickly that everyone sat stunned.

Kira was so fast that when Talia blinked and opened her eyes back up she saw Dullindal fall down clutching his well, you know! And saw Kira standing over him looking angry.

Shinn saw this and could only stare as Kira turned to him and his eyes softened and he rushed over to him and hugged him tightly. Shinn clung to him, although he was still in shock, his eyes wide and his breathing hard as he shuddered.

Athrun went over to Talia and said, "Is that proof enough for you?" rather coldly and Luna stood stunned staring down at Kira and Shinn. Meyrin went over to her and they exchanged confused looks.

Talia then recovered and said, "Someone get Gilbert Dullindal out of here and lock him in a Prisoner Cell and call Zaft headquarters now!" and went over to Shinn and Kira.

She cleared her throat and Kira looked up, anger and resentment in his eyes. "I'm very sorry, I did not know that any of this was going on." She said and glanced at Athrun who came up also.

"Well now you do and it's too late." Kira said darkly and Talia's eyes softened and she said in a soft tone. "He won't hurt Shinn again, I swear. Now please, you, Shinn, Athrun, Luna, Meyrin, and Rey come to my office so we can sort things out." She said.

Rey came in right after Kira and saw the whole thing. He glared at the UC as he helped Shinn up and said to Talia, "He's in shock; he needs to see a doctor." And she nodded. "Of course," and motioned for a doctor to take Shinn away.

But Shinn clung to Kira and wouldn't let them touch him. "Shinn, it's gonna be alright, he won't hurt you anymore, I promise, now go with this doctor so you can feel better ok? I'll be with you as soon as I can," and tilted his head up and smiled, "I love you, Shinn."

Luna gasped as it all pieced together. _'Now I understand! I thought they were over! Oh my gosh, oh my gosh!' _she thought and shook her head as tears started to fall.

Shinn let the doctor's take him and Luna wanted to hug him and strangle him at the same time, but Meyrin's hands on hers held her back from doing any such thing and lead her after Talia.

Rey continued to glare at Kira who didn't seem to notice, or else just didn't care about it, as he followed Talia-san to her office.

* * *

Once inside she asked them to all sit down and there was a moment of grave silence. Then she sighed and said, "So, who wants to tell me what just happened and why?" she asked.

"I was talking on the phone with Shinn when Dullindal came into his room and proceeded to, um," he began but then struggled with the right words, Talia nodded to show she knew what he meant and he went on.

"And Dullindal was saying that he was going to let me hear what he was going to do to Shinn and Shinn protested. I became angered and got in my Gundam and came over here to stop him. And then you just saw what happened in the Control Room." He said.

"Yes, Athrun, what happened with Shinn and Dullindal earlier this day?" she said and turned to the blue-haired boy.

"Dullindal, um, raped Shinn." He said quietly and glanced at Kira, unable to read his expression; which was bad.

Rey's eyes actually widened in surprise and he glanced from Athrun to Kira.

Talia nodded and then turned back to Kira, "And what exactly is your relationship to Shinn Asuka?" she asked.

"I'm his boyfriend." He said and Rey then understood and returned to glaring at the UC. Luna looked away and tried to hold back the tears.

"I see, so, I understand that you and Shinn got in a fight where you confessed to him your identity, and then in battle sought revenge and managed to strike you down." She said and Kira nodded and she continued. "And then he wanted to make sure you were dead so demanded to come aboard the ORB Base. What happened then?" Talia asked him.

"At first he was still angry and still wanted me dead, but after a while he began to feel sorry and wanted to make sure I was alive, we made up and apologized, and then Shinn had to come back here." Kira told her.

"Ok, I was confused about what had happened between you two. Well, I'm going to see that Gilbert Dullindal sees justice in the form of swift punishment for his actions. You will be pardoned for the offense of attacking an enemy Captain under the circumstances, and none of you will be punished for anything done over the past few hours." Talia said.

"Thank you, ma'am." Kira said. He glanced at Athrun who glanced at him, their eyes met, and Athrun quickly looked away.

Rey noticed this and asked, "So what are you going to do about an enemy soldier on board the Minerva?"

Kira turned on him and Talia looked to him and said, "I expect that after seeing Shinn he will go back to ORB, right?" she said and looked to Kira.

"Yes." He nodded. He actually wanted to take Shinn back with him, but he obviously couldn't ask that now, especially with everyone else in the room.

He sensed some tension between himself and Rey, and also from the girl with short red hair. He didn't exactly know who these people were, but guessed that the blonde that just spoke was Rey, Shinn's friend he often talked about, and the girl was Lunamaria, who Shinn rarely ever talked about in fear of Kira thinking that he was cheating on him.

Talia nodded again and dismissed them all. Kira hung back and Athrun did too but Kira nodded to him and he left with Luna and Meyrin.

"Um, I was going to ask you, is there any way that Shinn could come back to ORB with me and no longer be apart of Zaft?" Kira asked her.

"I doubt it, it would be up to Shinn, and if he did he would be branded a traitor and an enemy among Zaft." She told him.

He looked downcast and said, "Oh," his amethyst eyes back to normal, saddened.

Talia noticed this and said, "But, if Shinn really wants to go, I can wave off the traitor brand in light of the circumstances." and smiled at him as he looked up and smiled back.

"Thank you," he said and then left.

* * *

**-Author's Note: Ok this is long and I have to go soon so I'll just upload this and then upload and angst poem in Shinn's POV! Sooooo, how'd you like? I wrote this straight from my head, with no warning, so that's why it's longer than usual and a little messy, eh heh. I hope you guys liked it; I even put up an OOC warning! So now I don't feel so bad, but I do feel bad about Shinn, but at least Gil is getting his punishment right? I swear I'll be nice to Gil in my other stories to make it up to you guys! I didn't mean for this to happen! Well, please review and tell me what you think, flames are welcome because I'm a pyromaniac who loves fire, although not much will change if you do flame me, just to let ya know, he he. Well, see you next time!-**


	22. Chapter 22: Goodbye Zaft, Hello ORB

**Chapter 22: Goodbye Zaft, Hello ORB**

**Disclaimer: Um, I DON'T WANT TO SAY IT!**

**Shinn: Kiheada.Ray.T. doesn't own me, in fact, NO ONE OWNS ME! So there!**

**Kira: (Sweat drops) Uhhhh, she doesn't own the series either or else Gil would BURN IN HELL FOR ALL ETERNITY! (Cough cough) I'm ok now.**

**Me: (Sweat drops)…..WARNING: OOCNESS! (I know it's a little late for that, eh heh)**

_I'm so very sorry to say that I will only be able to update my stories on Sundays because my mom doesn't like me spending so much time on the computer so restricted me to only an hour on Sundays to upload my stories and an hour each day to chat with my friends. (Pouts and cries)_

* * *

Shinn was mortified and no longer wanted to live to see the light of day. After all he's been through, he finally had enough. He wished he could just take his life right then and there, but Kira would see him soon, and he knew it would break his heart to see his lover commit suicide.

He was put on a calming drug to get him out of shock, but he wouldn't talk to anyone or even respond to anything. He was beyond the breakdown point and probably wouldn't recover enough to ever be the same as he was before everything happened.

The nurses and doctors were worried that he would slip into a coma or that he'd never talk again, and they told that to Kira when he came to see Shinn.

"Hey," Kira said quietly as he stood by Shinn's bed, the said boy looked to him but said nothing. "They said you wouldn't talk to anyone or respond to anything." Kira continued.

His expression was unreadable, which meant that he was dealing with so many emotions that there was no way he could show them all. Sorrow, guilt, anger, resentment, fear, and love, were a few of the emotions he was feeling.

He knew that Shinn was the same, only more sad, afraid, and angry then anything else besides embarrassment and remorse. His expression was also unreadable, but the forlorn look in his no-longer intimidating red eyes told Kira that all he really wanted was a hug.

Kira sat down on the bed and took Shinn into his arms and Shinn embraced him, closing his eyes and breathing him in. they sat like this for a very long time, neither wanting to move.

Athrun saw them embrace through a slit in the door and he had to look away in guilt.

'_This was all my fault, if only I had protested _before_ Dullindal took him away, maybe things would've been different. Kira didn't seem too angry with me, then again, I couldn't exactly read his expression. Maybe Shinn told him it wasn't my fault; surely Kira couldn't be angry with me when I had no power over the situation? But I gave him my word, I promised him I wouldn't let this happen, and I almost failed again, I suppose I understand if he' s mad at me.' _Athrun thought to himself as he walked down the hallway.

He stopped suddenly when he saw Rey glaring at the door where Shinn and Kira were in.

"What's wrong?" he asked the seemingly always emotionless blonde. He looked jealous and angry, actually, which surprised Athrun and made his eyebrows furrow in question.

"Why didn't I know of this?" Rey asked, anger clearly in his usually calm and emotionless voice.

"Know of what? About Kira?" Athrun asked.

"Yes, I thought Shinn hated the Freedom pilot and wanted him dead." Rey said.

"Well, he did, especially when he found out that the pilot was Kira himself, who was his secret lover. Kira confessed it to him on the phone before the battle and Shinn was pretty pissed at him for betraying him like that." Athrun told him.

"So they eventually made up and became lovers again?" Rey asked, looking incredulous.

"Yes, weren't you paying attention when Kira was explaining all this?" Athrun asked, slightly annoyed.

Rey shot him a cold glare. "Of course, but that doesn't sound like Shinn at all! None of this sounds like Shinn, nor Dullindal, are you sure this wasn't all fake?" Rey asked.

Athrun's jaw dropped and his eyes went wide, "How can you say that? Of course it wasn't fake! Couldn't you tell by the way Shinn acted around Gilbert?" Athrun asked, shocked that Rey was saying this.

Rey twitched irritatedly. "All I'm saying is that Shinn has become pathetic and weak, not at all how he was at the beginning of this annoying ordeal." He said through clenched teeth.

"He's been through a lot, and I'm sure he doesn't want your pity, or your insults." Athrun spat and walked away. It took all he had to restrain himself from hitting the blonde who bluntly said what Athrun was thinking at first, when Shinn cried the first time at ORB.

But Athrun realized that it was only Shinn's way of finally breaking down after his family's death and then Stellar's. He understood Shinn's pain and knew that Rey was wrong to say that about him.

Rey glared at him until Athrun turned a corner. Then he turned back to the door which was slightly open and saw that Shinn and Kira were still hugging.

'_Disgusting, how could Shinn cling to him after he killed his family and that girl he risked his life to protect? I don't get it, why is _he _so special not to suffer from Shinn's wrath? He even had sex with that slut; I bet Kira doesn't know about that, I bet no one knows about that. Maybe I should tell him...' _Rey thought and smirked to himself, a plan forming in his wicked mind.

"Shinn, I want to ask you something," Kira told the boy when they ended the much-needed embrace.

"What?" Shinn asked quietly. His voice was weak and uncertain, as if he was mute the whole time and just realized he could talk.

"Do you want to come back to ORB with me and join up with us?" Kira asked and held his breath.

Shinn didn't respond immediately. He hesitated and thought, _'But I'd be branded a traitor if I left Zaft. Then again, I can't exactly stay after everyone knows what happened, I'm sure Luna is pissed right now, she thought me and Kira were over! I hope she doesn't tell him, if she does, I might as well kill myself.'_

He saw that Kira was looking expectant and said, "Umm, but won't I be branded a traitor and enemy to Zaft?"

"Talia told me she'd wave the brand off considering the circumstances if you wanted to leave Zaft after what happened." Kira told him.

"Oh, well then, I guess, I have no where else to go," Shinn said, but still sounded uncertain.

"Are you afraid Cagalli will be mad at us if you returned?" Kira asked him, a small smile tugged at his mouth and amusement played in his eyes.

Shinn nodded and said, "I don't think I'll be able to fight for a while,"

"It's ok, take your time, I'd rather you not go into battle anyways." Kira said as the smile grew.

Shinn's mouth twitched into a small smile that quickly left and he hugged Kira tightly. "I mean, I'd be too embarrassed. I don't think I'll ever be able to show my face in battle again." He whispered and blushed, burying his face in Kira's shirt so the older coordinator wouldn't notice.

Kira resisted the urge to chuckle and tried to tilt the other boy's chin up to look at his face. Shinn jerked away and continued to bury his face in his lover's shirt, not wanting him to see the embarrassed look on his face that matched his eyes.

"Shinn, come on, I'm sure no one will want to antagonize you after what you've been through." Kira told him.

"Rey would, he said that I should just forget about it and let it go, but I can't! I don't think I'll ever be able to trust anyone again, not even you!" Shinn said and his voice was muffled.

Kira's eyes hardened when he heard this. He didn't like this Rey person, especially if he said that to Shinn.

'_I can't believe he's his friend, how could he say that? I'm going to have to talk to him and Athrun…' _Kira thought.

When Rey heard what Shinn said, he sat stunned. _'Well yes I think he's pathetic and weak, but I wouldn't antagonize him, and I was right when I told him to let it go? Now that egotistical Ultimate Coordinator probably hates me, oh well, that will soon change when I tell him Shinn's dirty little secret…' _Rey thought and left.

Right as Rey left Kira turned to see him walk past the door. His eyes narrowed and he felt Shinn move and heard him say, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Kira told him as he turned back to Shinn who had a worried look on his face.

"Come on; let's tell Talia that you want to come back with me so we can leave." Kira added and they got up and went towards her office.

"Are you still mad at Athrun?" Shinn stopped him and asked him before Talia-san's door.

Kira was caught off-guard. _'How did he know?' _he asked himself but said, "Kind of, but don't worry, I won't yell at him or anything, why?"

Shinn shrugged and opened the door. Talia was sitting at her desk looking over some papers; she looked up when she heard the door open.

"Well hello boys. Shinn, are you feeling better? I'm so sorry about what happened, I should've listened to Athrun." She said.

"It's ok, I guess, um, I want to go back with Kira, he said I wouldn't be branded a traitor and enemy to Zaft if I left." Shinn replied.

"Yes, that's right. I'm sorry you feel this way, Shinn, I hope that you won't hold anything against Zaft for what he did to you." Talia said. A hint of regret showed on her face, along with sadness over the loss of a Captain and an Ace pilot.

"I don't, and I'm sorry for leaving you like this, I hope you won't hold anything against me." He said.

"Of course not. Now, when will you be departing?" she asked.

"Um," he said and turned to Kira. "As soon as we can, I suppose, but I'm not sure if Shinn wants to pilot his Gundam back." He said and looked to Shinn.

"I can try," Shinn said and then they looked to Talia.

"Ok then, take your time on saying good-bye to everyone, and please know that I am truly sorry for not believing anyone when they tried to warn me of this." Talia said and Shinn nodded.

Kira smiled and shook her hand and then the two boys left. She sighed and decided to look for another pilot and Captain.

* * *

They saw Luna, Meyrin, and Athrun in the cafeteria. Shinn went over to them and Kira followed slowly behind, not wanting to interrupt or anything.

Athrun saw him and decide that it was time for "the talk" and went over to Kira.

"Um, Luna," Shinn began. She turned on him and first glared but then saw the look on his face and looked puzzled.

"What's going on?" she asked. "I'm going back with Kira to ORB, I'm no longer a Zaft pilot." He told her.

She gasped and stood up. "But, why? And why didn't you tell me that you and him were back together?" she said, glancing at the handsome young man who was talking to Athrun.

"Because, I just can't stay here, and I'm sorry for not telling you, Luna, we made up back at ORB, I hope you're not mad at me." He said.

She was about to say she was, but the look on his handsome young face almost made her melt. "Of course not, and I won't tell him about us, if that's what you mean as well." She said.

He gave a sheepish grin and said, "Thanks." and then hugged her. She hugged him back and saw Kira glance at them.

Meyrin also hugged him and said, "Don't forget about us! Please call us or something, and I'm sorry if I was ever mean to you." She said and smiled.

"I won't, and it's ok." He told her. He looked at Luna for the last time and smiled at her and she blushed and smiled back, then he quickly kissed her on the cheek and went over to Kira and Athrun.

"I saw that." Kira said, sounding serious yet playful.

Shinn blushed and said, "Sorry, I just wanted to say good-bye."

Kira chuckled, "It's ok, Shinn." He said and ruffled the younger coordinator's hair.

Athrun's eyes glittered with amusement as he chuckled when Shinn swatted his hand away and fixed his hair. "Well, good-bye Zala, sorry for being such a jerk to you, and thanks, for everything." Shinn said and hugged him.

Athrun was at first surprised, but then hugged him back. He saw that Kira had to look away, a hint of jealousy in his amethyst purple eyes.

After they were done Shinn waved to them and left, and saw a tear run down Luna's cheek as she waved back to him.

"So you and Athrun talked, did you forgive him?" Shinn asked.

"Yes." Kira answered. It was then that he saw Rey waiting for them in the hangar, the said blonde walked over to them.

"Um, Kira, can I talk to you for a second?" Rey asked.

Shinn narrowed his eyes in suspicion and glanced at Rey and at Kira, but then saw Kira's eyes darken and decided to let them talk. "I'll go and start up Impulse." He said and left, smirking slightly.

The two boys glared at each other until Shinn was out of earshot, and then Kira spoke, "What do you want?"

"To tell you a little secret about your little lover boy." Rey said. Kira noted jealousy and anger in Rey's voice and asked, "What do you mean? What secret?"

Rey smirked. "You know Luna?" he asked. "Yeah." Kira said. "Do you know what he did with her?" Rey asked again.

Kira's eyes narrowed in suspicion as he said, "No, what?"

"They had sex, Kira, after you told him who you were; I bet he hasn't told you that now has he?" Rey said, not able to hide the sneer and grin.

Kira at first didn't want to believe him, but then pieced it all together. "Oh really now? I thought you were his friend, why are you telling me this?" he asked.

"Because I thought I owed it to you." Rey half-lied. Kira smirked and said, "And because you were jealous." He almost laughed when he saw Rey narrow his eyes and say defiantly, "No." but knew he was lying.

Kira still smirked as he said, "Well, thanks for telling me, bye." and left to jump into his cockpit.

Rey twitched as he watched him go, but then shrugged and headed back to the cafeteria.

* * *

"What was that all about?" Shinn asked Kira when they launched.

Kira looked slightly angry and Shinn could only guess that Rey told him about Luna.

"We'll talk about it when we get back." was all Kira said.

Shinn resisted the urge to slam his fist on the control and scream as he noted anger in his lover's voice.

'_Great, just great! SOMEONE FREAKING KILL ME!' _he thought.

Kira saw him looking forlorn and unhappy about this and guessed that Shinn knew what happened. "Look, I'm not mad, I mean, that was after I told you who I was. But you could've told me, especially since you didn't want us to lie to each other or keep any secrets from each other." Kira said bitterly.

Shinn sighed and said, "I know, Kira, I'm sorry." And looked utterly defeated.

Kira's eyes softened but he didn't say anything as they glided in silence back to ORB.

* * *

**-Author's Note: Ok, I have to go, like, half an hour ago! Tell me what you think and please don't be mad at me! I hope you guys liked it, the next chapter will be better, and then we'll go into the future! (Slaps head for putting spoiler)-**


	23. Chapter 23: Life after the War

**Chapter 23: Life after the War**

**Disclaimer: Uhhhh, me no own-age. (Sniffles).**

**Shinn: WEEEEE KIRA FORGIVED ME! I'M HAPPY! WOOOOHOOO! (Running around all over the place)**

**Kira: (Sweat drop) and I gave him some Happy Pills…….eh heh….maybe _too_ many happy pills……**

**Me: (giggles and runs around with Shinn) WEEEEEE HAPPY PILLS ROCK!**

**Kira: Well, this is about a year after the end of the war, Dullindal, Talia-san, Meer, and Rey all died like in the series, and Kiheada.Ray.T. added a twist to the ending, instead of going to the memorial right after the battle and Talia, Dullindal, and Rey's deaths, she makes us wait a year and then has the memorial, and of course it's gonna be different, so bear with her please! And also you guys get to guess what happened to the rest of us! MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (Evil laugh)**

**Me and Shinn: (stop running and sweat drop, then run away from Kira-san who also sweat drops)**

* * *

Shinn stood in front of his little sister's grave marker, the wind whipping his hair and jacket all around. He set the lilies where the old flowers used to be on the stone. He had come to replace the flowers of his family's graves and say goodbye, once more.

"I'm sure she's happy, Shinn, happy that you're finally happy." Kira said coming up to stand beside him. It's been a year since the war, and both boys' wounds have completely healed.

They stayed with each other through and after the war, and actually got married four months afterward! (A/N: Yeah you knew that was gonna happen!)

Athrun and Cagalli were happily married with two children, and often visited Shinn and Kira. Of course, with Cagalli being the Chairwoman of ORB and Athrun being the Head Representative of Zaft, their lives were very busy, but not too busy for family and friends.( A/N: You knew that was coming too).

Lacus got over the whole Shinn and Kira thing and also got married, and is friends with both boys to this day. Luna also got over Shinn being with Kira and her and Meyrin were happily married as well (not to each other though) with kids.

Everyone seemed to live happily ever after, unbelievably, after all!

"Thanks, now let's go home, it's f-f-freezing out here!" Shinn said and shivered, making Kira chuckle. They walked back to the car, with Kira's arm around Shinn's shoulders. It was a quiet drive home, and once they arrived Kira prepared dinner.

"Hey Kira, do you ever miss your family?" Shinn dared to ask him as he was cooking. Kira stopped what he was doing and didn't move for a second or two.

"I haven't really thought about it, I mean of course you met mom, but I never really thought about my actual birth family. I've always considered my friends as family." He said after a while.

"Really?" Shinn asked again. "Yeah" Kira said. Just then there was a knock on the door. "I'll get it." Shinn said and went towards the door.

"Hey." Athrun said as Shinn opened the door, Cagalli right beside him. "Hey, what's up?" he asked as he let them in. "Do you know what day it is?" Athrun asked. "Uhhhh, September 7th?" Shinn guessed.

Athrun chuckled, "It's the day you injured Kira in that battle, remember? All hell broke loose and a few days later you were right next to him in the infirmary." Athrun said. "Oh yeah! How could I forget?" Shinn said.

Kira overheard and came into the living room to sit with them. "Yeah, amazing how it's been a year since then, so much has happened." Cagalli said. "Yeah, I remember how mad I was that I couldn't fight for almost three weeks because I was in that stupid cast, and almost every day I practically begged Kira to let me fight alongside him." Shinn said.

"And how me and Lacus finally talked to each other and worked everything out." Kira said and remembered their conversation like it was yesterday.

* * *

You know what that means: -**_FLASHBACK!-_**

_Lacus walked nervously into the room and saw Kira sitting up, he saw her and put the book down he was reading. "Hi." He said. "Hi." She replied. "Look, I'm sorry about everything I put you through, I didn't mean to cause you so much pain." He began. 'Good, you should be," she said. "You won't ever forgive me and Shinn, will you?" he asked quietly, looking into her eyes._

_She hesitated before asking, "Why did you hide him from me and cheat on me like that?" "I didn't mean to, we met and got to know each other, the next thing I knew, I woke up beside him, I didn't know if I should tell you or not, and I didn't tell him. I was keeping a lot of things to myself and lying to both of you, but I guess it all back to bite me in the –ass-." He said._

"_Yes, it sure has." Lacus said. "I'm really sorry Lacus, I made a lot of mistakes and now I'm paying for it, please forgive me, or at least forget me and be yourself again. Cags and Athrun are worried about you, Lacus, and so am I, I don't want you to be bitter and angry because of me, I want you to be happy again, no matter what." Kira said._

_She took a moment to think about what he said. "I know, I don't know what happened to me, I guess when I heard about you and Shinn I just finally snapped, but hearing you say that and apologize to me makes me feel better, I'm sorry I turned on you instead of thinking about it calmly and rationally like I usually do." She said finally._

"_Thanks Lacus promise me you'll stay happy and always be you; the calm, strong, kind, wise, beautiful songstress I met in the first war." Kira said and they both blushed._

"_I promise, promise me you'll be happy, no matter what, and you'll tell the truth, even if it hurts." She said. He smiled, "I promise." He said and they hugged and he kissed her on the cheek._

"_I never forget about us, lacus, and I never will." He said looking deep into her eyes. "Me neither." She said and smiled sweetly. "There's my Lacus." Kira said when she smiled._

_**-End Flashback-**_

* * *

****

"Yep, and after that everything returned to normal, well, except you were still in the infirmary for three and a half more weeks." Cagalli said. "Yeah." Kira said. "Hey, did you guys know that the veterans from the war are all summoned to meet for a memorial at ORB?" Athrun asked. "No, when is it?" Shinn asked. "The day the war officially ended last year. I already talked to Yzak and Dearka, they're gonna go, and me and Cagalli are planning on going as well." Athrun said.

"Oh wow, I'd like to go, how about you Shinn?" Kira asked him. "Sure, that'd be great." Shinn said. "I should ask if Luna and Meyrin are going." He added.

"There's also gonna be recognition to all who were also in the first war. Lacus is even gonna sing!" Cagalli told them. "Wow, I can't wait, should we wear our uniforms?" Shinn asked. "Of course! I was just about to tell you." Athrun said and he and Cags shared a smile.

"What?" Kira asked after seeing the exchange. "Oh nothing, you'll see at the memorial, there's also gonna be a building with our restored Gundams and everything in it." Cagalli told them.

"Cool, what a way to bring back memories!" Shinn responded. "Yep, I'm sure everyone will be in tears by the time it's over and no one will want to leave." Kira said.

The others nodded their heads in agreement. Kira remembered all the people that were lost to both tragic wars, and was glad that they would be recognized and get the proper burial they deserved. He knew it was gonna be tough, remembering everything that happened and having to relive it, but he knew he had to do it, he knew that he wanted to pay his respects to everyone, and see how they were doing after the war.

He knew that the people of Earth and PLANTS will always remember these two wars and the lives it cost, and the people who helped to end it, if he didn't go, it would seem like he regretted everything, which he didn't.

As hard as the two wars were, they changed his life and made him a better person. He got to meet a lot of people who taught him things he would've never learned anywhere else, and he was glad.

Kira Yamato knew that he wouldn't be the same, and he was happy.

* * *

**-Author's Note: Weeeell, was that good? I'm sorry for the long wait! I hope this was good, please tell me what you think! Flames are even accepted, even though I won't do anything about it! He he! Well, I have to go now, so please review and thanks for all who have reviewed so far, I LOVE YOU!-**


	24. Chapter 24: A Memorial for Heroes

**Chapter 24: A Memorial for Heroes**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Seed or Gundam Seed Destiny but I do own this particular fan fiction story about the main characters Kira Yamato (who I don't own), and Shinn Asuka (who I also don't own), nor do I own any other characters; unfortunately.**

_Wow! This fic is almost done! This isn't the last chapter, but after the last chappy I will post some chapters with bloopers in them because I love bloopers! Also there will be some Ending Credit songs at the end as well, so stay tuned and please review! Thanks to everyone!_

* * *

It was the day of the memorial; it didn't start until 2:30, so Kira and Shinn got ready for the memories that would flood back to them.

"Are you sure you want to do this Shinn?" Kira asked his husband (A/N: EEEEE!!!! (Squealing like a total fangirl)).

"As sure as anything, I know it's gonna be difficult, but this war has touched so many lives, and those lives will all be gathered at the memorial. I have to see everyone and know how they're holding up." Shinn said.

"Yeah, I know what you mean, and I'm sure everyone would like to know what happened to us." Kira laughed.

"Yeah, and I bet they'll give you the Nobel Peace Prize or something." Shinn joked.

"I didn't do that much, there were a lot of other people that helped out and fought for their lives, and some lost them, I almost lost mine a few times." Kira said and looked Shinn in the eyes.

"Of course you did a lot! If it weren't for you the Earth Alliance would've been destroyed and we'd all be ruled by PLANTS and Logos and Cosmos!" Shinn exclaimed, ignoring Kira's hint.

Kira blushed but didn't say anything, Shinn smiled and kissed him. "C'mon, we'd better change into our uniforms." He said when they stopped. The two boys (now men) changed and then headed for the Memorial, meeting up with Athrun and Cagalli when they arrived.

"Hey!" Athrun said as he motioned to them. Yzak and Dearka were with them and they all shook hands. "So this is the famous Shinn Asuka? What they say is true, his eyes are intimidating!" Dearka joked while the others laughed and Shinn blushed.

"Shinn!" he heard a familiar voice call out. He turned to see Lunamaria and Meyrin Hawke coming over to him. She hugged him and he hugged her back.

"I can't believe we're all here! This is so exciting!" she burst, clearly excited. "Yeah, there are so many familiar faces, and some unfamiliar ones." Athrun said and looked into the distance.

The others looked to where he was looking and saw Lacus Clyne and a man coming toward them.

"Lacus-san! You came! And you brought your husband too!" Cagalli squealed and they hugged. "Yes, everyone, meet my husband, Rowan Sterling (totally made up name)." Lacus said.

"Hello everyone, I've heard so much about all of you!" Rowan said. "Of course I've already met Cagalli and Athrun, so who might you be?" he asked Kira.

"Kira Yamato-Asuka." Kira replied. Yes, they took each other's last name! (Squeals again) GAY PEOPLE RULE AND TOTALLY HAVE THE RIGHT TO GET MARRIED AMEN!! Sorry, on with the story:

"Ahhhh, Mr. Yamato, Lacus has told me all about you." Rowan said in almost a creepy tone. Shinn narrowed his eyes and said, "I'm Shinn Asuka-Yamato." And Rowan's eyebrows went up. "Ohhhh, so I see, well hello, Lacus has told me lots about you too." He said and smiled creepily.

Shinn tried to smile, but the memories of Gilbert Dullindal rushed to his head when he saw that smile. Kira moved closer to him as Rowan moved on to Yzak.

"Yzak Joule," Yzak said and Rowan nodded and then looked to Dearka. "Dearka Elsman, at your service!" Dearka said and bowed, Yzak rolled his eyes and the others chuckled.

Rowan seemed a bit annoyed but still managed to smile. "And who might you be, miss?" he asked Luna. "Lunamaria Hawke, but you can call me Luna, and this is my sister, Meyrin." She replied and he smiled at them and said, "Now you two I haven't heard of, but it is still nice to meet you." They nodded and smiled back.

"So now you've met everyone! Wow, it feels so good to see you all again, especially here!" Lacus said and glanced at Kira.

"Yes, I'm glad we could all make it." Athrun said. "Wouldn't miss it for the world." Kira joked and the others chuckled at the ironic humor. "Well then, let's see if we can find anyone else from our little gang." Cagalli said and they started to walk in no particular direction.

"So what do you think of that Rowan guy?" Shinn asked Kira in a whisper. "I'm not so sure, he seems kind of displeased around us though, either he doesn't like what Lacus was telling him, or he's against gays." Kira replied.

"I think it's both." Shinn said. "Whispering about Rowan?" Athrun asked, as he came up beside Shinn. The others were ahead of them, so they were able to talk quietly to each other without being heard.

"Yeah." They said, giving a sheepish look. Athrun chuckled softly, "Yeah, I'm not so sure why Lacus married him, he doesn't really seem her type, but then again, you two definitely clash and yet here you are." He said and they blushed and glanced at each other as Athrun chuckled.

"But really, I'm sure he's a good guy, we shouldn't assume anything about him, because Lacus wouldn't marry anyone she didn't love, right?" Athrun said, looking at Kira. "I wouldn't think so, I mean, she seemed normal during the war and after, after me and her talked and all." Kira said and they gave some uneasy looks toward the songstress who was laughing and looking quite like herself.

Shinn grinned slyly at Kira and poked him in the ribs, "Awww, someone still cares about Lacus-san." He joked and Kira blushed and turned to him, "Well she's my friend, I can care right?" he asked hastily, seeing a hint of something in Shinn's crimson eyes. Shinn laughed harder as he said, "Kira I was just joking, gosh!" and Kira turned red and glared at him as Athrun started laughing too.

"What's with all the laughing back here? You guys exchanging inside jokes that I should get in on or what?" Cags asked, falling behind and coming next to her twin brother.

"No, we're just talking about Rowan and Lacus." Athrun said. "And teasing Kira." Shinn said and Kira glared at him but then smiled as he shook his head.

"Oh, I don't really like him, he's just too much of a gentleman, ya know? He seems somehow, oh I dunno, fake, don't you think?" she asked them and they nodded. "But I respect Lacus's decision, and I'm sure he's great, I guess we just care too much for her huh?" she added and they nodded again.

"Especially Kira." Shinn said and chuckled. "So, you seemed quite fond of Luna when you two hugged!" Kira retorted. "Well yeah, it was just a hug!" Shinn responded, a little annoyed now. "Uh huh, riiight, I didn't even get to hug Lacus!" Kira said.

Athrun sighed and shook his head, knowing that the two boys/men would start an argument like they always do. "See what I mean, I don't know how you guys live with each other when you constantly fight, especially with this one's big ego!" Athrun said and ruffled Shinn's hair.

"Hey! Stop!" Shinn said and swatted Athrun's hand away while Kira laughed. Cagalli giggled and teased, "But you're just too cute!" and pinched his cheeks. "Quit! Kira!" Shinn whined and Kira said, "Ok, ok, stop messing with my husband, only I get to do that now." making Shinn glare at him but then go back to normal.

"Hey guys, come on! It's Murrue-san!" Lacus called to them as Murrue Ramius smiled and waved, Neo beside her. (A/N: I had to have them together, IT'S JUST SO RIGHT!)

"Murrue-san!" Kira said and went over to her and hugged her and also hugged Neo. "It's great to see you guys, how have you been?" he asked. "It's great to see you too! We're good, look," Murrue replied and showed them her ring while Neo/Mwu blushed.

"Oh cool! That's so great! Congratulations!" Kira exclaimed as Shinn came up. "Um, hi, my name is Shinn Asuka-Yamato." He said and shook their hands. "Ohhhh, so this is the young man that captured our Kira's heart? Nice to meet you Shinn, I've heard so much about you!" Murrue said and Shinn blushed as Kira smiled and blushed lightly as well.

"Yes, congratulations to you as well I suppose!" Mwu/Neo said. Then came an awkward silence before Rowan cleared his throat and said, "Hello, I am Rowan Sterling, Lacus Clyne's new husband." And put his hand out for Murrue to shake.

"Oh yes, I've heard of you, moving up in the Clyne Faction, I see, how wonderful!" Murrue said and smiled warmly _'I bet he's only after her for the money and recognition.' _Neo/Mwu thought but said, "Hello, the name's Neo, or Mwu La Flaga as everyone insists." and also shook his hand.

"Ahhh, I've heard about you as well, I thought you died in the first Bloody Valentine War?" Rowan said with a puzzled look on his face. "Well, yes, I suppose, but here I am now! Somehow I managed to survive, but I had my memory erased, so this dear woman is helping me to remember everything about myself." Mwu said and chuckled.

"I see." Rowan said and smiled. "Oh, I think they're about to start the ceremony, we'd better find our seats." Lacus said and they all followed her to a large table that had name plates on them.

Kira was by Lacus, Shinn next to Kira, Athrun next to Shinn, Cagalli next to Athrun, Yzak next to Cagalli, Dearka next to Yzak, Meyrin sat across from Athrun, Luna sat across from Shinn, and Rowan was next to Luna, beside Lacus, in a huge circle.

Everyone seemed to be taking their seats and soon the auditorium became quiet as a man came up to the microphone and said, "Hello, and welcome to ORB's Memorial Service!" and everyone clapped. "I would now like to ask Mrs. Cagalli Yula Attha, ORB's current Representative, to come up and speak." He said and Cagalli went up to the microphone as everyone clapped and cheered.

"Hello, I would like to welcome you all to ORB, we will now begin the service with a song from Lacus Clyne-Sterling." She said and Lacus smiled and came on the stage. "Hello everyone, I'm going to sing a song I recently wrote just for this event!" she said and began singing in a soft tone.

Everyone fell quiet as they listened to the words, there were a few tears shed, some couples held each other close and smiled warmly, Kira held Shinn's hand under the table and smiled at him and they blushed yet again, Cagalli came back to their table and sat with Athrun, smiling at each other and holding hands, Luna glanced a few times at Shinn, and Meyrin glanced at Athrun (their husbands weren't there).

Rowan, however, seemed unmoved and slightly impatient, and glanced at everyone at the table from time to time.

When the song was over, everyone clapped and some stood and whistled, Lacus curtsied and waved, smiling, and went back to her seat as Cagalli came back up.

"We are all here for our own reasons, but one thing is for sure: Many people died in the past two wars, and many people saved the lives of innocents. We are here to recognize those people, so first we will recognize the ones who fought for peace that are still alive, then we will go outside to hold a service for the dead." She began.

Shinn glanced at Kira, giving him a cocky smirk and whispered, "Here comes the Nobel Peace Prize, Kira-san." to which Kira smiled and gave a sheepish look at his young husband.

"Starting in the first war, when the Earth Alliance dropped Junius Seven on the moon, with many innocent people dieing and the Earth Alliance declaring war on Zaft, there was one sixteen year old boy who, after his mother died on Junius Seven, enlisted in Zaft and became an Elite. His father, Chairman of Zaft Patrick Zala, did all he could to build Zaft's defenses and to protect PLANTS while his son was at war." She began and many people started clapping because they already knew who she was talking about.

"He did everything he could to protect his friends, family, and the many innocents of PLANTS while on the _Versailius_, with Captain Raw Le Crueze. He fought many battles, even against his own best friend, and after countless battles and saving many people, he joined the Clyne Faction with Kira Yamato, and ended the war after a brave attempt of stopping the Genesis from destroying the PLANTS.

"Then when the second war approached, he became my bodyguard under the name of Alex Dino, and then once again joined Zaft. After again battling to bring about peace, he again deserted Zaft to join ORB with Meyrin Hawke, and once again, with Kira Yamato, ended the war once and for all.

"His name is Athrun Zala, and he is a true hero. Please come up and receive this award, Athrun." Cagalli said and Athrun rose to cheering, clapping, whistling, and many happy faces to receive his award and a kiss from Cagalli.

"Also from the first war, he was a normal coordinator on Heliopolis, when Zaft attacked. He saw his childhood best friend, Athrun Zala, and rescued Captain Murrue Ramius of the Archangel. It was then that he and his friends, Mirillia Haww, Sai Argyle," here she said the names of the others (I forgot Tolle and Kuzzy's last name).

"Were captured and put aboard the Archangel of the Earth Alliance. After seeing his amazing skills as the Ultimate Coordinator, he then became pilot of the Strike, which was the only one not captured by Zaft. He fought for his friends and family, and for the many innocent lives of the Archangel crew and the world as a whole.

"He had to fight against his own people, his own best friend, to ensure the safety of those around him. He fought bravely and nobly, despite the odds, and almost died in a fight with Athrun when his friend, Tolle, was killed by Athrun as well as Athrun's friend, Nicol Amarfi, was killed by Kira.

"He and Mwu La Flaga were the only ones capable of protecting the Archangel from the Crueze team and did their jobs well. Then he joined the Clyne Faction with Athrun Zala, where they made up, and helped to end the war.

"Then in the second war he appeared again, saving Lacus from being assassinated, and saving me from a wedding," she said and everyone laughed and she continued, "And once again piloted the Strike Freedom but this time on ORB's side, staying neutral and fighting to keep the peace between Zaft and the Earth Alliance.

"It was then that he met Shinn Asuka from Zaft," she said and they blushed and smiled at each other. "Keeping his identity secret from Shinn, he continued to fight for ORB, while Shinn continued to harbor a secret hatred for the pilot of Freedom," everyone was sitting forward in their seats, some glancing at the two men, as Cagalli told the story of their relationship and the chaos it brought.

"And then, after saving Shinn and taking him to ORB, Kira Yamato and Athrun Zala once again ended the war in one last battle! Kira, come up and receive your reward!" Cagalli said and everyone stood to clap, Shinn whistled, many people cheered, some people even cried, like Murrue, as he went to receive his award and a big hug from his sister.

When he sat back down Shinn kissed him and Lacus pecked him on the cheek and Athrun patted him on the back. There was more applause before everyone settled down, and Kira's eyes shown brightly in the artificial lights of the building.

* * *

**-Author's Note: No, this isn't the ending of the story, just the chapter, I have to end it here because I can't concentrate right now, please tell me what you think and please give me some ideas or pointers for the next chappy! I hope I'm not losing anyone because it's starting to lose action, but I just thought the memorial would add a nice touch and end the story well, there will be at least one more chapter left, so please continue to read and I'm sorry for the long delay!-**


	25. Chapter 25: Memorial 2 & Ending Songs

**Chapter 25: A Memorial for Heroes Part 2**

**Disclaimer: Alas, I only own a DVD of episodes 6-10 of the series, if that even counts, eh heh. I don't own any characters either, even though I want plushies! Kira and Shinn own each other though (laughs as they blush madly)!**

**Kira: I'm just going to ignore that…**

**Shinn: (evil grin) he he he, guess who's back on top? (Glances at Kira who is glaring) eh heh just kidding (sweat drops and tries to grin)!**

**Me…yeah I dunno where that came from….ON WITH THE CHAPPY!!! WOOT! I do not own any of the ending credit songs.**

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"Next is a hot-tempered young man who in the first war was Commander of his squad on the Le Crueze team, that is, until Athrun took over." Cagalli said and Yzak glared at Athrun –playfully-. 

"His mother was a Councilwoman of Zaft and knew Patrick Zala and Siegel Clyne personally. He was a skilled pilot, but often couldn't contain his anger and outbursts. He was a big help in ending the First Bloody Valentine war." She continued.

"Then, in the Second war, he came back as a Councilman of Zaft, being the head of the military. He and Dearka Elsman fought again to bring about peace to all nations, and was a big help to the PLANTs and Zaft! His noble efforts and loyalty to the service made PLANTs what it is today, let's hear a round of applause for Yzak Joule!" she said and everyone clapped as Yzak got up and received his award from Cagalli.

His smug expression wasn't hard to miss as he came back down and sat next to Dearka, who poked him in the ribs and grinned at him.

"This young man also fought alongside Yzak and Athrun on the Le Crueze team and was a skilled pilot. However, most called him a "playboy" with his pervish attitude towards female comrades, and even enemies." Cagalli said and everyone laughed as Dearka blushed and grinned.

"But he was a very skilled pilot and also joined ORB when Athrun left. His efforts to pursue peace added to the ending of the war when he battled alongside Athrun and Kira at Jachin Due." she added and some nodded.

"In the second war he accompanied Yzak and fought to protect his fellow comrades and coordinators, trying his best to prevent the war and then trying to end it quickly yet again. As you can see, his efforts paid off and now we're all here! Dearka Elsman, come on up!" Cagalli said and Dearka came up, some people whistled and he winked at the crowd and grinned after getting his award.

Cagalli sighed, "A lot of people to be thanking eh?" she asked and everyone nodded, some chuckling. "Next up, a female hero from the first war! This tough Captain of the Archangel recruited Kira personally while on Heliopolis. She's smart and brave and knew what she was doing. While being the Captain of the Earth Forces ship the Archangel, she commanded her crew with an iron fist, and a noble heart." She continued and some people went, "Awww."

"She was pitted against the famous Le Crueze team and fought bravely and strongly against Zaft's Elite ship. With Kira and Mwu La Flaga as her Ace pilots, things went smoothly for the Captain and her crew. She then sided with ORB to end the war once and for all!

"Then in the second war she was once again ORB's ally and fought only to protect the ones she loved, and her fellow people. She showed true bravery and loyalty to her crew and to ORB and eventually helped to stop the war! Murrue Ramius everyone!" Cagalli ended as Murrue came up, clapping galore from the crowd.

"Now this man, formerly of Zaft, was known as the Desert Tiger, and fought Kira himself, however, everyone thought he was dead, until he showed up in the second war on ORB's side!

"Although he had a few scars and injuries he still piloted his Gundam and helped the effort to bring about peace, alongside Kira and the others. He provided a good laugh when things seemed tough and taught us all a powerful lesson. Andy Waltfield!" Cagalli said and he came up.

"This beautiful songstress was also a big help in times of trouble. Her father, Siegel Clyne, was branded a traitor to Zaft after speaking his mind about the war to Chairman Patrick Zala. Her powerful songs brought peace and comfort to the soldiers and people alike, and she showed us all that fighting was pointless and that peace was true happiness.

"After seeing that the Earth Forces and Zaft just wouldn't give up fighting, she formed the Clyne Faction, a neutral organization that Kira, Athrun, Andy, and Dearka joined for the sake of restoring peace and saving mankind from war.

"But in the second war she was replaced by Meer Campbell, a girl who not only looked like her, but also sounded like her. Although she was replaced she soon showed the people that Meer was a fake, deployed by Chairman Gilbert Dullindal, and again took control of things.

"She continued to speak for the people and brought comfort to all. Lacus Clyne, please accept this reward!" Cagalli said and they hugged when Lacus went up.

"This man fought alongside Kira in the first war with the Earth Forces. A good friend of Captain Ramius, he joked around a lot to ease the tension of the youths aboard the Archangel and fought bravely against Raw Le Crueze. Although he died, most of us believe he was reincarnated and is now Neo Rorranoke (?)." Cagalli said and most nodded.

"Although he was part of the Earth Forces, he still fought for the sake of all and wanted peace to rest upon Earth and PLANTs. Mwu La Flaga/ Neo Rorranoke, please accept this reward in your honor!" Cagalli said and he came up and accepted it.

(A/N: Wow, I think that's most of the really important people, if not, just tell me, because I can't write this much anymore!)

Cagalli then praised the others from the first war, including Mirillia Haww (Who I forgot to mention but there you go).

"And now for the heroes of the last war. This young man I know personally, he was Zaft Elite's Super Ace pilot on board the Minerva, piloting the Impulse to victory in every battle he fought." Cagalli began.

Kira elbowed Shinn and grinned at him. "Your turn." He chuckled and Shinn blushed and elbowed him back.

"After witnessing his own family's death, he joined Zaft and was brought aboard the Minerva. He fought bravely and valiantly and even brought down Kira! And of course you know what happened after that because I'm sure you all know who I'm talking about by now." She said and people chuckled and nodded.

Shinn blushed and bit his lip as people turned to look at him.

"After experiencing the events that followed he joined ORB and helped alongside Kira and Athrun to end this war once and for all. His efforts were greatly needed, and I think we can all say that we're glad he survived! Shinn Asuka, please come up and receive this award in honor of all you've done for PLANTs and ORB!" Cagalli said and everyone stood and clapped as Shinn walked up to get the award. Cagalli hugged him and he blushed and nodded and went back to Kira who hugged him also and said, "You didn't think we'd let you get away with everything did you?"

They chuckled and Luna hugged him as well.

"Ok, next is a young woman who not only surprised her peers by joining Zaft, but also worked hard to earn the respect of her comrades once she became an Elite. She did her best in battle and proved that she was good enough to survive." Cagalli said.

"Being the older sister, she had a strong sense of protection-which was exactly what Zaft needed in that time. She put her life on the line to protect the ones she loved, and she totally kicked ass! Lunamaria Hawke!" Cagalli said and Luna walked up, blushing while people clapped and whistled (including Shinn).

"Wow, I didn't think I'd get an award! This is so cool!" she said when she sat back down. "Yeah, good job, I'm proud." Shinn told her and they blushed. Kira and Athrun exchanged looks and then Cagalli continued.

"And now the younger of the Hawke sisters. Unable to go into battle, her job was in the Control Room of the Minerva, setting up the launch and keeping communications right with the pilots. She did all she could to help out, and she's greatly appreciated for her efforts by her comrades.

"Also, she went with Athrun when he escaped from Zaft and went to fight for ORB once again and bravely contributed to the end of the war! Meyrin Hawke!" Cagalli said and Meyrin (as surprised as her sister) walked up to get her award. People also clapped for her and she smiled and waved as she went back to the table.

"Also, a huge thank you goes to the rest of the Minerva crew, be it engineering, other soldiers; anyone who helped out. Thank you all!" Cagalli said. She then stepped down and another man came up to the podium.

"Hello, I am the current President of the United States, George W. Bush." He said (Don't ask I ran out of people!). "Cagalli Yula Attha, the beautiful young lady that was just speaking, also deserves a little appreciation, don't you think?" he asked and everyone agreed by applauding. "Being the daughter of the Representative of ORB, her life was sought many a time. She's a strong-willed, independent, and courageous woman who did all she could to protect her people, her loved ones, and her friends." He began.

"She joined a resistance group against Zaft in the first war, where she met up with her twin brother, Kira Yamato (who at that time didn't even know they were siblings!). She fought bravely and valiantly as well against the enemy with her friends. She then joined the Archangel and, even though she's a natural, fought in a Skygrasper: The Strike Rouge.

"She then joined the Clyne Faction with Kira and her soon-to-be fiancé, Athrun Zala. After obtaining peace she received the position of ORB's Representative, her father, Ulan (?) Attha, died during the war.

"Then she once again took up arms in the second war. She was on the Minerva for a while, with her bodyguard 'Alex Dino' who we all know as Athrun Zala, who later rejoined Zaft and was appointed to FAITH. After being persuaded by her council she sided with the Earth Forces, even though it wasn't what she wanted, and was soon about to be wed to Yuuna Roma.

"Well, some of you may know this, and some of you don't, but the reason why she ended up _not _getting married to him (fortunately) was because her brother, Kira, literally showed up in his MS, the Freedom, and took her from the wedding, dress and all!" he continued and everyone laughed and Shinn looked at Kira, surprised and amused.

"And then she did all she could as Representative of ORB to bring about the ending of the war, and to restore peace to the nations of Earth and PLANTs. Without her efforts, this Memorial might not even be going on! Let's give one more round of applause for the wonderful, amazing, truly magnificent, Cagalli Yula Attha!" George said and everyone stood and clapped.

Cagalli blushed and waved to everyone, trying to hold in the tears, as Athrun presented her an award, and they hugged and kissed in front of everyone.

"I would now like to ask you all to meet outside, at the memorial, so we can remember the ones we lost." George said and everyone started to get up and walk outside.

Shinn sighed as he got up. "Well, here we go, ready Shinn-chan?" Kira asked him and Shinn nodded. "Yeah, this is the part most people aren't going to walk away from easily." Athrun said and Cagalli nodded and exchanged a glance with her twin brother.

When everyone had gathered outside in front of the huge memorial stones and burial places, George Bush stepped up to the podium and said: "In the First Bloody Valentine War, Junius Seven of PLANTs was attacked by those of the Earth Forces. We remember those who died that day." and he read off all the names of those that died.

When he came to "Lenore Zala" a single tear came to Athrun's eye, and Kira (who was sitting beside him) put his arm around his shoulders and gave him a warm smile, and Athrun smiled back, and Cagalli took his hand in hers and also smiled at him.

"Among those of the Earth Forces that died are:" and again he listed names in order. When he said "Fllay Allster" and "Tolle K" (I keep forgetting his last name!) Kira tensed and Athrun looked away guiltily and Shinn nudged him and smiled reassuringly at him.

"Among those who died of Zaft are: Nicole Amarfi, Miguel A, Rusty Pal (?), Heine Westenfluss (?), Patrick Zala, Ezalia Joule (I think), Rey Za Burrell, Talia Gladys, Chairman Gilbert Dullindal" Shinn tensed up when he heard his name "Meer Campbell," and he went on. (If I missed anyone please tell me and I know that wasn't in order I was just putting them down so I wouldn't miss anyone). Kira looked guiltily at Athrun when he said Nicol's name.

"Those of ORB that died are:" and he named Cagalli's bodyguard and Ahmed (I think that's how you spell it) and other resistance fighters, including Aisha who was supposed to be with Zaft but oh well. When he came to "Yuuna Roma" everyone sighed with relief, including Cagalli.

"The Asuka family," President Bush said and Shinn shot a glare at Kira when he wasn't looking. Kira, however, saw it anyway (He's the Ultimate Coordinator people, he sees these things) and whispered, "If it makes you feel any better I lost a lot of friends and my family as well, we're both orphans."

Shinn looked at him surprised. "But what about Mrs. Yamato? Isn't she your mom?" he asked him. Kira shook his head. "She's my _adopted _mother. My real last name is Hibiki, so is Cagalli's, our dad died with the rest of the failed experiments in his lab and our mom died too. Cagalli was sent to live with Ulan Attha who promised to take care of her and I was put with Mrs. Yamato. I thought you knew." He told Shinn.

Shinn, still surprised and slightly shocked, shook his head and said quietly, "No, I didn't know, what do you mean, 'failed experiments'?" and gave him a weird look. Kira sighed. "When my dad, um, well, you see, uhhh," Kira was having a hard time finding the right words to explain to Shinn that he's a test-tube baby (lol sorry that's just funny).

"His father was trying to create the Ultimate Coordinator with his offspring, many of his attempts failed, resulting in most of his children dieing before even being born. A lot of people thought that none of them survived, until we found out it Kira survived." Athrun said. He heard them talking and explained it for him.

Shinn at first just sat there and blinked at them. Then he mouthed, "Ohhhhhh." and smirked. "So you're the Ultimate Test-Tube Baby?" he whispered teasingly into Kira's ear. Kira gave him a hurt look and didn't respond. Shinn nudged him, "What? It was only a joke Kira-kun, I'm sorry." He said.

"It's ok, it's just, when people found out at my school they always made fun of me like that, that's why I stopped telling people." Kira told him. "But don't all naturals make fun of coordinators like that? Because we really are kind of like test-tube babies." Shinn said, making Kira chuckle and Athrun shake his head jokingly.

"I guess so. But, there you go, my family story. I bet you'd have thought twice about taking revenge on me if you knew about my background during the war, eh?" Kira said and Shinn looked embarrassed. "I'm sorry, yeah, probably," and he sighed. "I guess I was a bit stupid to hate you and not even know what you've been through." Shinn said quietly.

"Well now you do, and we can move on, right?" Kira asked and smiled at him. Shinn smiled back. "Yeah. Now we can finally move on." Shinn said and they hugged. (A/N: awww so sweet!)

The rest of the Memorial went well, and everyone said their good-byes, regretfully and sorrowfully. Many people planned get-togethers, including the star characters (Kira and Shinn, Athrun and Cagalli, Yzak and Dearka, Lacus and unfortunately for them Rowan, Luna and Meyrin and their husbands were all going to get together a week from then to have fun).

The world seemed to finally be at Peace…

_**The End**_

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**-Author's Note: YAY! I'M DONE! This is the last chapter of the story, but please stay tuned for Bloopers, ending credits (following the note), and extras galore! I would also like to let you all know that there will be a sequel, thanks to a suggestion from demonz8000. Although I'm not sure when I will be able to upload it because I'm extremely busy! Thank you to all who reviewed to make this fic possible, please review the following extras as well, THEY'RE GONNA BE FUNNY! And now, on to the ending credit songs!:**

"**Wasteland" By: 10 Years**

_Sung from Shinn's POV_

Change my attempt, good intentions.

Crouched over, you were not there, living in fear.

But signs were not really that scarce, obvious tears.

But I will not hide you through this; I want you to help,

And please see the bleeding heart perched on my shirt.

Die! Withdraw! Hide in cold sweat, quivering lips ignore remorse,

Naming a kid, living wasteland. This time you've tried,

All that you can, turning you red!

Change my attempt, good intentions.

Should I? Could I?

Here we are with your obsession.

Should I? Could I?

Crowned hopeless, the article read 'living wasteland'.

This time, you've tried, all that you can,

Turning you red. But I will not,

Hide you through this, I want you to help!

Change my attempt, good intentions.

Should I? Could I?

Here we are with your obsession.

Should I? Could I?

Heave the silver, hollow sliver, piercing through another victim!

Turn and tremble, be judgmental! Ignorant to all the symbols!

Blind the face with beauty paste! Eventually you'll one day know!

Change my attempt, good intentions.

Limbs tied skin tight. Self inflicted his perdition.

Should I? Could I?

Change my attempt, good intentions!

Should I? Could I?

Should I? Could I?

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**"Breaking the habit" By: Linkin Park**

_Sung from Kira's POV_

Memories consume, like opening the wound,

I'm picking me apart again.

You all assume, I'm safe here in my room,

Unless I try to start again!

I don't want to be the one the battles always choose!

'Cause inside I realize that I'm the one confused!

I don't know what's worth fighting for, or why I have to scream!

I don't know why I instigate, and say what I don't mean!

I don't know how I got this way; I know it's not alright!

So I'm breaking the habit, tonight!

Clutching my cure, I tightly lock the door,

I try to catch my breath again.

I hurt much more, than anytime before,

I have no options left again!

I don't want to be the one the battles always choose!

'Cause inside I realize that I'm the one confused!

I don't know what's worth fighting for, or why I have to scream!

I don't know why I instigate, and say what I don't mean!

I don't know how I got this way; I know it's not alright!

So I'm breaking the habit, tonight!

I'll paint it on the walls!

'Cause I'm the one at fault!

I'll never fight again!

And this is how it ends!

I don't know what's worth fighting for, or why I have to scream!

But now I have some clarity, to show you what I mean!

I don't know how I got this way, I'll never be alright!

So I'm breaking the habit!

Breaking the habit!

I'm breaking the habit!

Tonight!

(Doesn't Kira sound a lot like Chester Bennington from Linkin Park? Kinda, sorta, not really?)

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"**(Can't get my) Head around you" By: The Offspring**

_Kira and Shinn singing (You'll see)_

Kira: Deep inside your soul, there's a hole,

You don't wanna see.

Shinn: Every single day, what you say,

Makes no sense to me

Both: Even though I try, I can't get my head around!

Kira: Somewhere in the night, there's a light,

In front of me!

Shinn: Heaven up above, with a shove,

Abandons me!

Kira: And even though I try, I fall in a river of you!

Shinn: You manage to bring me down too!

Shinn: All your faking,

Kira: (Get up, get up, get up, get up!

Shinn: Shows you're aching!

Kira: (Get up, get up, get up!)

Kira: Every single day, what you say,

Makes no sense to me!

Shinn: Letting you inside isn't right,

You'll mess with me!

Kira: I never really know, what's really going on inside you.

Both: I can't get my head around you!

Kira: All your feeding,

Shinn: (Get up, get up, get up, get up!)

Kira: Shows you're bleeding!

Shinn: (Get up, get up, get up!)

Shinn: Deep inside your soul, there's a hole,

You don't wanna see.

Kira: You're covering it up like a cut,

With the likes of me!

Both: You know I've really tried; I can't do any more about you!

Shinn: (YEAH!)

Kira: The cut's getting deeper!

Shinn: (YEAH!)

Kira: The hill's getting steeper!

Shinn: (YEAH!)

Kira: I guess I'll never know, what's really going on inside you!

Both: I can't get my head around you!

Kira: I can't get my head around you!

Shinn: I can't get my head around you!

Kira: I can't get my head around you!

Shinn: I can't get my head around you!

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And one more! Sung in Kira's POV:

"**You" By: Candelbox**

_(Shortened radio version)_

You.

It's for you.

Only you.

It's for you.

I'll never know,

I'll never care,

I'll never believe my people.

I'll tell you what I say.

I'll never lie,

I'll never try,

I'll never cry for you people.

I'll push you,

Push you away.

As you lonely people,

Keep on running around my door.

Yes, you lonely people,

Keep on begging,

Beg for more!

And I'll cry for you,

Yes I'll die for you!

Pain in my heart it is real!

And I'll tell you now how I feel inside,

Feel in my heart it's for you!

It's for you.

Only you.

It's for you.

I'll never try,

I'll never die,

I'll never push for you people.

I'll tell you how I feel.

I'll never lie,

I'll never cry,

I'll never try for you people.

I'll tell you, yes it's real.

And you lonely people,

Keep on passing time away,

Yes you lonely people keep on passing,

Pass away!

And I'll cry for you,

Yes I'll die for you!

Pain in my heart it is real!

And I'll tell you now how I feel inside,

Feel in my heart it's for you!

And I'll take everything

As it comes my way!

Pushin' your pain 'round my door!

And I'll cry for you yes I'll die for you.

Is this blood on my hands all for you?

You shiver

And shudder

Recovers your mother

You feel it take control

All alone

Feel alive

In your soul

Come around town

Steal another dime

Take another line

Won't you feel it

Blanket you soul

Out of mind

Come around town

Steal another dime

Do another crime

Won't you get it higher and higher

I don't want it no more

And it's mine

Said this pain in my heart is all mine

Yes, it's mine all alone

I don't want it no more

I don't want it no more

I don't want it no more

I don't want it no more

And it's mine on my own

Yes, it's mine all alone

As I cry for you

Yes I'll die for you

Pain in my heart, it is real

And I'll take

Everything as it comes my way

Feel in my heart it's for you

And I'll lie for you as I die for you

Pain in my heart it is real

And I'll tell you now

How I feel inside

It's for you

* * *


	26. Chapter 26: Bloopers!

**Bloopers!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own GSD or any characters and I also don't own the first blooper because that one belongs to demonz8000. If you would like to give any ideas please review or message me. Author's Notes are in bold after each blooper.**

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**Blooper #1 from Chapter one: WRONG LINE KIRA!**

**Scene: At Subway when Kira and Shinn were talking**

"Oh, yeah, I know exactly what you mean." Kira said. "So, what do you do for a living?" Shinn asked, taking a bite into his sandwich. "I'm the Freedom's pilot that is claimed the best of all mobile suits that helped ORB and killed your family." Kira said with a BIG smile, not noticing the shocked face of Shinn.

Me: WRONG WRONG WRONG! KIRA! You're supposed to tell Shinn you're a reporter! Alright, let's do take two!

Random guy that does the clicky thingy: Chapter one, take two. (Click)

"Oh, yeah, I know exactly what you mean." Kira said. "So, what do you do for a living?" Shinn asked, taking a bite into his sandwich. "I'm the pilot of-I mean a reporter! Yeah, let's go with that." Kira said.

Me: NO! Alright, from the beginning.

Random guy that does the clicky thingy: Chapter one, take three. (Click)

"Oh, yeah, I know exactly what you mean." Kira said. "So, what do you do for a living?" Shinn asked, taking a bite into his sandwich. "I'm a pilo-reporter!" Kira said.

Me: (Sigh)

**Take 593**

"Oh, yeah, I know exactly what you mean." Kira said. "So, what do you do for a living?" Shinn asked, taking a bite into his sandwich. "I'm Freedo-um, the guy that does the newspaper thingy." Kira said and Shinn let out an exasperated sigh and whined, "Oh come on! It's already 5:00 in the morning of Tuesday; we started this thing yesterday morning! And besides, I'm full again."

Me: ARGH! I GIVE UP! If anyone needs me, I'll be in my office! (Stomps to the door and slams it shut)

**I'd like to thank demonz8000 again for that blooper.**

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**Blooper #2 from Chapter 2: Shinn forgot his meds.**

**Scene: When Kira woke up after the looooong night they had…**

He finally awoke in an odd position (blah blah blah).He looked around to see…Shinn head-banging terribly to a Panic!At The Disco song??

'_What the freak? That's not in the script,' _Kira thought as he sat up on his elbows and looked at Shinn like he was crazy (which he was). "Shinn, what on Earth are you doing?" Kira asked finally after seeing Shinn jump up and down while singing loudly: "LET'S GET THESE TEEN HEARTS BEATING! FASTER FASTER! SO TESTOSTERONE BOYS AND HARLEQUIN GIRLS, WILL YOU DANCE TO THIS BEAT AND HOLD YOUR LOVER CLOSE? SO TESTOSTERONE BOYS AND HARLEQUIN GIRLS, WILL YOU DANCE TO THIS BEAT AND HOLD YOUR LOVER CLOSE?" amazingly good.

Kira could only stare while a ginormous sweat drop slid down his cheek.

"Uh, Shinn, are you ok? Did you take your meds before you came to the studio?" he finally asked him.

He discovered that the song was done and Shinn was breathing heavily as he turned to Kira, sweat dripping from his face. "W-what?" he asked breathlessly.

"I asked you if you took your meds today." Kira said again as he walked over to him. Shinn giggled, "He he he you're naky (naked)." He said and laughed as Kira blushed a dark red and got a sheet to cover himself.

He growled at Shinn who only laughed harder while everyone in the studio were still on the floor twitching from the anime face-drop they did at the beginning of the take.

I finally recovered and said, "Ok, let's get Shinn some meds and then we can start over."

But Shinn screamed, "NO! NOT THE MEDS!" and clung to Kira, "DON'T LET THEM TAKE ME!!!" He screamed again. Kira looked around with a sweat drop, "Uh, what do I do?" he asks me.

I try not to look at him and say, "Um, er, uh, well, first put some clothes on!!!!" and he blushes again and Shinn laughs but won't let go. "Shinn let go and go take your meds!!" Kira yells at Shinn. Shinn sniffles and pouts, "But I don't wanna!" he says and we all sigh and I roll up my sleeves and grab Shinn by his right arm and drag him away muttering things I shall not write in this blooper while Shinn is screaming and struggling and Kira looks confused.

**Yes, I was hyper and listening to P!ATD when I wrote this blooper….and now more from demonz8000! (These aren't in order but oh well)**

* * *

**Blooper # 3 from Chapter 16: The Fight**

**Scene: When Cagalli and Shinn are yelling at each other and Athrun and Kira are holding them back…**

"Let him try to fight me! All I have to do is touch his arm!" Cagalli said and struggled to get free from Athrun's firm grip.

"I'd like to see you try!" Shinn yelled and also struggled against Kira, making him wince.

"Fine!" Cagalli yelled as she got out of Athrun's grasp while Shinn also got out of Kira's grip.

"I won't even notice if you hit me!" Shinn yelled as Cagalli raised her arm and smacked HARD on Shinn's arm.

"S-s-see? I-it D-d-d-idn't-t-t hurt o-one bit." Shinn said in a shaky voice with tears at the corners of his eyes.

"Shinn?" Kira asked, worried.

"WAH!" Shinn finally started crying his eyes out and ran to his dressing room/office yelling, "I HATE YOU CAGALLI!! YOU'RE A BIG MEANIE!!" crying all the way.

"Aren't you going to do something?" Athrun asked me.

"Nah. This is too funny." I say.

**It's a bit short, but anyways, that was also from demonz8000 and here's some more from them as well:**

**Blooper #4 from around the last chapter: Lacus scares Shinn…**

**No particular scene (call it an extra or deleted scene if you want)**

"Thank GOD that Gil died." Shinn said as he wiped his sweat away.

"Yup! You should be happy!" Kira yelled as he gave a big hug to his husband.

"No more Gil to scare me!!" Shinn yelled happily.

"BOO!" Lacus yelled with a Gil mask.

"AH!" Shinn yelled in surprise and shock, and before you could blink twice, he fainted.

"THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR STEALING KIRA!!" Lacus yelled running away.

"..."

**The whole mask thing is kind of an inside joke, but yes, funny, isn't it?**

* * *

**Blooper #5 from Chapter 21: Kira beats up Gil…a little too much…**

**Scene: When Kira burst onto the scene when Gil was trying to rape Shinn in front of everyone in the Control Room…**

'_What's he doing here? Does he have a death wish?'_ He (Rey) thought and then Kira burst into the room, hardly out of breath, and ran over to Dullindal and kicked him so quickly that everyone sat stunned.

Kira was so fast that when Talia blinked and opened her eyes back up she saw Dullindal fall down clutching his well, you know! And saw Kira standing over him looking angry.

"DIE DIE DIE!!" Kira yelled still in SEED mode as he kept kicking Gil.

"Here." Athrun said handing him a metal baseball bat.

"Thank you." Kira said sweetly with a face no girl can't help but melt from. Then he turned towards Gil with an angry face that was worse than any English teacher when you forgot to do your homework. Fire roamed behind Kira with lightning and loomed over Gil.

"Eek?" Gil said quietly before Kira went back to beating...no, killing, is a better word to describe what he was doing to Gil.

**Near the set**

I start clapping and say, "Beautiful, absolutely wonderful!" as a tear rolls down my cheek.

Talia-san: "Aren't you going to stop him, this isn't in the script and he's not faking it…"

Me: "No, why should I? That little freaker shouldn't have touched Shinn. He's getting what he deserves."

Talia: "This is just a story though; it was all fake, wasn't it?"

Shinn: "Nope."

Everyone except me, Kira, and Gil sweat drops.

**I added the little scene under the bold "Near the set" thingy because I thought it'd be funny…this one is by me:**

* * *

**Blooper #6 from Chapter 4: Shinn forgot his meds…again…**

**Scene: When Shinn comes over and Kira asks him what he wants to do since he's not hungry…**

"So, what do you wanna do?" Kira asked.

Shinn looked like he was thinking and then got close to Kira and yelled in his ear, "YO MAMMA BIOTCH!" and then fell back laughing as he saw Kira wince and rub his ear.

"Ok, now what was that for?" Kira asked him, looking irritated.

"I wanted to, got a problem?" Shinn asked sounding dangerous but you could tell he was only joking.

Kira wasn't.

"Yes. I. Do." Kira said through clenched teeth and lunged at Shinn.

"AAHHH!!! BAD ULTIMATE COORDINATOR!" Shinn yelled as he got tackled by Kira.

I'm standing near the set and trying not to laugh but stay serious as I say, "Kira, come on, leave him alone, he probably just forgot his meds again."

"Did you forget your meds?" Kira asked Shinn (who he had pinned).

"Maaayyybe." Shinn said and chuckled, but then stopped and gulped as he saw Kira look angry. "I'll go take them now." He said as Kira let him up, but as soon as he got a foot away he ran off laughing and said, "TRICKED YA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!" and then everyone was chasing Shinn trying to drag him to his changing room and force-feed him his meds.

No one was able to catch Shinn and Kira finally got really angry and sped after him, grabbed his right arm, twisted real hard (which made Shinn scream like a girl and I tried not to laugh) until Shinn finally agreed to being dragged to his room and force-fed his meds,….which Kira ended up doing anyway. Poor Shinn and his medication problems.

(Shinn runs passed me laughing like a maniac as Kira chases him)

"I stand corrected, never mind! GET HIM KIRA!!!! I THOUGHT YOU GAVE HIM HIS MEDS!" I yell and here we go all over again…

**That's all for that blooper, Kira got really angry, poor Shinn, not really, he he!**

* * *

**Extra! Extra! Read all about it!**

**Singing in the car… _Should I? Could I?_**

Kira and Shinn were riding in Kira's car, going to a restaurant. They had the radio on and the song "Wasteland" by Ten (10) Years came on and Shinn started singing the lyrics quietly to himself because it was his favorite song.

"_Change my attempt, good intentions."_

Kira glanced at his lover as he sang the totally ironic song.

"_Crouched over, you were not there, living in fear. But signs were not really that scarce, obvious tears. But I will not, hide you through this, I want you to help and please, see, the bleeding heart perched, on my shirt."_

Kira smiled a little at how pretty Shinn's voice sounded, until he continued with these words:

"_DIE! WITHDRAW! Hide in cold sweat, quivering lips ignore remorse! Naming a kid, living wasteland, this time you've tried all that you can turning you red!"_

Kira was shocked by these words because he knew Shinn was unknowingly singing them about him (Kira). However, Shinn was oblivious to Kira as he stared out of the window singing the chorus:

"_Change my attempt, good intentions. Should I? Could I? Here we are with your obsession. Should I? Could I?"_

'_Should he what?' _Kira thought as Shinn continued with the second verse:

"_Crowned hopeless, the article read Living Wasteland. This time you've tried all that you can turning you red. But I will not hide you through, this I want you to help!_

_Change my attempt, good intentions. Should I? Could I? Here we are with your obsession. Should I? Could I?"_

'_Help what Shinn? I hope he's not taking this song to heart…' _Kira thought and gulped.

"_Heave the silver hollow sliver, piercing through another victim! Turn and tremble, be judgmental, ignorant to all the symbols! Blind the face with beauty paste! Eventually you'll one day know!"_

'_Know what?' _

"_Change my attempt, good intentions. Limbs tied skin tight. Self inflicted his perdition. Should I? Could I? Change my attempt good intentions! Should I? Could I?"_

Shinn looked at some scars on his wrist when he sang "Self inflicted" and Kira saw that he had cut himself. _'I've never noticed those cuts before.' _He thought.

"_Should I? Could I?" _Shinn finished and turned to smile at Kira. "What?" he asked as he saw Kira looking at him oddly.

"Oh nothing, I was just listening to you sing that song." Kira said and smiled. "Oh, was I too loud?" Shinn asked and blushed. Kira chuckled and said, "No, it's fine." "Oh, ok then." Shinn shrugged and continued looking out the window.

**Ok, that was a lil extra scene thing. Well, I think I'm done with this one because you guys have waited long enough, and if you have an idea just tell me in your review because I'd be glad to add more bloopers!**


End file.
